Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Choc Full Of Nutty Happenings

Naturally, we stayed on in Switzerland for a few days after we'd inadvertently done Dr. Oldschool's D.I.Y. for him, wishing him the best of luck in his microbrewery venture.

It just seemed appropriate. We love Switzerland anyways. I love clocks, Michael loves pantsless snow activities and Clark, well...

Clark loves chocolate. Especially the handmade Swiss kind. Clark is as happy in Switzerland as a pig in muck. We just let him loose in downtown Geneva and said, "take your time, buddy."

But it was on Sunday when Michael and I were in the hotel that things took a turn.

Michael had heard about the Large Hadron Collider and wanted to know more about it. I was trying to explain the science of accelerated particles and it was clear I was not breaking through. Michael's a great guy, very smart, you understand, but sometimes it's like he's wearing glasses made from pure snot while trying to critique an oil painting. It wasn't until he'd made some sexual reference, giggling like a schoolboy, that I realized why I wasn't making any headway.

"No, no," I said. "Large Hadron. HADRON, H-A-D-R-O-N, not H-A-R--"

Suddenly the door burst open and in waddled a clearly chocolate-engorged Clark, near enough bouncing off the walls.

"Guys, guys! You will never believe it!"

"What, that you have eaten your own weight in chocolate?" I said cynically.

"Like you didn't buy fifteen cuckoo clocks?" retorted Michael.

"OK, OK, so I like them," I replied, and then, returning to Clark, I I asked what was up.

"You will never believe who's opened a chocolate shop here! You'll never guess. When I tell you, you're gonna flip your flippin' lid!"

We stared at Clark for what seemed like an age.

"Guinney Pepper!"


"Yes, the Guinney Pepper! You know, of Lick The Chalice fame!"

The penny dropped.

We're all big fans of reggae superstar Guinney Pepper. On fishing trips and long car journeys, he's practically all we listen to.

He's also one of our international network of moles and informants from the world of celebrity.

"What!? What is he doing in bloomin' Switzerland?" I asked.

"Well, not only does he love chocolate and timepieces, he's onto something big! He thinks it's something to do with - (ahem) - Petit!"

"Good gravy!" cried Michael. "I thought after last time, that little dingbat troll monkey would have hung up his pipe for good!"

"We need to get down to the shop where he's having his grand opening and see what he knows. There's no time to waste!"

We sped off, pronto.

Tune in later this week for the next part later this week! For, like, the next part!

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