Wear'em? We endorse'em ... !!!

Duh!

The Bad Guys? They Go Bananas Over Charley Chimp

I'm preaching to the choir when I say The Unbelievables are masters of disguise as well as unparalleled masters of all things weaponry-ish. (Sometimes? We're even masters of our own fates.)
 
And it's the furthest thing from our minds not to admit we've had plenty of help on the path toward the dashing, mannerly Stylish Gentlemen we are today.

A few "helpful" examples include (but are not limited to): Playboy Magazine's own Hugh Hefner ... the various weapons used in our exploits, including the innovative Lobster Rage Fist *shoots a glare in Jeff's general direction* ...the ultra-fabulous Unbelieva-Babes ... even The King himself, Elvis. The list goes on and on and on.

And, most recently in this very blog - as you've seen courtesy of my cohorts Jeff and Clark - the lovely Sindy and ever-ready Captain Action, respectively.

But there's one more instrumental character in our seemingly unending arsenal of readyment and gain: Charley Chimp, the cymbal-banging monkey toy.

Charley Chimp

Originally manufactured by the Japanese company Daishin C.K. in the 1950s under the moniker "Musical Jolly Chimp," Charley has been an invaluable (if little mentioned) tool in The Unbelievables' crime fighting efforts. He might not have the savoir faire of Sindy nor the flair pour l'action of the Captain, but he's been an affecting part of our team for quite some time.

His strengths are rooted in his simplicity. Flip a switch at his back and Charley begins banging his cymbals noisily. What fun! Better yet, what a distraction.

Yes ... the perfect bane of the ne'er-do-wells we come across time and again. And again. 

You see ... in the early days we really needed someone (or something) to create a diversion when necessary, a surprise element to throw the bad guys off their game. Hey, we enjoy an old fashioned "good vs. evil" tussel just as much as the next guy, but there's a lot to be said (along with the possibility of a lot less damage) in simply nabbing villains without a scuffle.

Of course there are times when a real, live body is the only thing that will do the trick. But one afternoon I came up with the brilliant idea of utilizing monkeys in place of people. (After all: Just like bacon, isn't everything better with monkeys?) Being cute, intelligent, trainable and useful to a fault, Clark was on board right away ... but Jeff was on the fence. (I think he might have been a bit jealous, truth be told.) Following my suggestion, Jeff came in the very next day wearing his version of a diversionary tactic incorporating monkeys:

Monkey Bra: Good for raucous tiki parties ... not so good for crime fighting ...

Much to his chagrin, Jeff was shot down immediately. Wearing one of those only put a person in danger ... and it wasn't much of a diversion.   

Naturally, there was need for a little Research and Development if we were going to utilize monkeys to their full potential. Live animals were brought in and trained; for the most part they worked out rather well. But the cost of maintenance, foodstuffs, et al got a little pricey.

Enter Charley Chimp.

Set with a remote to activate the switch on Charley's backside, we were golden. The perfect foil to create that momentary hesitation we sometimes needed to throw evil doers off their game. 

It's not only the surprise of seeing Charley on one's doorstep that makes one take a mental step backward. Nor is it the annoying cymbal-clanging that gets to you, either. Charley's appearance can be quite the eye-opener, frequently raising the hair on the back of your neck. See for yourself:

Kind of cute ...

 RATHER FRIGHTENING ... !!!

Not the most attractive of mugs ... wouldn't you agree? It's plain to see how a bad guy would cringe at the mere glimpse Charley's hideous visage. And sometimes that's all we need to commandeer the upperhand in a given situation.

And ... those eyes. The eyes can really get to you, if you know what I mean:

Charley's eyes bulge on command, creating a rather disturbing appearance that would cause anyone to stop dead in their tracks. So you can see how Charley makes a terrific companion in our fight against injustice.

Plus, there's one more little trick up our sleeves we use to keep things in line. The "Charley Token," a simple carved Charley image to remind hooligans and delinquents we've been in their neck of the woods, so they better mind their Ps and Qs:

Yeah ... that's rather daunting as well. You can plainly see how members of the "We Don't Have The Best Intentions Where Your Welfare Is Concerned" set would be freaked out by this.

See? He's ready at a moment's notice

Charley Chimp. He's quite the useful means to throw a wrench in the bad guy machine ... and the perfect compliment to both Sindy and Captain Action.

   

Our mentor of disguise

Funny that Jeff mentioned the specific phrase "action figure" because it immediately calls to mind none other than Captain Action, the man who taught us the art of disguise.



"Ray gun: check. Lightning sword: check. Underwear on the inside: Oh damn it!"

We never learned his real name but that's okay. If there's one thing we understand, it's that it's important to guard your secrets in our line of work. Captain Action (or Cap or C.A. as we called him) never became quite as widely known or appreciated as G.I. Joe, but those familiar with him know that versatility was his strongest suit. He could become anybody!


"Bah! Your licensing restrictions are of no concern to me!"

That was not always the case, however. I said earlier that he taught us the art of disguise, but actually, we kind of learned together.
We had taken on the assignment of infiltrating a rogue paramilitary organization in order to steal their plans for a weapon of mass destruction. We had gotten in but were stuck in a corridor deep within the compound, unable to proceed without being spotted due to their armed guards and a state-of-the-art video surveillance system. We came across one of their shock troops and he tried to take us out. Of course, we handled that minor obstacle with little difficulty but figured we had only bought ourselves a precious few seconds before more troops were dispatched, in greater numbers and with bigger weapons. That's when Cap sprung into Action...
CAPTAIN ACTION: Quick! Help me put on that guard's jacket and hat!
US: (We help him)
CAPTAIN ACTION: Excellent! Now I can move among them and not be detected!
MICHAEL: That's great, except you forgot about the dozens of video cameras all over this place.
CAPTAIN ACTION: What about them?
JEFF: They totally just watched you put on one of their uniforms.
CAPTAIN ACTION: I don't follow...
CLARK: You have no element of surprise. They're all like, "Hey look, one of them just put on one of our uniforms!", "Oh wow, which one?", "The one that didn't have one on before and who is wearing his underwear on the outside!", "Oh, well, let's kill him and then his friends!".
CAPTAIN ACTION: ...
US: ...
CAPTAIN ACTION: Let me wear your sunglasses!

Anyway, it turns out that they were all watching some sports thing on tv and weren't even paying attention to the video cameras (the one guy we encountered was just on his way to the men's room) because we just kind of walked into their offices, found the plans and left through the front door. But we all got better at the art of disguise after that. Especially Captain Action.


A LOT better!