Monday, December 5, 2016

The ICC







More often than not, The Unbelievables don't wait for things to happen. We make things happen.

But, in this particular case, we were glad to have waited for the opportunity.

The International Conference of Crime (The ICC) rears its head to gather some of the best crime fighting groups and individuals from around the globe. It's an interesting get-together, sporadically appearing at various times and never at the same time of year or location. With a mere month's notice of any of the conferences, not all champions of defense and do-goodery are able to make the event. Or are offered an invite for that matter.

This year was one of the times our calendar allowed us to attend.

The ICC is a series of meet and greets, sit downs, interactive workshops and more centered on quashing the actions of ne'er-do-wells and their malfeasance. The three-day affair also hosts a lavish end-of-conference dinner which is one of the highlights of the event, complete with special emphasis on those in attendance who have gone above and beyond in their efforts to put misconduct in its place.

Of course, The Unbelievables - with all our globetrotting adventures - we're keynote speakers. We were afforded the opportunity to call out some of our most daring adventures, much to the delight of all those in attendance.



The quiet before the storm:
A glimpse of one of the lecture rooms an hour prior to our Unbelieva-Fu® lecture.

We even got to head up a panel featuring our signature Unbelieva-Fu® methods of discipline ... which, as it turned out, blossomed into a surprise threesome of lectures because of its popularity. (Bonus: We have a hefty amount of new orders for our Kickin' Jeans with DiamondCrotch® technology.)


Plus, we devoted a minute on some of the Matt Damon / Jason Bourne film consultations.
Doesn't hurt to showcase a high point or two every now and again.

Needless to say, with our highlighted attendance, The ICC was a smashing proceeding this year ...



Me and Stevie Nicks in the midst of an Unbelieva-Fu® session.
Yes, long ago Stevie signed up for some personal one-on-one instruction.
I was happy to oblige ...
  
... but it wasn't without a few instances of drama.

Clark and Jeff will fill you in on a couple of those points later in the week.


Friday, December 2, 2016

Game boys!


The guys have done such a great job of listing so many of the great features of The Unbelievables video game that I can't believe they forgot one of the very best ones: YOU can put YOURSELF into the game!

Simply upload a picture of your face:

Apply a filter, if you like (optional):
Choose a body style:
Armored


Stylish


Michael

Female

And you're ready to go, a virtual Unbelieveable saving a virtual world from all manner of virtual villainy!

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Add The Unbelievables To Your Christmas List!


The fantastic "The Unbelievables" game in stores now!
Ready to stuff a Christmas stocking!
Offered in a highly-prized retro package as shown, too!
(Boot wearin' Unbelieva-Babe not included)


Notoriety sometimes has its downsides, you know.

And, in our case, that of The Unbelievables, it goes without saying.

But we're big boys. We can handle it. In most instances the notoriety is nothing more than sour grapes from some jealous source who can't handle the truth, that The Unbelievables' standards are merely dreams to them, attainability that's simply out of reach.

Especially to our villainous foes.

Case in point: The new Unbelievables multi-level gaming extravaganza titularly titled The Unbelievables. (Original!) There's so much tasty goodness in each playing level (not to mention within the bonus play areas of the game such as the aforementioned
Clark's Defenestration Station) that hours and hours of fun are guaranteed for the entire family.

Here are a few features of the game to tickle your fancy:

 Multiple player formats so you can share all the excitement with your friends and family!

 
Hundreds of realistic disguises! No game play is ever the same!

Secret, unlockable levels such as the challenging "The Telephone Game" ...

Tons of weapons to choose from, many geared specifically for the ladies!
(Hello, Ladies!)
 
Realistic worlds, venues and backgrounds ...
 
Heinous villains, some female! *shudder*

 "I play The Unbelievables! You should, too!"
Celebrity tested and endorsed ...

... and by some rather unexpected celebrities.
(Don't worry, Jane Goodall. We won't leak your secret obsession!)


Of course, our villains will have a tough time navigating the various levels of The Unbelievables. But we're sure they'll buy it just so they can delve in and try to unlock some of our successes. Good luck, ne'er-do-wells!

Even Santa approves of The Unbelievables. Put it on your wish list!




Monday, November 28, 2016

Having A Smashing Thanksgiving

Well, as you may or may not have noticed, it was Thanksgiving last week.However, we were still reeling from Clark's unfortunate moment of incarceration and his troubles with Henri Petit and the now-disgraced Officer Sixpack Bicep and were too tired to do anything about Turkey Day Dinner. However, the Unbelievababes were on hand, saw how down in the dumps we were and pulled out all the stops to make our Thanksgiving a pleasant and happy one.


It was unseasonably warm on Thursday here in Stiletto Flats, so Barby Kewribbs whipped out the charcoal grill and got some spatchcocked pheasant starters sizzling and getting our mouths watering.


Then the beautiful Sue Donymm surprised us with some whoppers, glistening and moist and ready to be tasted. Turkeys, that is.


There were some lovely side dishes prepared by the delightful Jill O'Salad...

and the groaning board was a sight to behold.


The whole thing was so enjoyable that we completely forgot about all that unpleasantness with Petit.

Well, almost completely. Clark spent a couple hours playing his newest favourite video game - The Unbelievables (in stores just in time for Christmas, folks!) - specifically the special level named Clark's Defenestration Station where you can relive again and again some of Clark's best out-of-window-kicking-and-chuckings (see below).









Ciao!

Friday, November 25, 2016

You Can Probably Deduce What Happened ...




Here's what we did about it:

Officer Sixpack Bicep of the Stiletto Flats Police Department appeared to be on steroids. Steroids, as it turns out, are a big fat no-no in the "illegal substance statute" that falls under several Stiletto Flats penal codes. So, putting in motion a rumor that Officer Bicep might be partaking of such to some of the higher ups in the department?

Boom. Instant dismissal of charges.


Which was almost as instant as the dismissal of Officer Sixpack Bicep of the Stiletto Flats Police Department. See you later Officer Bicep! And your nepotism-laced ways, too. Pretty easy stuff.

The bigger remaining question ("Why?") was rather simple to answer: It was because of Petit and his vindictive nature.

Naturally, once Clark was sprung from the slammer, he went directly to the little twit's hangout and unceremoniously did this to him:




And (while it wasn't exactly politically correct or even nice to have done so) Jeff and I watched in admiration as Petit eventually went kersplat on the pavement below.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

It's Not What You Know, It's Who You Know

On Monday, Clark posed a pertinent question:

 "Henri Petit was able to put ME, an actual card-carrying Unbelieveable IN JAIL! How?? WHY?!? Does he have a better lawyer than we do?"

Good point. Who IS Petit's lawyer, anyhoo?

A little digging turned this up.



None other than his lawyer cousin, Harry McLittle. His lawyer motto? This.


And that's not all. Harry McLittle's brother-in-law? This guy.


Officer Tony 'Tiny' Small, with the Tahlequah, OK Police Dept. And his second cousin twice removed on his mother's side? THIS guy.


Detective Inspector Jock McTitch of Scotland Yard. And HIS best friend?


Wee Seamus O'Nipper, the world's most dapper leprechaun. And HIS brother-in-law?


Officer Sixpack Bicep of the Stiletto Flats Police Dept. 


So now we know who greased whose palms in order to get Clark banged up in the slammer. The question remains...


WHY?


And WHAT are we gonna do about it?

Monday, November 21, 2016

Moving forward with the matter at hand

Okay, so maybe I touched up my jail photo a little bit, you know, for aesthetics. And maybe the original looked more like this...

And maybe I have a preference when it comes to certain foods. I don't trust nature, okay? What, you put a seed in the ground and in a couple of weeks you pull a potato out of a ground and you're just supposed to pop that in your mouth? That's the sketchiest thing I've ever heard! No!
No, you take that potato and run some science over it and dehydrate it and make it super-concentrated so when you add water to it, it's amazing. That's how you do food!
Mm-MMM!!


Anyway, let's re-focus; Henri Petit was able to put ME, an actual card-carrying Unbelieveable IN JAIL! How?? WHY?!? Does he have a better lawyer than we do?
This is what we need to work on right now!