Monday, July 17, 2017

Ed Flurb, The Evil Guy

Someone we've never mentioned previously, Ed Flurb, is perhaps one of our dumbest foes ever. 

As a matter of fact, calling him a foe at all was a bit of a stretch. The guy was a genuine maroon.

But ... everyone has a dream, right? And few ever get the opportunity to get out there and live those dreams. Ed? Well, he got to gettin' and did his thing. So, in that respect, I guess we have to give Ed his due.

He first burst on the scene with - you guessed it - a letter (hand written even) that came to us out of the blue one day:


I'm The Evil Guy. And I just might turn out to be your worst super villain nightmare. So watch out!

Ed Flurb aka The Evil Guy

Yep. That was the extent of our introduction to him. Nothing more. We promptly forgot all about him.

Ed Flurb, The Evil Guy.
Evil ... personified.

Then, a few months later, we got another note from Ed:


Remember McDonald's "Super Size" options on their meals some years back? It was all the rage and even got attention in that Morgan Spurlock film. Remember how "super sizing" was then vilified and eventually done away with by the chain? Well, I'm bringing it back. Me, The Evil Guy! Super sizing will be reintroduced to the doom of all mankind!

Ed Flurb (better known as The Evil Guy)

We pondered over this a while (it was a really a short amount of time we actually pondered) and decided to take a wait and see attitude about the affair. As it turned out, nothing ever came of it. Once more we promptly forgot all about Ed's threat.

Obviously taking a break from evil doing.

Another few months passed and another post came our way.


I'm planning on world domination in the form of slowing production values of the public at large. How am I going to do this? By randomly putting up orange safety cones on some of the busiest freeways ever, forcing bottlenecks and resulting in traffic jams and, thus, lost work hours. No one will be able to get anything done! With work stymied, the economy will collapse! Watch out!

Ed Flurb (You know me better as The Evil Guy)

We had a good chuckle at that one. And, of course, nothing was ever heard of on this particular issue.

We don't know. Don't ask.

"You know" Clark commented "Ed is making a name for himself ... as our most inept foe to date."

A few more months went by. Another letter.


You want trouble? I'm going to hand it to you on a silver platter. I'm teaming with Fidel Castro and Cuba and together we'll bring about "The Bay Of Pigs - The Sequel!" Start counting your days; they're numbered!

Villainous Ed Flurb, The Evil Guy

"Uhm ... doesn't he know Castro died a few years back?" Jeff queried.

But it didn't make any difference. Because we never heard word zero about Cuba or Casto or a resurrection of The Bay Of Pigs nor Ed's "alliance" again.

Again ... no clue.

Like I said: Ed did his thing. Giving credit wear credit is due, he did dream big. (So to speak.) But he never followed through on anything so far as we could tell. Or ... maybe he did and his plans simply died on implementation. We don't know.

But the dude was a never ending source of sniggers.

Jeff and Clark might have a few more words on Ed later in the week. Just, you know, don't expect much.

Note: We didn't hear from The Unbelievable Dance Crew over the weekend so there was nothing further to report on their behalf. When they get back to us, we'll get back to you. I know, I know ... you're waiting with bated breath to see what they come up with ...

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