tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36477024297610413122024-02-19T06:03:10.870+00:00The UnbelievablesThese dudes are bad. Bad clothes. Bad hair. Bad attitudes.<br>From the secret files of The Kitsch Bitsch ... we present ... <b>The Unbelievables!</b>Jeff Hickmotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16024527446189594739noreply@blogger.comBlogger787125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-27811935955123351172017-11-24T17:02:00.000+00:002017-11-24T18:33:03.406+00:00Played out<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We tracked Negative Charge down at one of his hideouts, an abandoned Radio Shack (well, it's still open but it <i>is</i> a Radio Shack) at the Stiletto Flats Galleria. Wanting to waste no time, we presented Jeff's theory and asked him if he was behind it. "That's fiendishly brilliant", he said. "So much so that I wish I had thought of it. Three weeks ago. Before I signed that document. Damn it, that might have worked!" "No, it wouldn't have", Michael replied. "The fact that we're standing here asking you about it now clearly indicates we would have figured it out." Negative Charge sighed and said, "Good point. Hence the reason for us signing. We simply can't win. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go set the clocks on the VCRs." Jeff stopped him. "Wait a minute. Why do all of you seem to be so in line with each other on this, to the point where it looks downright synchronized?" Negative Charge turned and said, "I guess we're finally learning all kind of things from you guys."<br />
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With that, we returned to the Unbelievabase. "Well, I guess that's it then", one of us said. Without words between us, because at this point we're so attuned to one another that sometimes we don't have to speak aloud, we started packing things up to be put into storage in case we ever need them again. Pretty soon, the place was practically empty. Michael restored the "broken" washer in the laundromat to fully functional before taking Ulf the Unbelievadog to a boarding kennel. Meanwhile, Jeff drove a bus full of Unbelievababes over to Marissa's newly re-christened "Miss Riss's Home for Wayward Showgirls and Former Unbelievababes". It's right across the street, but Jeff does love a nice bus ride, regardless of the length.<br />
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I was the last one, waiting for a truck to pick up the last of the storage containers. That's when I heard a knock at the door. Guess who it was?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Of course.</td></tr>
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"Henri Petit! What are you doing here? Is <i>this</i> when you mount your attack? You trick us into breaking down our base, separating from each other and <i>then</i> you move in? Well, bring it on you wee, disgusting, vile..."<br />
Henri shook his head and said, "No, that's not it at all. I just came over because...well...since this is over now...", as he started to choke up. "OUT WITH IT, HORRENDOUS TWERP!"<br />
"Well, all I ever really wanted was for you guys to like me, so we could hang out and be pals. It was all a cry for attention. I just admire you all so much and it was so painful, facing your rejection all the time. And now that the whole thing is over and we're not on opposite sides, I thought maybe we could, I don't know, play a game. Like friends."<br />
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He took the game out of the box and set it up on one of the crates, near the window where we saw cars driving by, their drivers oblivious to what had taken place in the amazing-yet-non-descript building they had passed so many times over the years.<br />
"Up to four can play but it looks like Michael and Jeff aren't here, so maybe just you and I?" He looked so pathetic and small and vulnerable and ugly. I said, "Sure Henri. Why not. Now are there actual rules to this game?" He said, "Yes, they're printed on the box down there on the floor." I bent down to pick it up and looked up just in time to see him, in a pair of oversized boots, rearing back to kick me out of the window.<br />
Then everything went black.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04886503955676399289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-26324833748600972802017-11-23T11:02:00.000+00:002017-11-23T11:02:48.507+00:00Are We Being Played?<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>Well, it's taken a few days, but we are about 95% caught up. Ever since Negative Charge presented Michael with that rather extensive legal document, the three of us and Ulf the Unbelievadog have been calling all the foes, past and present (including some we haven't even gotten around to telling you about, such as Yodelin' Bob Trevino, the half-Mexican cowboy pigeon rustler, and society pages regular Mandy Rice-Pudden, champagne thief)that signed the document stating that their criminal days were over and they were finally giving in. </b></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Apparently, it's back to the life of a regular <i>charro</i> for Yodelin' Bob.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And Ms. Rice-Pudden wants to go straight, too.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>However.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>Like I said, we'd called almost all of them, and so far the responses had been identical. In fact, they'd almost all been word-for-word the same. Almost mantra-like, if you want to know the truth.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>I voiced this opinion to Clark, Michael and Ulf quite early on in the process and they quickly told me I didn't know what I was talking about. Three hours later, weary and in need of a break, they looked at me and said - "you know, I think you're right. It's almost like they've been brainwashed. They all say exactly the same thing, like we're talking to a bunch of cult members."</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Yeah, and who's good at brainwashing?" </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Well, I remember a fellow who had some... minions?"</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"You don't mean... Negative Charge himself? You think he set us up?"</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Wuff!" agreed Ulf.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Alright," said Clark, "let's go see what he has to say for himself. If we're being tricked into taking things easy, I might just have to defenestrate somebody!"</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>I'll let Clark pick up the tale on Friday.</b></span>Jeff Hickmotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16024527446189594739noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-47029640671961030522017-11-20T12:01:00.000+00:002017-11-20T12:30:32.002+00:00The Unbelievables Take A Final Curtain Call?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The phone rang. I answered it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Unbelieva-Base. This is Michael ..."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Just the person I wanted to talk to. Michael? This is Negative Charge ..."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And so began a really strange day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Negative Charge, so-called <a href="http://the-unbelievables.blogspot.com/search?q=negative+charge" target="_blank">master of electricity</a>, wanted to come over and talk. He had some important news for us and wanted to reach out to me first, thinking I was the most level-headed of the three. (I don't know where he got that information but I went with it.) "Sure. See you when I see you," I replied.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He arrived and I invited him into the parlor. I asked if he wanted a refreshment. "What's up?" I asked.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I'm here as a representative of the coalition of foes of <b>The Unbelievables</b>," Charge began. "Quite simply, we wanted to put out to you guys we're finished with our evil doing ways. It's just not worth it any longer. Every time we try to do something - take over the world, for example - The Unbelievables are right there, foiling our plans. It gets old, let me tell you. Not to mention all the time it takes to plan these things. And the expense! Whew! Talk about hitting home! Between the pocketbook and the groundwork necessary to come up with some sort of viable world domination blueprint, well ... we <i>give</i>. We're done. The entire lot of us. We're hanging our hats for good. And every last one of us is on board with this, too. We even have an official signed and notarized say-so promising compliance."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was stunned ... but I didn't let it show. I just nodded and listened attentively during his spiel. But ... was it a spiel? I thought so, simply out of caution and past experiences ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">... until he handed me the document.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV4UKyWsxVBC9I7fcbNQFDUG2hA57FVngmGyWxAI35oHAXjhbkpWLSagr_kvf8FvM19A87SSy60AgPBiOyOV_p_cZRzFbkyZaRsjr_P2XCwrb3PcyRG0E7VqIllXd71H5ENw8b0RJ8K9c/s1600/63677834-Notary-public-wax-stamp-seal-on-notarized-document-Stock-Photo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="867" data-original-width="1300" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV4UKyWsxVBC9I7fcbNQFDUG2hA57FVngmGyWxAI35oHAXjhbkpWLSagr_kvf8FvM19A87SSy60AgPBiOyOV_p_cZRzFbkyZaRsjr_P2XCwrb3PcyRG0E7VqIllXd71H5ENw8b0RJ8K9c/s400/63677834-Notary-public-wax-stamp-seal-on-notarized-document-Stock-Photo.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I took it and looked it over. There was a lot of official wording and legal promises to the page. But it seemed to be on the up and up. It was signed by each and every ne-er do well we'd come across: Mac Ramey. Bernard "The Gingervator" Bigyott. The Leapers. Günther Parsifal McParshnipp. Little Debbie. Dr. Oldschool. The Klumpmasterflash Twins. Cripes ... even that foul midget Henri Petit had signed the thing. Clark was going to get a kick out of that. In fact, I was willing to bet cash money he'd want to hear it straight from the little imp's piehole Petit was relinquishing his nefarious ways. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Huh," I noted. "Is this a copy for us? Because we're going to have to verify this, Charge. It's not that I don't trust you. But ... you have priors, you know."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"By all means. Do what you have to do. And yes ... that copy is yours. It's completely official. Verify everything I've told you and get back to us. Contact our attorney, there, at the bottom of the page. He speaks for all of us. He and the courts will tell you this is completely legitimate, totally above board ..."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I showed Charge out and thanked him for coming by. As he left, he turned to me and stuck his hand out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Of course, with our exit, I suppose this will put The Unbelievables out of the crime and injustice fighting business. There won't be anything left for you to do, I imagine."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"We'll get back to you," I replied, ignoring his comment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But ... was Negative Charge right? Was this truly the end of The Unbelievables? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Ruprechthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877547409686157948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-5702747665769785562017-11-17T13:49:00.000+00:002017-11-17T13:49:26.698+00:00Oddball Obsessives<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>As Michael correctly surmised on Wednesday, "Jeff might have a couple more we missed.". Oh, I have at least a couple. My question is, what is these people's problem? Why do most of them want to dress up as or transform into other species? For example:</b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">DUCKY McDUCKFACE</span></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKksPllAZbLKWEEIKDgUDyJ_Jgte877gGNy5rEXeQhg6O4ErL5jxPYhd2pJlx3oL3oO71M5C-MELgrXjw4q0A81GABG5lxLdBb0FGSPU4XE0Aubghpolvz693pI4MNcaVozd61XbSZ_Ak/s1600/duckwoman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><img border="0" data-original-height="525" data-original-width="700" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKksPllAZbLKWEEIKDgUDyJ_Jgte877gGNy5rEXeQhg6O4ErL5jxPYhd2pJlx3oL3oO71M5C-MELgrXjw4q0A81GABG5lxLdBb0FGSPU4XE0Aubghpolvz693pI4MNcaVozd61XbSZ_Ak/s400/duckwoman.jpg" width="400" /></b></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><b>Yes, she's had her name legally changed to Ducky McDuckface, and is hell-bent on becoming a duck, in order to "take over the world". Isn't that what they all want? However, she is not specific about what she'll do with the world once she takes it over. She just says she'll "run it her way". Well, if her attempts to turn into a duck consist of a little more effort that two Pringles and a couple of grapes, maybe we might be bothered to sit up and take notice. Until then, however, we're just gonna chill.</b></span></td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">FRANKIE LIMON</span></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0v9OTDxFKUvRbqNqnI4BXYqR8JuZKWzI_UpLvcu9s7-n2nJRVLO5Ws6eJkdXhGGG1QpMW_BZhqN1DO0VSzKSgRzp6m0qQyhXSYCVDWplFvd4VCD2OxB77Dhv7ZBgBRZRxjn_Mrs7mRb4/s1600/limeguy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="590" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0v9OTDxFKUvRbqNqnI4BXYqR8JuZKWzI_UpLvcu9s7-n2nJRVLO5Ws6eJkdXhGGG1QpMW_BZhqN1DO0VSzKSgRzp6m0qQyhXSYCVDWplFvd4VCD2OxB77Dhv7ZBgBRZRxjn_Mrs7mRb4/s400/limeguy.jpg" width="392" /></b></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><b>This one time fruit seller was robbed repeatedly until all he had left was a bunch of limes (oddly enough, his favourite fruit). They stole his fruit stand and his clothes, so he now wears the limes as a sort of superhero costume, with a vow to "teach society a lesson - you don't mess with the fruit sellers". No danger to us, but we keep an eye on him as he seems to be a bit of a danger to himself.</b></span></td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">AYE-AYE POPEYE GUY</span></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7rLRM0Cjz3XxlWREKrTMrFbfz9Wzu5bpx4mVJI0w_6crC3Ll5whH67tZLHlmOc7juKAfLdlCmEwN4my8TdrVfNbKngJEN8e3Sg29ka_WhE7uojVpdQvRRRzYw1R7a5joAh3706fshFZ4/s1600/popeyedude.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><img border="0" data-original-height="332" data-original-width="500" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7rLRM0Cjz3XxlWREKrTMrFbfz9Wzu5bpx4mVJI0w_6crC3Ll5whH67tZLHlmOc7juKAfLdlCmEwN4my8TdrVfNbKngJEN8e3Sg29ka_WhE7uojVpdQvRRRzYw1R7a5joAh3706fshFZ4/s400/popeyedude.jpg" width="400" /></b></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><b>At one point, this candy-and-tobacco addicted former crazy-golf-hut-attendant was a handsome man. You wouldn't know it now, though. The candy rotted his teeth, he lost his job at the crazy golf place... you fill in the blanks. He now makes a living as a Popeye impersonator on the streets of Stiletto Flats, doing what is probably the strangest, if not wholly inaccurate Popeye impersonation I think I've ever seen. Again, a danger to no-one but himself, he has come panhandling in our launderette a time or two, and we've had to throw him out and send him on his way with a flea in his ear.</b></span></td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">RATDENTIST</span></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrLXriOGVHy2Dek2ZS9qisDObdN1WLiq0TrlcLatvRWGJtVa8eHUH35mNxtXi_s4XwQD6coDTRKhvwsBAC17NnHVkT_9VLerLKMx_qNpP-AaSwg7nEayZI1dLnlz5b3GisxkxZAq28wv4/s1600/ratdentist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><img border="0" data-original-height="663" data-original-width="500" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrLXriOGVHy2Dek2ZS9qisDObdN1WLiq0TrlcLatvRWGJtVa8eHUH35mNxtXi_s4XwQD6coDTRKhvwsBAC17NnHVkT_9VLerLKMx_qNpP-AaSwg7nEayZI1dLnlz5b3GisxkxZAq28wv4/s400/ratdentist.jpg" width="301" /></b></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><b>Ratdentist is a great lover of kids' movies, and so was inspired when he saw Ratatouille, the movie about the rat that becomes a top-flight chef. "I thought, why not! If a rat can become a chef, then why not a dentist. I'a always been a passion of mine to go into dentistry..." What he doesn't mention is that he's taken to petty larceny to pay for dental college. If we can get him to go straight, we'd gladly pay his tuition, but he needs to turn himself in first.</b></span></td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">BRENDA BLASTOV</span></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVV1z60JDjzvGINwuTd2UnMfbQtbG7IgxIlvRHqCt6PiWX8hyphenhyphenOezDVI8ZtnYktGqcPY6gRNLbHlCyZV_Wo6EBNFWo8SAe2wbVLDOq7hkQpUfhZUy6NBOJl-ES8iivN4joWPljabotkRwc/s1600/brendablast.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><img border="0" data-original-height="585" data-original-width="570" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVV1z60JDjzvGINwuTd2UnMfbQtbG7IgxIlvRHqCt6PiWX8hyphenhyphenOezDVI8ZtnYktGqcPY6gRNLbHlCyZV_Wo6EBNFWo8SAe2wbVLDOq7hkQpUfhZUy6NBOJl-ES8iivN4joWPljabotkRwc/s400/brendablast.jpg" width="388" /></b></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><b>Ms. Blastov has been experimenting for many years with creating human missiles, propelled by a variety of fuels, all of them a variation on the same theme. The idea behind it is apparently to get the humans airborne and then shoot at people below with a poison dart system. We keep an eye on her simply because she might either succeed in getting more than three feet off the ground, or blow herself up.<br /><br />RAMENELVIS</b></span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="466" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg15RH17BbBSg3nzVcrvPUN_TnRmNCPT-E5kBjgn74sZ9ZQ970QsW_PfedhvBMGGCXcfcaYWxyEG1NWJdlMrTEw6mGR6FyOjRw47qDoHIcAcWVQFZdp4zOMOt6byAVp8MuLcLx-01QU_cg/s400/ramenhead.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="310" /></b></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><b>Ramenelvis believes in the natural psychic-enhancing properties of noodles, and therefore wears a wig of ramen to enable him to telepathically read peoples minds. We keep an eye on him simply to protect him from getting attacked by seagulls.<br /></b></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg15RH17BbBSg3nzVcrvPUN_TnRmNCPT-E5kBjgn74sZ9ZQ970QsW_PfedhvBMGGCXcfcaYWxyEG1NWJdlMrTEw6mGR6FyOjRw47qDoHIcAcWVQFZdp4zOMOt6byAVp8MuLcLx-01QU_cg/s1600/ramenhead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg15RH17BbBSg3nzVcrvPUN_TnRmNCPT-E5kBjgn74sZ9ZQ970QsW_PfedhvBMGGCXcfcaYWxyEG1NWJdlMrTEw6mGR6FyOjRw47qDoHIcAcWVQFZdp4zOMOt6byAVp8MuLcLx-01QU_cg/s1600/ramenhead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b> So there you have it. A few more oddballs that we simply have to keep tabs on simply to stop them from themselves.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>P.S. Have you ever wondered what happened to Harry after The Hendersons? I spotted him the other day on the subway in Prague. What was I doing there? Maybe I'll tell you someday....</b></span><br />
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<br />Jeff Hickmotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16024527446189594739noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-32046518713115009162017-11-15T17:01:00.000+00:002017-11-15T19:14:14.927+00:00More Unobsessibles<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNwjIosP_KhGEJAO_W9pMN7kf4axpKih_jC2I8QmkJuOeLrGPWPmK4U5cMg7VZKmnGEHOJD0F9xYs8NTK3CtGH0JJIEiU6G5_H58BkB097gQxPCQfhw9iId8jgfnKQfpnj9vhSrjT-E_I/s1600/944158cb5e371879b2c8f5348960533b--aphrodite-reading.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="399" data-original-width="500" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNwjIosP_KhGEJAO_W9pMN7kf4axpKih_jC2I8QmkJuOeLrGPWPmK4U5cMg7VZKmnGEHOJD0F9xYs8NTK3CtGH0JJIEiU6G5_H58BkB097gQxPCQfhw9iId8jgfnKQfpnj9vhSrjT-E_I/s400/944158cb5e371879b2c8f5348960533b--aphrodite-reading.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>We've got our eye on you, Unobsessibles</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Clark hit the nail on the head about many of our foes. (Personally, I think they come from broken homes with bad childhood experiences ... but that's just a theory of mine.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Still, you gotta watch out for some of these Bozo noses ...</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih9ZD8LE-V_xGJLI9HdrI1jA-SYjC1Kv5cjOD60fK7mS3mea9z4n_Ud7MhUL8XRm8Wmn8Tyn3Zmmmko3vE6n9zhnmJafD62kSF7rYjg1t2CPWTygWKrNkaBLKJ1dqs0KSd7aI2Plx_nEk/s1600/Feline+Dancing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="603" data-original-width="640" height="376" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih9ZD8LE-V_xGJLI9HdrI1jA-SYjC1Kv5cjOD60fK7mS3mea9z4n_Ud7MhUL8XRm8Wmn8Tyn3Zmmmko3vE6n9zhnmJafD62kSF7rYjg1t2CPWTygWKrNkaBLKJ1dqs0KSd7aI2Plx_nEk/s400/Feline+Dancing.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b>Dander Puss</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Oh ... he's innocent <i>now</i>. (I think it's a he. No judgment here.) But wait until whatever obsession he's exhibiting takes a turn for the worse. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Can you imagine? Hairball hacking superpowers ... allergic reaction ray guns ... incessant mind control torture meowing ... rampant apathy. The list could go on and on ... and on.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b>Chanita Jones aka Furbelly</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">A couple miles over from Dander Puss is this character. Put the two together and who knows what evil they could come up with as a team ...</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDcAH5emR4H0gjmDrrbmVDE4OuYgbqiTCfAwyr8EYTxsWCfYkDBSeu1x-FsM_zpf9fjUIeSoxU7NsYnLS1BAvKZsciYBNWIl-g-VFPfeI4ovjeFDveIIAclt838TP-K9k7t-JtiTw3QcQ/s1600/Grandma+Establishment.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="579" data-original-width="700" height="330" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDcAH5emR4H0gjmDrrbmVDE4OuYgbqiTCfAwyr8EYTxsWCfYkDBSeu1x-FsM_zpf9fjUIeSoxU7NsYnLS1BAvKZsciYBNWIl-g-VFPfeI4ovjeFDveIIAclt838TP-K9k7t-JtiTw3QcQ/s400/Grandma+Establishment.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b>Grandma Establishment</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I see this piece of work doing much more than waving a cane above her head and yelling at kids to stay off her damned lawn. Don't you? (<u>Note</u>: Sorry for the graphicness of the above photo. Some of these wackos are blatant and uncultured.)</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVuzRpHGTBAGTX8kmaTbq107CIY0DXkFd6wB0CEQnaU3TVuVTeRQOQan9woD0HXVF7N0CE4n4jpdJgPwxgiWF5sNqvhIZ-SnI-_OedOp0mWTxA7QUBpMTLnu2NMxGRpVeJuxWb_fbgeoQ/s1600/Nosehair+Natasha.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="660" data-original-width="660" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVuzRpHGTBAGTX8kmaTbq107CIY0DXkFd6wB0CEQnaU3TVuVTeRQOQan9woD0HXVF7N0CE4n4jpdJgPwxgiWF5sNqvhIZ-SnI-_OedOp0mWTxA7QUBpMTLnu2NMxGRpVeJuxWb_fbgeoQ/s400/Nosehair+Natasha.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b>Natasha "Knows"</b></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Gross. Just ... gross.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghSz6CsTafHpt6IYycPgmh4GM8p7IDXPAi3i7nlL7YbjBKLTjWLk6iATC7WVUCWplLcpYfb7sVvrSjnBPQcdeTI-oj8sjnJqdcgo9aOZRDiMTAR-LPUrRwbcNqdTN6tL10vJ7n4sWAi3g/s1600/Watermelon+Head.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="368" data-original-width="664" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghSz6CsTafHpt6IYycPgmh4GM8p7IDXPAi3i7nlL7YbjBKLTjWLk6iATC7WVUCWplLcpYfb7sVvrSjnBPQcdeTI-oj8sjnJqdcgo9aOZRDiMTAR-LPUrRwbcNqdTN6tL10vJ7n4sWAi3g/s400/Watermelon+Head.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b>Melonhead</b></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">What a goofball.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Still, what could he be planning, if anything? The reintroduction of watermelon seeds to everyone's favorite summer fruit? (Scandalous!) Some sort of rind chicanery? (Unthinkable!) Melon ball panic mania? (What?!?) Who knows?</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKCYQWvy6xkzWPji-_JaIjgIx-qwe9aY7l-TWLCYR2h974f2bCbpRestR-NTEkWNiF_szHFVjlcwVnyJo4Bo-HeVvoUCRdHEa1Hlbk_dJcwQ613GFgpFP3xFD-A88L0YvJZ7ST1n3EHF8/s1600/LGBTatarian.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="636" data-original-width="483" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKCYQWvy6xkzWPji-_JaIjgIx-qwe9aY7l-TWLCYR2h974f2bCbpRestR-NTEkWNiF_szHFVjlcwVnyJo4Bo-HeVvoUCRdHEa1Hlbk_dJcwQ613GFgpFP3xFD-A88L0YvJZ7ST1n3EHF8/s400/LGBTatarian.jpg" width="302" /></span></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Tom Smith</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>(Better known as "<b>LGBT-atarian</b>")</i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">What sinister dealings (or color schemes) this possible Obsessive might have lurking in the folds of his muumuu is anyone's guess. I shudder to think. <i>*shudder*</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">But it's this next group we might <i>really</i> have to keep a closer than usual eye on. Because it's not the group itself but the brains behind the curtain, so to speak, that could drum up bad business ...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGAISYL4X-8lMlK54kplVkh7oHT4x2acTsAwdE2QuzV0b2lbo1mVTQCXSjATIUZ3GYRwk_SpzmMTlshDTuHHomQnOwbeH03JIVXt52sfRM2qWtrDpj4LBdbEbGMF2glDJjCW0vrZLZpMo/s1600/Santa+Baby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1600" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGAISYL4X-8lMlK54kplVkh7oHT4x2acTsAwdE2QuzV0b2lbo1mVTQCXSjATIUZ3GYRwk_SpzmMTlshDTuHHomQnOwbeH03JIVXt52sfRM2qWtrDpj4LBdbEbGMF2glDJjCW0vrZLZpMo/s400/Santa+Baby.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is an example of an innocent little tyke dolled up in a Santa outfit. Cute as a button, isn't he? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And that, right there, is the problem. Can you see the potential of this kid - or a bevy of them - being the center of attention while devious doings are afoot behind the scenes?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">You betcher Bippy. Just imagine it: People's attentions distracted by all that lovablenness while crime is being committed not a stone's throw away. Despicable! Contemptible! And absolutely within the realm of possibility. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The chaos and no-good-doer-y of this unnamed menace are limitless. And, with the Christmas season practically upon us, that's why we've got a bead on this viable threat.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jeff might have a couple more we missed. Stay tuned for Friday's entry ...</span>Ruprechthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877547409686157948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-57884487964304916462017-11-13T12:00:00.000+00:002017-11-13T12:00:03.881+00:00The Unobsessibles Having <a href="http://the-unbelievables.blogspot.com/2017/11/a-pretty-simple-groot-extraction.html">effectively dealt with Günther Parsifal McParshnipp</a> (was there ever a doubt?), it occurred to me that an awful lot of our foes find themselves on the wrong side of the law due to their inability to effectively control their uncontrollable obsessions. <a href="http://the-unbelievables.blogspot.com/2017/11/the-root-of-all-evil.html">McParshnipp</a> with rooted vegetables. <a href="http://the-unbelievables.blogspot.com/2013/11/denouement-of-double-d-dilemma.html">Mac Ramey</a> with stringy fashion. Henri Petit with being a disgusting little urchin.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx6MtowTeaafrpC6HFMfn-x4-wJ7iiUMudWeky80Zxff-Abv8QL0qQIE-FSuwXJTEO2uwtFOrNaY5X7VndfqJ75wP5tMM2pKsOSLqmKM-CFqbw9nMAZI1vahm4ZUn0Q4x1wM5gdTlslA/s1600/brattykid_0003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="421" data-original-width="311" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx6MtowTeaafrpC6HFMfn-x4-wJ7iiUMudWeky80Zxff-Abv8QL0qQIE-FSuwXJTEO2uwtFOrNaY5X7VndfqJ75wP5tMM2pKsOSLqmKM-CFqbw9nMAZI1vahm4ZUn0Q4x1wM5gdTlslA/s320/brattykid_0003.jpg" width="236" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yuck.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
There's lots of people out there dangerously preoccupied with various things. Not all of them are criminals of course, but some of them are a mere gentle shove from becoming such. We monitor many of these folks for the sake of nipping potential problems in the bud, so to speak.<br />
<br />
Such as...<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>LUDWIG VON DUCK</b></div>
This guy wants to turn himself into a duck. Nothing wrong with that, I guess. Ducks are nice. He started out like this...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLlT8kVqETKLDDig80OGTl5YT8i9ZhklVjU_5bBzWPX8g4at48zMjtY3O1jYLZ1lkIgeRrHZJde6u7w2lgFSc1m7hvbGbHH7dAXZS7Eb6TX4TELg4UUPNyJzsbjjiGnOhtYf7joYElGA/s1600/Bad-Mugshot-Rubber-Duck.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="610" data-original-width="376" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLlT8kVqETKLDDig80OGTl5YT8i9ZhklVjU_5bBzWPX8g4at48zMjtY3O1jYLZ1lkIgeRrHZJde6u7w2lgFSc1m7hvbGbHH7dAXZS7Eb6TX4TELg4UUPNyJzsbjjiGnOhtYf7joYElGA/s320/Bad-Mugshot-Rubber-Duck.jpg" width="197" /></a></div>
But recently has taken it to an extreme...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA8NZketel3nxrkG-59h16OMwBW7yJAeFgJLz9mADN0yOKHcUUdyNZnnPfnMVD1Pyl4ybvvgM7rDgWUyuqsjCAK76zWntmg-_DqdETlT2j6sW5Jm5AtEefq-QBkeZy341jJqb2TVKfmQ/s1600/duckhead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="251" data-original-width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA8NZketel3nxrkG-59h16OMwBW7yJAeFgJLz9mADN0yOKHcUUdyNZnnPfnMVD1Pyl4ybvvgM7rDgWUyuqsjCAK76zWntmg-_DqdETlT2j6sW5Jm5AtEefq-QBkeZy341jJqb2TVKfmQ/s1600/duckhead.jpg" /></a></div>
Yeah, this is worth keeping at least one eye on.<br />
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<b>SHELLY BEENE</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirRa34bKQK2_qIxoWD5SoflAeeh8d0dVtroqYg4SR734cGKiVRGqQ4OtH0dO7u562JJS_NEnCfhk5t6abWmGgouELU37w_7UwDjl5V0e3-6TYt96-3v27ugcaRrvEeiiAturwHc1FpbQ/s1600/Shelly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1136" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirRa34bKQK2_qIxoWD5SoflAeeh8d0dVtroqYg4SR734cGKiVRGqQ4OtH0dO7u562JJS_NEnCfhk5t6abWmGgouELU37w_7UwDjl5V0e3-6TYt96-3v27ugcaRrvEeiiAturwHc1FpbQ/s320/Shelly.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
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This is Shelly and she loves jelly beans. "Love them?", she queries. "Anybody can love them. Everybody SHOULD love them. They're amazing. They're incredible! They're the best thing on earth. In fact, they're the only good thing about this godforsaken world. I want them. All of them. I want every jelly bean there is!"</div>
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You're kidding, right Shelly?<br />"Huh? Oh (heh heh) yeah, just...you know... kidding."<br />Mmm-hmm. We're watching you, Shelly.</div>
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<b>CAY and the KWALKERS</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieJgMiYp2rEyqtUTY6nvij9DtIDD2GB_pzu_hle48_-TDLs96URZNJ0XdenBllaWEL2rywpztw0BDYMoT8gtbpzCVgHbn8iUB4RDUd0zilvQbJYdAwVWJoAjAZIxd2sMz0GiEIb7vE7g/s1600/cke.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="432" data-original-width="700" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieJgMiYp2rEyqtUTY6nvij9DtIDD2GB_pzu_hle48_-TDLs96URZNJ0XdenBllaWEL2rywpztw0BDYMoT8gtbpzCVgHbn8iUB4RDUd0zilvQbJYdAwVWJoAjAZIxd2sMz0GiEIb7vE7g/s320/cke.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I can't say that we care for this kind of creepy capering about. "What's the problem", asks Cay on behalf of her little band of whatever-this-is doers. "Why, it's The Cakewalk! It's a prancing stage dance with a backward tilt. It's fun and good for your posture!" How is it good for your posture? You people look like human question marks. 10 minutes of this and anybody would be in lower lumbar agony. "Why, I never! How dare you imply that we're bitter about paying an exorbitant sum for the exsclusive rights to an antiquated form of dance that we hoped to turn into a retro fitness movement, but failed miserably, losing a fortune in the process!"</div>
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There are more just below the radar potential annoyance-providers that the fellas will tell you about later this week.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04886503955676399289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-76262110353194082202017-11-10T13:01:00.000+00:002017-11-10T17:04:30.487+00:00A Pretty Simple (g)Root Extraction<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4ZEdl6AvNprcLWRJ_Bnb47QtkJ-XUG3lNvUbZ795dXhXqGY_wdUKQtX2DES-sf6AXvrf0tuQ5kMmuV5IWeRLagq6zYyPjYaf56gbkOdeqm0ppVM57rYg4dLrpZgVvy5da5qXlZ2i2bWg/s1600/parshnipp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1173" data-original-width="706" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4ZEdl6AvNprcLWRJ_Bnb47QtkJ-XUG3lNvUbZ795dXhXqGY_wdUKQtX2DES-sf6AXvrf0tuQ5kMmuV5IWeRLagq6zYyPjYaf56gbkOdeqm0ppVM57rYg4dLrpZgVvy5da5qXlZ2i2bWg/s400/parshnipp.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Free but still captive, weighing our options on how we were going to deal with Günther Parsifal McParshnipp and realizing all around us were nothing but root vegetables to use as weapons, I considered what Jeff and Clark had thought and said previously:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"... trying turn the world into a root-veg-only buffet, well, that's fascism." Which is a little bit odd coming from Jeff, being he's a big potato aficionado. And, being a type of tuber which is a form of root vegetable, well ... The distress of being captured and the added excitement of McParshnipp's digs ("I was drooling over that kitchen, let me tell you! It had EVERYTHING!") was rather overwhelming. And our new foe <i>did</i> lean to the extreme.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Clark's summation was a little more pointed: "You know, maybe this guy isn't completely off base here. Misguided, sure. Overly ambitious, definitely. But the world could probably benefit from more rooted vegetables ..." I mean, who <i>couldn't</i> benefit from a better diet that included vegetables nowadays? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">The fact of the matter, however, was we were nabbed and confined by an adversary rooted in roots.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">What to do? What to do?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then it came to me <b><< <i>BOOM!</i> >></b> like a lightning bolt. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Guys, I have a plan. It's a little off-kilter but, being this McParshnipp guy is somewhat deluded<b><span style="color: red;">*</span></b> but I certain we can turn this root proclivity of his to our advantage." I detailed the plan to the guys. It was pretty simple but everyone need to be on board. "I noticed a Walmart not far away on our way here ..."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Finished detailing with the guys what I was about to do, I called out to McParshnipp's goons: "Get your boss. I need to talk to him." He came through the door a few minutes later.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Ach, what gives?" McParshnipp huffed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I need to run an errand ... with your permission, of course." I told him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He was naturally shocked at my request. "Nine, mein Herr! Are ya daft? If ya thin I'ma gonna let ya slip oute the compound, yav lost it, Jimmy ..."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Again with the 'Jimmy' ..." Clark noted.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Look" I reasoned "Clark and Jeff are still here. It's not like you don't have <i>any</i> hostages. And you can send as many of your goons with me you like. Plus ... I'll let you hold on to my driver's license. I know you know how hard it is to get those thing replaced ..." I opened my wallet and handed him my license.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Well now ..."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I'll be back lickety split. Promise."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He sighed heavily. "Ahll right, then. Off with ya ..."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was back in less time than I thought. McParshnipp and the guys were waiting in anticipation. "Here." I handed him a wrapped package.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Wot's this?" he asked.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Just open it." I looked at Clark and Jeff. Both of them exchanged smirks.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Ya wouldn' be foolish enough to hand meh uh bomb now, wouldja?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Just freakin' open it ..." I commanded.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He delicately ripped the paper of the package. He looked at his henchmen and they straightened to attention just in case. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">McParshnipp pulled out a stuffed Groot doll. You know ... Groot from Guardians Of The Galaxy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">McParshnipp looked confused. "What's this now?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Squeeze it." He did so.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I am Groot!" Groot stated. "I am Groot!" The look that came over adversary was classic, just as planned.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0ZHRv1Z_p6iEKykT7P3hEbRvtNMgGZbFkS4ZB-JYhp-8T3zPnBiXaGQJEYzitQHsZsH9F64KeG2c7tocmmzOtZciHrETxICMIEgoaiOeR9agpQFE1xh4Pt89PoZtSiGfBNU7aVv2ZHV0/s1600/Groot+doll.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="218" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0ZHRv1Z_p6iEKykT7P3hEbRvtNMgGZbFkS4ZB-JYhp-8T3zPnBiXaGQJEYzitQHsZsH9F64KeG2c7tocmmzOtZciHrETxICMIEgoaiOeR9agpQFE1xh4Pt89PoZtSiGfBNU7aVv2ZHV0/s400/Groot+doll.jpg" width="290" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Mein passion has changed! I love him ... !!!" he yelped to us. "Kommit here, mein little Root! Ya've gotta wee bit of odd accent ... but I love ya, ja!" Hugging the Groot doll, we couldn't help but be a bit embarrassed for the dude. But it was a means to an end ... the end of our captivity.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">He handed my license back to me, freed us, shook our hands profusely and continued going gaga over his new toy. He even promised to stop his (possible) nefarious ways and be nice.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Obviously, McParshnipp had been overtaken with joy by a kid's toy he mistakenly thought was named Root. It doesn't get any more poetic than that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><b><span style="color: red;">*</span></b>Note: And who of our rivals <i>aren't</i> deluded in some way?</span><br />
<br />Ruprechthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877547409686157948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-26248262195607336502017-11-08T12:00:00.000+00:002017-11-08T12:00:08.367+00:00Rooting out the truthSerious tactical error by Günther Parsifal McParshnipp, locking us in a cupboard. Did he really think we wouldn't be able to get out of there? Did he not realize that by not separating us that we would come up with a plan together? Of course we did both of those things almost immediately. Once we were free and before we sprung into action, I brought up a point to consider.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b>ME:</b> You know, maybe this guy isn't completely off base here. Misguided, sure. Overly ambitious, definitely. But the world could probably benefit from more rooted vegetables in our global diet. Corn and grapes in abundance!<br />
<b>JEFF:</b> Corn isn't a rooted vegetable.<br />
<b>MICHAEL:</b> And grapes aren't even a vegetable at all.</blockquote>
As frequently happens, they missed my point. And I didn't have time right then and there to explain how vegetables work, in that they grow on trees and trees have roots. So I just dropped it for the time being.<br />
<br />
Considering Günther Parsifal McParshnipp's fascination with rooted vegetables, it made sense that the nerve center of his operation would be in the cellar of the building we were in. Sure enough, it was. We knew we had to make our way down there and smash people and stuff. As we proceeded, we found things along the way that gave us insight into the mind with which we were dealing.<br />
In his book case...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyzVzR054HaLq7EDgSzQnDsccQzX16ynAhlWFMO1Z9dW9QpfA5DmcRYtrRAb98cUhmuev-NjRFUUe2du2ZGMDOwSUmWw2B2IWRCckBj0X2pKxCsYfz9xchKJ81gQ0CdncKGpruZWaGsQ/s1600/roots.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="466" data-original-width="318" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyzVzR054HaLq7EDgSzQnDsccQzX16ynAhlWFMO1Z9dW9QpfA5DmcRYtrRAb98cUhmuev-NjRFUUe2du2ZGMDOwSUmWw2B2IWRCckBj0X2pKxCsYfz9xchKJ81gQ0CdncKGpruZWaGsQ/s320/roots.jpg" width="218" /></a></div>
On his CD player...<br />
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On his 'fridge behind a magnet shaped like a carrot...<br />
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And of course, buckets and barrels and bins full of veggies...<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b>ME:</b> I bet he root, root, roots for the home team<br />
<b>JEFF:</b> Nice.<br />
<b>MICHAEL:</b> Good one.<br />
<b>ME:</b> Thanks!<br />
<b>JEFF:</b> But what is his home team? I can't think of any roots-based sports organizations<br />
<b>MICHAEL: </b>For that matter, where's his home? He's Scotch/German. How does that happen?<br />
<b>ME:</b> And who's Jimmy?<br />
<b>JEFF:</b> If I'm not mistaken, Haguelands Village (Burmarsh Romney Marsh Burmarsh, KEN TN29 0JR) is a farming community and <a href="http://www.haguelandsvillage.co.uk/">known for its alpacas</a>. It's located between Scotland and Germany. Maybe that's where he was born and raised.<br />
<b>MICHAEL: </b>By Jimmy, I believe you're correct! </blockquote>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3U6X-r8U-9WMSFkxVUJFj1wHlXqjGOsbDRgj79jmYL9VTrg3a2gkMBNQoKZjZAZwIJlrPvfvI3FwR_YamoAWxAR7JrtrPUbUWbJFmJP8Yad6dpeUjmhl8dO96fkaJKntszh1lwX-KZA/s1600/scotsgerm.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="465" data-original-width="559" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3U6X-r8U-9WMSFkxVUJFj1wHlXqjGOsbDRgj79jmYL9VTrg3a2gkMBNQoKZjZAZwIJlrPvfvI3FwR_YamoAWxAR7JrtrPUbUWbJFmJP8Yad6dpeUjmhl8dO96fkaJKntszh1lwX-KZA/s320/scotsgerm.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He was!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b>ME: </b>Do alpacas eat rooted vegetables?<br /><b>JEFF: </b>No, they're modified ruminants which means they chew cud like a cow or deer.<br /><b>MICHAEL:</b> They eat hay and grass.<br /><b>ME: </b>So, like grass... roots?</blockquote>
<br />
But would any of this newly-acquired info about the obsession driving our foe and his possible point of origin be of any use in bringing him to heel? Find out Friday!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04886503955676399289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-42898310775276466272017-11-07T12:53:00.000+00:002017-11-07T12:53:27.496+00:00The Root Of All Evil<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>One of the wonderful things that occurs from time to time when writing these adventures is that one or two of our past cases become declassified, allowing us to finally tell the story. Such is the case with this tale. What follows is the death-defying dossier on one Günther Parsifal McParshnipp, a Scots/German well-dressed gent and root-vegetable obsessed maniac.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAxEvJmWNmFzb5qRACZhi20V6Fv6Ep6nnizLYYq1h6CpWeioGqmDYM_kPTirwhgLa_gpT-HtFxvSx6Uuje1hqYLe9PW8J4HuiYunOkHcNIsSoV63Bly0wjjsKS6k-1C_5-UQrU1eV7PqY/s1600/parshnipp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><img border="0" data-original-height="1173" data-original-width="706" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAxEvJmWNmFzb5qRACZhi20V6Fv6Ep6nnizLYYq1h6CpWeioGqmDYM_kPTirwhgLa_gpT-HtFxvSx6Uuje1hqYLe9PW8J4HuiYunOkHcNIsSoV63Bly0wjjsKS6k-1C_5-UQrU1eV7PqY/s320/parshnipp.jpg" width="192" /></b></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>How did he gain our attention? Funny story, really. He, as you can see, was a somewhat well-to-do fellow with a reputation for being somewhat eccentric, no more, no less. The ladies swooned for him whenever and wherever he appeared - we know what that's like (Hello, ladies!). But that was the extent of our knowledge about the chap - as far as we could tell, he'd never had any run-ins with the law, aliases or other things that might cause concern. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>So one day, we received an invitation from him, quite out of the blue, to a social gathering he was hosting at his mountain retreat in glorious Humboldt, Iowa.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"But hang on a second, " I hear you cry, "Iowa is as flat as the proverbial really thin crêpe! There cannot be any mountains!"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>Oh, believe me - we thought the same thing, until we got there. We'd accepted the invitation more out of curiosity than anything. "If there's an Iowan mountain, boys, I gotta see it at least once before I die!" said Clark, and we concurred.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>As it turned out, you cannot see the mountain just by looking, as it is in fact, a <i>sunken</i> mountain. A prehistoric mountain that just got swallowed whole one day during some Paleolithic super-quake, and is preserved, complete, underground - peak and all. If someone were to dig up Humboldt Municipal Airport and remove all the dirt, you'd see it. (Please don't, though - it's a lovely little airport.)</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>When we arrived at the airport, one of McParshnipp's aides (I think his name was Smedley, but I can't swear to it) ushered us to a small door marked <i>BROOM CUPBOARD </i>and bade us enter. We ended up going down a tremendously long spiral staircase until we reached another door, cut into the solid rock.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>Inside was a palatial bachelor pad, elegantly designed and well-appointed. We were greeted by our host effusively.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Ach du Himmel, Der Unbelievables, you have kommt zu meine party, ja? Och aye, see you, Jimmy!"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Err... yeah. Nice place you have here," said Michael, then turning to me "Which one is Jimmy?".</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Come, have a drink! Scotch, or perhaps ein Bier, hein? You fellas must be a wee bit thirsty. Ein McEwan's Export do yiz?"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>Clark leaned in to me and whispered, "I can't understand a frickin' thing he's saying!"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Don't worry, boys," I replied, " he's veering wildly between Scottish and German - just follow my lead."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>We all accepted our tinnies of Export Ale and followed Günther into the main area where several guests, mainly lovely Teutonic and ginger-haired ladies, were already mingling. On the tables were dotted little bowls of snacks, which looked great, although quite unlike traditional party fare.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>Beet and Sweet Potato Chips...</b></span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>Lotus Fries...</b></span></td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXKUqQ8cytOCePS5va-sWhi-jxpZ8XF2Zrh9WFAu97XfqWNICUo7uQWJytjpKHFrC1DkEqjhx_mfVHw9tQi4aI5uljOUn9FKNZuGVPqMOP5Mv_bZ5xr4vO1DimNiFYaciguqCsvSY4T4k/s1600/parmbarwre.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="440" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXKUqQ8cytOCePS5va-sWhi-jxpZ8XF2Zrh9WFAu97XfqWNICUo7uQWJytjpKHFrC1DkEqjhx_mfVHw9tQi4aI5uljOUn9FKNZuGVPqMOP5Mv_bZ5xr4vO1DimNiFYaciguqCsvSY4T4k/s320/parmbarwre.jpg" width="320" /></b></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>and a parsnip, mushroom and barley thingy. </b></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>All of it was delicious, but as you can see, it all seemed to be made from root vegetables. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it just seemed... a little extreme.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"How're ye likin' the grub the noo, fellas?" our host enquired. "Pretty wunderbar, if I may say so myself!"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Yes, we were wondering actually..." began Michael, but McParshnipp cut him off.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Och, d'ye want tae ken aboot the root veggies, hein? Kommt mit mir und I will show you something verrry cool, ja?"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>We followed McParshnipp into his kitchen (I was drooling over that kitchen, let me tell you! It had EVERYTHING!) and he led us to a door at the back of the room. The door was marked STAFF ONLY and we were obliged to put on face masks and rubber gloves before entering.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>Inside was the biggest hydroponic greenhouse I'd ever seen. All he was growing was row upon row of root vegetables - carrots, turnips, swedes, potatoes, radishes, beets, the list goes on.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"I bet you are wonderink why I only have the root veg, eh Jimmy?"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"There he goes with that Jimmy again! What is that about?" hissed Clark.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"I am sorry, mein Herr - I was born aus Deutschland but spent a great deal of my youth on the back streets o' Glasgie, d'ye ken? So occasionally I slip intae the auld slang, ja? You understand."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>The guys gave me blank looks.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Mein passion is farming the vegetables - the root vegetables I am not being allergic to, so I grow only those. If I so much as look at a pea or piece of broccoli I swell up and become like, a big truffle-puff! Hahahahahaaaa!"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Weird."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Ja, and now that I have you Unbelievables here , I can put ze next part of meine Action-Plan into action, know what ah mean, jimmy?"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"No."</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>With that, we were bundled into another cupboard, tied and our mouths taped. Before he closed the door on us, Günther looked us in the eye and said, "You might as well take a nap, boys, because when you wake up, the world will only have root veg for breakfast, Mittagessen und dinner! HHAAAHAHAAA!", and within seconds, three more henchmen, armed with hypodermics, entered the cupboard and administered a sleeping drug to each of us.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>Now, I'm not averse to root vegetables, but trying turn the world into a root-veg-only buffet, well, that's fascism. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>I'll let the guys tell you what transpired once we awoke...</b></span>Jeff Hickmotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16024527446189594739noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-87641401484960332832017-11-03T12:00:00.000+00:002017-11-03T12:00:01.132+00:00Mail call for fall mail<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMhkzsH3YzD5swDp4lqUdnMpikGhLcVmTKtnqQI9Rutf4YK-Lj0h9PZrKpLxpoEcJq_2MLsaJOtKyXboAvFypE3mm_LOou-AHTR-2BetDXm-2No9E_hfFfPyQE9lPPMtA7cGDUavq1MA/s1600/Mailbag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1048" data-original-width="1543" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMhkzsH3YzD5swDp4lqUdnMpikGhLcVmTKtnqQI9Rutf4YK-Lj0h9PZrKpLxpoEcJq_2MLsaJOtKyXboAvFypE3mm_LOou-AHTR-2BetDXm-2No9E_hfFfPyQE9lPPMtA7cGDUavq1MA/s200/Mailbag.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Is this thing EVER empty??</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Most of the sheer mass of mailings we receive can be sorted into a few categories that pop up repeatedly:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Requests for advice</li>
<li>Idiotic questions</li>
<li>Threats (credible)</li>
<li>Threats (outlandish and impossible)</li>
<li>Fan mail</li>
<li>Nudies</li>
</ul>
<div>
Often, these letters qualify to be classified under multiple categories. For instance, most nude shots come from fans. While a naked picture from Henri Petit could be considered threatening.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTL0GojUXX6A9kssW3qSB7pBj0DkRCrHa59QGTwfLdXOHt1mDVIw1pg83ZXE5ZQbtz98V460xmd2xLGfCz2XhuqsW6KqSz8oUSxA6amPbf6h988VB-v4USBpVOZM1q_u0FWDzT2ZgVMA/s1600/petit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="481" data-original-width="450" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTL0GojUXX6A9kssW3qSB7pBj0DkRCrHa59QGTwfLdXOHt1mDVIw1pg83ZXE5ZQbtz98V460xmd2xLGfCz2XhuqsW6KqSz8oUSxA6amPbf6h988VB-v4USBpVOZM1q_u0FWDzT2ZgVMA/s320/petit.jpg" width="299" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't get any bright ideas, vile curtain climber</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
Another category that might merit its own slot is seasonal concerns. For some reason, this fall has brought forth a veritable deluge of autumn-centric inquiries. Like this one:</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b>"Dear Unbelievables,</b><b>Why do you lose your battle every year with whatever super villain that changes time and shortens days? It's great that you come back and defeat him (her? whomever) in the spring, but why not just win that battle when it happens? It's not like you can't prepare for it; it happens every year. Come on guys. Be proactive, not reactive. I'm sick of it. At least tell me what I should do to be able to deal with it. If you don't get a handle on this, I'm going to do something very, very bad. I don't know what or how I will do it, but it will be incredibly tragic!</b><b><br /></b><b>Sincerely,</b><b>Frustrated, Really Angry, Unbelievably Disappointed</b><b><br /></b><b>PS: Don't get me wrong. I'm a huge fan. Please see the enclosed photo. You're welcome."</b></blockquote>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbKIHoTLA5jmyo9yo_UbObHBz-LJAW55hj0rKTL3P5VHqIiMeQd-D7cx_MGvH-ZMuRA2GRpWZj9kzkHKMldCeahGqNFt0jtv1ik73xDZNPxVawsz-nkKJo6idoBu1TwstUFkRpdA25uQ/s1600/ks-art-kenny-naked-writer-sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbKIHoTLA5jmyo9yo_UbObHBz-LJAW55hj0rKTL3P5VHqIiMeQd-D7cx_MGvH-ZMuRA2GRpWZj9kzkHKMldCeahGqNFt0jtv1ik73xDZNPxVawsz-nkKJo6idoBu1TwstUFkRpdA25uQ/s1600/ks-art-kenny-naked-writer-sm.jpg" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Congratulations, F.R.A.U.D. You are the first person to send us a letter that qualifies for <i>every</i> category!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04886503955676399289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-37299192541785287452017-11-01T22:36:00.000+00:002017-11-01T22:36:15.184+00:00We Get (Autumnal) Letters<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>It's not often I get irritated by letters. Usually I'm a very patient man, the other guys will be quick to verify. But sometimes the quality of the letters we receive declines sharply.</b></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: courier new;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: courier new;">Here's a couple examples:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>Hey Unbelieva-lads, </b></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><b></b><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>Costume parties are a 'thing' this time of year. What's your best advice on home-made costumes? </b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><b></b><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>Francis Enstein</b></span><br />
<i><b><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Acme, LA</span></b></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b><br /></b></span></i>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><i>What?!</i> Didn't we cover that topic more than adequately a bunch of times before? Most recently a couple weeks ago? NEXT!</b></span><br />
<b><br /></b>
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>Hey Jeff, </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b>What are your favourite recipes for a fall party?</b></span></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Dr. De'Ath</span></b></div>
<div>
<i><b><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Tucumcari, NM</span></b></i></div>
<div>
<i><b><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></b></i></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Oh, do come on. This is old hat, surely.</b></span></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Dear Jeff,</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Any suggestions for cocktail recipes for an autumnal shindig?</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">D. Racula</span></b></div>
<div>
<i><b><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Isabel, ND</span></b></i></div>
<div>
<i><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b><br /></b></span></i></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><i>WELL! Now you're talking. </i>Here's a couple I've found to be winners at previous parties...</b></span></div>
<div>
<b><br /></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">PUMPKIN KISS SHOT</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Ingredients: </span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">1 oz. cream</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">1/2 oz. Pumpkin King Cordial</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">1 tsp. Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate mix</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Method:</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Pour the cream into a glass, then layer the Pumpkin King cordial on top. Add the hot chocolate mix and give it all a good stir. Some of the chocolate mix won't dissolve, but that makes for a cool effect with little bursts of chocolate in each sip.</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">BEST EVER MULLED SCRUMPY</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i>Ingredients</i><br />2 litres good-quality traditional hard cider <br />6 cloves <br />3-4 star anise <br />¼ nutmeg , finely grated into the pan <br />1 cinnamon stick <br />1 vanilla pod , halved <br />1 orange , juice of <br />2 clementines, juice of <br />1 pomegranate, juice and seeds of <br />4–5 tablespoons caster sugar </span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<i><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Method</span></b></i></div>
<div>
<i><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></b></i></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Pour the cider into a large pan on a low heat and let it warm through for a few minutes. Add all the spices and juices and turn the heat up. Once boiling, turn down to a simmer and leave to tick away for 5–8 minutes. <br />As everything infuses you’ll get delicious layers of flavour. Taste it and add sugar as you like. You don’t want it sweet; you just want the sugar to join the spices in a harmonious taste. When you’re happy with the flavours, ladle into glasses or mugs and serve warm.</span></b></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Hi Guys, </b></span></div>
<div>
<b><br /></b></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>How do you like my koala costume?</b></span></div>
<div>
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTjjGvWPAl_ALMsxaKe1RNhMAoJCgzxZt_wSodMwzdQBrSQOTiB8NaFa99JyG3zc3yX6_CiksyU6Au3kCWdRcpQXMm79JIO0Iq7PxLHn6WOB6UBtSHC3HBWxzzR5fTPgVQBaropFee7Cs/s1600/koala.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTjjGvWPAl_ALMsxaKe1RNhMAoJCgzxZt_wSodMwzdQBrSQOTiB8NaFa99JyG3zc3yX6_CiksyU6Au3kCWdRcpQXMm79JIO0Iq7PxLHn6WOB6UBtSHC3HBWxzzR5fTPgVQBaropFee7Cs/s320/koala.jpg" width="240" /></b></span></a></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Wolff Manne</b></span></div>
<div>
<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Mashpee, MA</b></span></i></div>
<div>
<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span></i></div>
<div>
<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span></i></div>
<div>
<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span></i></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>That's it. I'm out.</b></span></div>
<div>
<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span></i></div>
<div>
<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span></i></div>
<div>
<b><br /></b></div>
<div>
<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span></i></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><i></i><i></i><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span><b></b><br /></span>Jeff Hickmotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16024527446189594739noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-1346634958476518552017-10-30T10:01:00.000+00:002017-10-30T10:01:01.176+00:00The Old Mailbag Once Again<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwzXAvcNGqWrjlIeTOc0noB7X-y-C0k9l2eFErHVMUwkcwuB2Ex-ORVg9xafkYUb2Yo4ZsC7exPROtrAwSamOPLvWT9qzogCIwH_5M-3lqewh-E3rO4cKAHmfUPzkUxtqu71ZqTGc16C8/s1600/mailbag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="800" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwzXAvcNGqWrjlIeTOc0noB7X-y-C0k9l2eFErHVMUwkcwuB2Ex-ORVg9xafkYUb2Yo4ZsC7exPROtrAwSamOPLvWT9qzogCIwH_5M-3lqewh-E3rO4cKAHmfUPzkUxtqu71ZqTGc16C8/s400/mailbag.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Letters, we get letters ...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Hey, Unbelievables:</i></b></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Will you be performing any "tricks" for any trick or treaters that come your way All Hallow's Eve?</i></b></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i></i></b></span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Jimbo</i></b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yes. Of course. That's what Halloween is all about, not just handing out candy and goodies to all the little demons and princess that come knocking at our door.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhue6XyAcEsHA5KQhw82xjN9NtJls6FvYPuCbq0xD5sxupcfxKWD8pxCwBRw4lBlesniT_ggXwa8RfQEv5E8Io5vzT1Aqer8e2D06Ssf3icE99AvpJ4KYPhdwbgdK8jo4ncw81xFqPMlSo/s1600/Halloween-Treats-thumbnail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="540" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhue6XyAcEsHA5KQhw82xjN9NtJls6FvYPuCbq0xD5sxupcfxKWD8pxCwBRw4lBlesniT_ggXwa8RfQEv5E8Io5vzT1Aqer8e2D06Ssf3icE99AvpJ4KYPhdwbgdK8jo4ncw81xFqPMlSo/s400/Halloween-Treats-thumbnail.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Treats ...</i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJWPO-5w4HmS8QV6IHxG_bxzuFOg_fhgYvgJXGjPuSAMzCfw0UY2YwdW99EP-CCA4TJgfiDBC4OwYADS_2d9QyGatO98Ezgrd_c485Bej8_QIYwaYpWQHcrVzOtso_s-R88fCztkkHn9M/s1600/31OPMFMprWL._SL500_AC_SS350_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="350" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJWPO-5w4HmS8QV6IHxG_bxzuFOg_fhgYvgJXGjPuSAMzCfw0UY2YwdW99EP-CCA4TJgfiDBC4OwYADS_2d9QyGatO98Ezgrd_c485Bej8_QIYwaYpWQHcrVzOtso_s-R88fCztkkHn9M/s400/31OPMFMprWL._SL500_AC_SS350_.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>... and possible "tricks" ...</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Dear Unbelievables:</i></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>What's the number one thing you guys will be handing out this Halloween? </i></b></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i></i></b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Inquiring minds and all that</i></b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Well, it just so happens we have a ton of <a href="http://the-unbelievables.blogspot.com/2017/08/the-unbelievable-girl-scout-cookie-caper.html" target="_blank">Girl Scout cookies</a> so ...</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAxtXj1ji_fLUZjE6g3oS9zQ-efx_cQhYCA7sluEOCUw09-6s4HxbEe7rWN84rAFj9wUZ2QTpYTb5MpsbGKGG91qtHSWNBC9-_4HrQn_kMPLHebIKtBXMrQ3RohaRrVY4KrYEQmFsTwoc/s1600/Cases.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="600" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAxtXj1ji_fLUZjE6g3oS9zQ-efx_cQhYCA7sluEOCUw09-6s4HxbEe7rWN84rAFj9wUZ2QTpYTb5MpsbGKGG91qtHSWNBC9-_4HrQn_kMPLHebIKtBXMrQ3RohaRrVY4KrYEQmFsTwoc/s400/Cases.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Yeah ... we have "a few" left ...</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>You Unbelievables ...</i></b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>You're downright kooky, you know it? </i></b></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>You <u>really</u> expect us to believe guys like you have nothing better to do than sit around on Halloween night and answer the door and hand out stuff to kids? I thought you three </i></b></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>were suave men about town? Kinda sounds like catering to common trick or treaters is something way, way beneath you.</i></b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Signed, "Unbelievable" In His Own Way</i></b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hey, Unbelievable-Wannabee, here's a news flash for you: Yes, we're suave men about town. But you forgot snappy dressers, crime-fighting experts and, most importantly, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">upstanding citizens. It falls on us to set good examples in the community ... and what better way to do that by contributing to the spirit of Halloween? What are you, a </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">communist?!?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Dear Guys:</i></b></span></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><b><i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Creepy movies are "a thing" this time of year. But I'm afraid of them. They give me nightmares and keep me up at night. But it's all my friends want to do as the end of the month </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">draws nearer. Any suggestions?</span></span></i></b></blockquote>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: large;">Thanks! Signed "Fearful"</span></i></b></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yeah ... grow a pair. Or we'll send the Boogie Man your way. Seriously.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhklU3eSUqKa0rDI8IqrbYV_hnS8vsQeG9_4gPYMgU1Hnykdv_WDsxeiQVno4FV5WcTvD-to-oWlvCQQMO4dEBtH_2icWQ38Ep2N3nWAoPLneUTZc0IZefaLMGhVgi-gkGS9ULH2tstiiY/s1600/boogie-man.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="960" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhklU3eSUqKa0rDI8IqrbYV_hnS8vsQeG9_4gPYMgU1Hnykdv_WDsxeiQVno4FV5WcTvD-to-oWlvCQQMO4dEBtH_2icWQ38Ep2N3nWAoPLneUTZc0IZefaLMGhVgi-gkGS9ULH2tstiiY/s400/boogie-man.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>"Fearful" will recognize this guy when he sees him.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jeff and Clark have more responses to (sometimes questionable) queries from the general public that might be related to Day Of The Dead Celebrations, Thanksgiving or what </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">have you. I don't open their mail so I wouldn't know. Just stay tuned ...</span><br />
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<br />Ruprechthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877547409686157948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-6942543728079308852017-10-27T20:41:00.001+01:002017-10-27T20:41:44.801+01:00Playing By The Rules, With Odd-Shaped Balls<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Well, the guys have expounded at length regarding the game of Unbelievaball. In fact, they've said so much about the game and how it should be played in a gentlemanly rather than violent fashion, how there are three teams rather than two, and generally every other aspect save how the game is played. Yes, the rules. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>The rules are fiendishly simple, yet simply fiendish.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>As you know, there are three teams of three. Let me use a simple diagram to illustrate the layout of said game.</b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBnCWs18DVXgaWFwFZyntBWkIG5sCQVyDUEB1cvHhyphenhyphenHWE_3ofL6ku3_jimMK9mGf53-cWBVOrqzyDBFQK5t-R9Vel5tcldeh0mxdkR_rQOPdJ560T51znxIARDVnI_bE652uCRZC-265E/s1600/unbelievaball.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><img border="0" data-original-height="451" data-original-width="862" height="334" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBnCWs18DVXgaWFwFZyntBWkIG5sCQVyDUEB1cvHhyphenhyphenHWE_3ofL6ku3_jimMK9mGf53-cWBVOrqzyDBFQK5t-R9Vel5tcldeh0mxdkR_rQOPdJ560T51znxIARDVnI_bE652uCRZC-265E/s640/unbelievaball.jpg" width="640" /></b></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>As you may expect, in a game with three teams, there are three sides to the pitch. In the center of the pitch is a large circular "goal", itself divided into three sections. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>The players stand as illustrated - two at either end of the "home line" and the third defending their section of the goal.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>The ball itself is deliberately odd-shaped.</b></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZQVJp6W58emkomsjrq4S0wfatFSEmbRmErzHBK-FvYZ7i1MgYywEponffM1O-LhUF91wIFavj2rejvfGSbHCdc-TELooxHktbbfFSn99MiUGv2pnkkqmnPOQ9TirZ1q56XeLELnEicH8/s1600/reaction_ball_red.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><img border="0" data-original-height="280" data-original-width="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZQVJp6W58emkomsjrq4S0wfatFSEmbRmErzHBK-FvYZ7i1MgYywEponffM1O-LhUF91wIFavj2rejvfGSbHCdc-TELooxHktbbfFSn99MiUGv2pnkkqmnPOQ9TirZ1q56XeLELnEicH8/s1600/reaction_ball_red.jpg" /></b></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>It may only be handled with the hands, head, chest, elbows, knees or groin. No kicking is allowed.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>GAME PLAY</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>As you might expect, the game has three periods which are called "thirds" (duh). Each third is thirteen minutes long.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>At the beginning of the game, the first shot is made by the team that wins a tournament of rock/paper/scissors. The first shot is made by the person on the left side of the "homeline".</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>The objective is to deposit the ball safely in one of your opponents' goal sections, scoring you one point. However, as game play progresses, if one team seems to have a larger-than-normal advantage in the scoring stakes, the other two teams may decide to 'gang up' on them and work together to block their shots. This is made all the more difficult as gameplay progresses, due largely to the requirement to take a drink after each goal is scored, as well as the fact that 'goalies' can only use the backs of their hands to deflect the ball. Also, goalies are expressly forbidden to knock the ball into the opposing goals themselves - only the two players on the "homeline" are allowed to score. If a goalie knocks it in, it is disallowed unless they accidentally score an 'own goal'.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Between each 'third', teams are required to down at least two cocktails before resuming gameplay. Also, players are required to rotate between thirds so that every player gets a turn in each position. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Also, trash talking is completely forbidden. Instead, withering sarcasm and dry wit are used.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>At the end of the third 'third', the winner is obviously the one with the most points, as long as they can still say 'rubber baby buggy bumpers' six times fast. In the event that they can't, the winner is the one who looks better in slacks.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>After the game, all players must strip off and head to the hot tub.</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Move aside, Quidditch.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span><b></b><b></b><br />Jeff Hickmotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16024527446189594739noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-81914726085714183742017-10-25T15:01:00.000+01:002017-10-25T16:20:53.284+01:00Unbelievaball Explained!<div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiBNUmIcGomhuUn8hDOZp_0N-kJhchBYGmqQAGqKrqxZAuDPGo0QvCgkcEyerbaowljkzhks5RGFyOvIajR8NPEQtWIX6_hUrmDicieDfE1VJwi_Ys1GbIXfK8UTmx_3VH8QpmnH-_NYo/s1600/The-Rules-590x387.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="387" data-original-width="590" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiBNUmIcGomhuUn8hDOZp_0N-kJhchBYGmqQAGqKrqxZAuDPGo0QvCgkcEyerbaowljkzhks5RGFyOvIajR8NPEQtWIX6_hUrmDicieDfE1VJwi_Ys1GbIXfK8UTmx_3VH8QpmnH-_NYo/s400/The-Rules-590x387.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b>"... I want to leave room for the guys to expound upon</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><b>the unique and exciting sport of UNBELIEVABALL ..."</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Clark <a href="http://the-unbelievables.blogspot.com/2017/10/unbelievaball.html" target="_blank">last post</a></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What you have to understand, first and foremost, is the fact UNBELIEVABALL has an important pre-game ritual to establish the boundaries of the particular game to be played. Of course cocktails are a necessary part of this ritual because any sport worthy of play demands a strict adherence to rules. And in order to stick to those rules you need to hash them out beforehand so everyone's on the same page when it comes to "go time." </span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">UNBELIEVABALL is no different in that regard. In fact it's rather unique as game play is different every time it's played. So, sitting down to chat about an upcoming game is not only civilized but a necessary part of the process. And what could be more civilized than working things out over a martini or a mai tai or two? Hashing out the necessaries is tantamount to professionalism in our book.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;">Just as important as the rules, though, is one odd item of note you may have picked up on: That we wear the same uniform as the Unbelieva-Babes who play alongside us. There are a couple reasons for this: 1) We're not afraid to show off what we have (if you know what I mean) and 2) the skimpy duds promote fair play without undue roughhousing. After all, there's not much in the way of padding in that apparel. (Well, that's not entirely true. The ladies have more "padding" than us. We gents have the natural muscle. So it's a win-win all around.) From the start you have to be a man of confidence in order to suit up for UNBELIEVABALL. It's not a game for wimps or those with weak constitutions or image issues.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;">Interestingly, it's a three-team contest with all teams on the field and jockeying for position at the same time. Needless to say you have to be on your toes at all times. Concentrate on one team too much and the other will capitalize on your folly. That right there is part of the uniqueness of </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;">UNBELIEVABALL - using the other teams as allies while, at the same time, realizing you have to keep them at bay from scoring on you. Not an easy task, let me tell you. This makes the game play intense, ultra-strategic and robust all at the same time.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;">Are there referees or umpires or officials involved? No. This is a game of gentlemanly-ship with clear-cut obedience to the rules put down and agreed to at the beginning of the contest. If you don't follow those rules chaos ensues. And the game isn't a free-for-all. It's a tournament of wills, a mental exercise in strategy and a challenge filled with intrigue. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;">Not only that but you have to present a positive image when you're around the Unbelieva-Babes. Their presence is key to playing a fair and valued contest. Hockey and football and the like are fine for the neanderthal set who thrive on the physical prowess of their respective activities; </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">UNBELIEVABALL requires more of a disciplined approach. It's a more satisfying competition than a mere test of brute strength.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">Lastly, there's the all-important post-game discussion where </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">Team Clark, Team Jeff and </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">Team Michael review the match and dissect what worked, what didn't and how fabulous the Unbelieva-Babes looked on the field of play. Naturally, post-game cocktails are essential here, too.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And there you have it - UNBELIEVABALL in a nutshell. A cultured, sophisticated sport ... with rockin' uniforms.</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtD1pcsZjeQC6Nbjrx09BhYZCi-NE7FxSuGhuErII27Ctvwz2lNQcvhGaAwpE8pSTHzK464iKrn9eIYaMFZ8WIscH2Hsdokq6XrG3rIJnJWhRrMP00HbbW46AeUDOR0GmRTGtvCaFYb5Y/s1600/42d328f2970e0c09c3cbb95da83d3fd9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="413" data-original-width="550" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtD1pcsZjeQC6Nbjrx09BhYZCi-NE7FxSuGhuErII27Ctvwz2lNQcvhGaAwpE8pSTHzK464iKrn9eIYaMFZ8WIscH2Hsdokq6XrG3rIJnJWhRrMP00HbbW46AeUDOR0GmRTGtvCaFYb5Y/s400/42d328f2970e0c09c3cbb95da83d3fd9.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But wait. I didn't really detail the actual rules of UNBELIEVABALL, did I? And that's because there are better, more capable men then me who can convey such detail-oriented explanation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And one of those men just might be named Jeff ...</span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;"><br /></span>Ruprechthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877547409686157948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-57720669475906357842017-10-23T12:00:00.000+01:002017-10-23T12:00:30.465+01:00UnbelievaBall!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWJtB87BKT8iHN143sD0MFSfcxrccffhJzvlzs1rUnebYN7AWyfzdgk929DHAfyeFhri4x6W5i3IanMsIlXywtRLggqHse60dlFG7RUZyhuWoH1Bgad7mFewuV3EztvnMK-7ppqiTnHQ/s1600/pro-sports-logos-185x185.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="185" data-original-width="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWJtB87BKT8iHN143sD0MFSfcxrccffhJzvlzs1rUnebYN7AWyfzdgk929DHAfyeFhri4x6W5i3IanMsIlXywtRLggqHse60dlFG7RUZyhuWoH1Bgad7mFewuV3EztvnMK-7ppqiTnHQ/s1600/pro-sports-logos-185x185.jpg" /></a></div>
Aside from Halloween and all the holiday madness that immediately follows that, this is also an interesting time of year in that all of the (North American) major sports leagues are in session at the same time.<br />
Baseball is winding down, (American) football is well into the meat of their season while hockey and basketball are just underway.<br />
<br />
These are all fine past-times and we enjoy them as much as anyone. Although, being the dashing men of action that we are, we find them all a bit... tame. So we invented our own sport, which we use to satisfy our competitive urges and stay in fine fit fighting form. We call it (of course) UNBELIEVABALL!<br />
<br />
It's a complex game with unique rules and scoring, but we'll try to explain as much as we can to you.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>THERE'S A BALL - Of course there's a ball. Any truly good sport (sorry, hockey) has a ball to throw, catch, hit, kick or fire from a weapon (as is the case with UNBELIEVABALL).</li>
<li>THERE ARE TEAMS - There are three of us and this is a three-sided game; most sports are Team A vs Team B. UNBELIEVABALL is Team Clark vs Team Micheal vs Team Jeff, all at the same time. As such, we draft members of the Unbelievababes to fill out our rosters.</li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUFpkczS_u2QrKIhNVFoeErx996zaxFwFFsow3AxmXiXyRPEvkhx0AXWHY0Yq8vEH3mX-lLzJTzOJY5lbyJvSDV40ePutbKIloE_XqU6Ec8-K_lE9WG7fiJuXOuNF96omEUfUrkXxvbg/s1600/s-l300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUFpkczS_u2QrKIhNVFoeErx996zaxFwFFsow3AxmXiXyRPEvkhx0AXWHY0Yq8vEH3mX-lLzJTzOJY5lbyJvSDV40ePutbKIloE_XqU6Ec8-K_lE9WG7fiJuXOuNF96omEUfUrkXxvbg/s1600/s-l300.jpg" /></a></div>
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<ul>
<li>THERE ARE UNIFORMS - And we're not sexist, so we wear the same ones.</li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmsmmkEgQytWR0-9UhkDv-tF7LXDGjpB2NqJU3qifj4FjCOaPajhjJgNE15qp9hyQNelOuQM8yHyK2hhCjmWawDnDFBam9Wv1nlTfExagr0PJxEW2BAjGvvShSWIjWrkc60rE7hwhnJw/s1600/unis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="157" data-original-width="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmsmmkEgQytWR0-9UhkDv-tF7LXDGjpB2NqJU3qifj4FjCOaPajhjJgNE15qp9hyQNelOuQM8yHyK2hhCjmWawDnDFBam9Wv1nlTfExagr0PJxEW2BAjGvvShSWIjWrkc60rE7hwhnJw/s1600/unis.jpg" /></a></div>
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<ul>
<li>THERE'S A PLAYING SURFACE - It's made of grass or wood or what have you and has lines painted on it.</li>
<li>THERE'S AN OBJECTIVE - The team that scores the most goal unit points wins.</li>
</ul>
<div>
I know this is all kind of vague, but I want to leave room for the guys to expound upon the unique and exciting sport of UNBELIEVABALL!!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04886503955676399289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-54472916825779103792017-10-20T15:01:00.000+01:002017-10-20T17:05:40.559+01:00Definite Halloween Rejects<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">You might ask (you might not):</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>"Hey, Unbelievables ... how <u>did</u> you come by the services of Hal Owen and Tom (B.) Stone for your Halloween costuming needs anyway?"</i></b></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Well, there's a bit of a story to that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">One September not so long ago the word was put out we were interviewing for consultants. (<u>Bonus</u>: We figured it would be a great way to weed out some of the wannabees who were hankering for a chance to become an Unbelievable, too - an ultra rarity in itself as our readers well know.) Of the hundreds of submissions we received, there were a few standouts, Hal and Tom being the out and out winners of course.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But there were even more jokesters and motorheads who thought their witty natures and "innovative thinking" might be their ticket to an office at the Unbelieva-Base.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Fat chance. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here are a few of those entries:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwDyzxjn4YNjbQmWbDbedk9nCT-k7ev_d_X1LIH9CXFzpgrxTbGo1ANL5n5cgooMmsnVbxGx-hP63mxtetDXKaqFXzaqk9MXtzfa-a8T6WPagwHlg5AwO98IUZrswjifPhyKxumxMgbmk/s1600/FB_IMG_1506609033525.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="588" data-original-width="588" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwDyzxjn4YNjbQmWbDbedk9nCT-k7ev_d_X1LIH9CXFzpgrxTbGo1ANL5n5cgooMmsnVbxGx-hP63mxtetDXKaqFXzaqk9MXtzfa-a8T6WPagwHlg5AwO98IUZrswjifPhyKxumxMgbmk/s400/FB_IMG_1506609033525.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One gal pushed producing current and past popular celebrities.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But Clark went down that path <a href="http://the-unbelievables.blogspot.com/2017/10/off-tops-of-our-heads-no.html" target="_blank">Wednesday</a>:</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No Hollywood studio executives of any kind.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Period.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1xZ8W1zW0RoZw6HWcFgU2-no4TdPJLwOkXuYCJCpSWZatisAAqUqi39wz1IdS1l1nPhkaayK59_W8ApU-XZCvQwRwr-adrNEnUf7mQlVW3wYlahgP3BCANmqTYCe1osM6CvMnt071d_A/s1600/FB_IMG_1507404219213.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="588" data-original-width="784" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1xZ8W1zW0RoZw6HWcFgU2-no4TdPJLwOkXuYCJCpSWZatisAAqUqi39wz1IdS1l1nPhkaayK59_W8ApU-XZCvQwRwr-adrNEnUf7mQlVW3wYlahgP3BCANmqTYCe1osM6CvMnt071d_A/s400/FB_IMG_1507404219213.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Someone suggested a dumpster. </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">uhmmmmmmmm ... no.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeuzSOs5tDQeHaMRvaVeaw_4rKpxzDBeerALroYUTid2SfKIYXcoTlXYkfgq3Y3i5WojEisufwxLHeNMsDPcWX92dRrIqR5zIrcHE48VqKh5arxJvRTjSlTNxXhhBfdyF8gakAYPIMxKc/s1600/FB_IMG_1508206025948.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="588" data-original-width="588" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeuzSOs5tDQeHaMRvaVeaw_4rKpxzDBeerALroYUTid2SfKIYXcoTlXYkfgq3Y3i5WojEisufwxLHeNMsDPcWX92dRrIqR5zIrcHE48VqKh5arxJvRTjSlTNxXhhBfdyF8gakAYPIMxKc/s400/FB_IMG_1508206025948.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Another thought we shouldn't go as anything,</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">just stay home and dole out treats and greet our fans.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(And offer some "comical" tricks to any wiseacres ...)</span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL7JgjF-y9tO5HpmH52owig4RJbCfSOyId5aseDLYkzRqAc_BaKNl_H_5-qqmg9DoiFfKCsIwdSrFbFqE2cvzW8QO5C3rrk-iCjSnSK9j2ARkQmlEERuFcwiEBglMNyxJo9mlt9WKTb98/s1600/IMG_20170927_175417736.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="588" data-original-width="1046" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL7JgjF-y9tO5HpmH52owig4RJbCfSOyId5aseDLYkzRqAc_BaKNl_H_5-qqmg9DoiFfKCsIwdSrFbFqE2cvzW8QO5C3rrk-iCjSnSK9j2ARkQmlEERuFcwiEBglMNyxJo9mlt9WKTb98/s400/IMG_20170927_175417736.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then there was that one Disney fan</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">who really wanted us to dress as props from the "It's A Small World" attraction ...</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggyd5cj5r-8r6c7osaLjP1IkVLrlOy07_1_Gr9LyJrvNFGTIVujQmQyFnpOFAskilfSTjVhbRAY_Otio7V4Ppv5zIEzkHege9LtwdSgPtl6c6ugWaJrMStQ6CW-oy6KzzqwXPNfnyN1sE/s1600/IMG_20171010_135520127.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="588" data-original-width="331" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggyd5cj5r-8r6c7osaLjP1IkVLrlOy07_1_Gr9LyJrvNFGTIVujQmQyFnpOFAskilfSTjVhbRAY_Otio7V4Ppv5zIEzkHege9LtwdSgPtl6c6ugWaJrMStQ6CW-oy6KzzqwXPNfnyN1sE/s400/IMG_20171010_135520127.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't even know why this would be a thing ...</span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0e3-L9OuCuqVWKFL-_887q6kWVN6fwTnwB75EZlDeuT_WtO3TNmy9xxY-Pq5hiX6guoKWtpSe9dJV1-33vYQ8qgh2yj8dzHlrXPwWyBN7yTU9ouBSfAJh75pZOzHZ841BcsljlSpdwHQ/s1600/IMG_20171011_230414.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="637" data-original-width="442" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0e3-L9OuCuqVWKFL-_887q6kWVN6fwTnwB75EZlDeuT_WtO3TNmy9xxY-Pq5hiX6guoKWtpSe9dJV1-33vYQ8qgh2yj8dzHlrXPwWyBN7yTU9ouBSfAJh75pZOzHZ841BcsljlSpdwHQ/s320/IMG_20171011_230414.jpg" width="222" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmA_fV7iHZFikZ7EnNr4U_SN1z9RQlaQSTRm7AgEyQqbZmE2a7IcvttgY5PJMmfKBdHHyFAFzY9HmTtSkm8elaFKailmb0aUjUo6HgguciIjZIJA2sUe8X9607F4Encc-xkDPiP_tdJbo/s1600/IMG_20171011_230446.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="588" data-original-width="420" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmA_fV7iHZFikZ7EnNr4U_SN1z9RQlaQSTRm7AgEyQqbZmE2a7IcvttgY5PJMmfKBdHHyFAFzY9HmTtSkm8elaFKailmb0aUjUo6HgguciIjZIJA2sUe8X9607F4Encc-xkDPiP_tdJbo/s320/IMG_20171011_230446.jpg" width="228" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjerzbl4U0-A_23EDldeSA6WAcjcrzw6myuQx6o3bzKIA0nHDAux9Px4AN5Set8M2oZYzn1GioDAgB4LRSg0K-KScpI2Lu_WOKPNCSy7-Jj1ac5D4969gAr-YJaQHFZ_m65UrnR_OS1oE8/s1600/IMG_20171011_230512.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="588" data-original-width="465" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjerzbl4U0-A_23EDldeSA6WAcjcrzw6myuQx6o3bzKIA0nHDAux9Px4AN5Set8M2oZYzn1GioDAgB4LRSg0K-KScpI2Lu_WOKPNCSy7-Jj1ac5D4969gAr-YJaQHFZ_m65UrnR_OS1oE8/s320/IMG_20171011_230512.jpg" width="253" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A small fry fan of ours offered these suggestions.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jeff could be "Ashley," "Natalie" for me and Clark as "Alyssa."</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We thanked the kid and convinced him in the end</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alyssa was a rather unconvincing, unrealistic interpretation of Clark.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(Though, truth be told, I was rather fond of Natalie ...)</span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgptAO9PJMRYk9Q7lvk8BtjzzaKO6gJBcT0XwBkYg024yZNHkizJGTF82gL7CsfPDjDkvMrUxdYqaxj1a5gV3e0x7Qc6Z6xDLWZcoPdOb8xt516uf_DNBFRbnsCkE2Cx1slyzWCQ9B01cc/s1600/IMG_20171019_172701_917.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="637" data-original-width="637" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgptAO9PJMRYk9Q7lvk8BtjzzaKO6gJBcT0XwBkYg024yZNHkizJGTF82gL7CsfPDjDkvMrUxdYqaxj1a5gV3e0x7Qc6Z6xDLWZcoPdOb8xt516uf_DNBFRbnsCkE2Cx1slyzWCQ9B01cc/s400/IMG_20171019_172701_917.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>An eyeless stuffed dog passed out after smoking cigarettes.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Really. This was a suggestion.</i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjscl6PIxrl3Fi29wHD4Kch0KwhKcqC3ZvcA_uS8nsubGk_MNEvJl0w93KAc86pct2T0-hMKRbuwvtOM2w9qXjCQ1EEcmf_Bn6aODGyk_oaYFuu-L2xMXaYFyrF2BzzDc70rNNNf-526H0/s1600/IMG_20170922_192825732.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="588" data-original-width="331" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjscl6PIxrl3Fi29wHD4Kch0KwhKcqC3ZvcA_uS8nsubGk_MNEvJl0w93KAc86pct2T0-hMKRbuwvtOM2w9qXjCQ1EEcmf_Bn6aODGyk_oaYFuu-L2xMXaYFyrF2BzzDc70rNNNf-526H0/s400/IMG_20170922_192825732.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Lasty, the pièce de résistance was this:</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Mayonnaise. Just mayonnaise.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't know ... you tell us: Why did we go with </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Hal Owen and Tom (B.) Stone in the end? And what were their submissions that inevitably got them the jobs*?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />*That tale might be fodder for entries later on ...</span></div>
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Ruprechthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877547409686157948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-74749399044306116992017-10-18T12:00:00.000+01:002017-10-18T12:00:12.655+01:00Off the tops of our heads: NO!Hal Owen and Tom (B.) Stone are the absolute best at what they do, so by definition they are beyond criticism and reproach.<br />
Still, we're The Unbelievables and there are some hot button topics we don't want to touch for obvious PR-based reasons. So before the two geniuses sit down and start throwing out suggestions, here are some concepts we can reject before they're even offered:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizsN4pAJUM3aOINLdBPl3wmSEOzXxTU8P_t4-hApkE7jiTyNMcZMbbsj8TS06TtXEUI_1EJzU9i_MKzmaZo1U7ZEXzr0av6CVHBmM-4eiPDRX0C-O8wSku2bLxR-3Zj-QY3iJOGBF5og/s1600/51cdbe7849ead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="258" data-original-width="460" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizsN4pAJUM3aOINLdBPl3wmSEOzXxTU8P_t4-hApkE7jiTyNMcZMbbsj8TS06TtXEUI_1EJzU9i_MKzmaZo1U7ZEXzr0av6CVHBmM-4eiPDRX0C-O8wSku2bLxR-3Zj-QY3iJOGBF5og/s320/51cdbe7849ead.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b>HOLLYWOOD STUDIO EXECUTIVES</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6zyrJa0XeU6NnZDSsJduVtJWHI_dm7BF2CqCz5BHj7RQp1QMy5ZcUj3lC50IVQ3jZeWOco2sGLLiD78HCYKDkew_mn3U8uA6sVEfVa8l-kq5oyfbEbrJA2cd-PclnilLg4vQTsFXB3g/s1600/tiki-torch-brosedited.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="468" data-original-width="619" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6zyrJa0XeU6NnZDSsJduVtJWHI_dm7BF2CqCz5BHj7RQp1QMy5ZcUj3lC50IVQ3jZeWOco2sGLLiD78HCYKDkew_mn3U8uA6sVEfVa8l-kq5oyfbEbrJA2cd-PclnilLg4vQTsFXB3g/s320/tiki-torch-brosedited.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b>PATIO ACCESSORY ENTHUSIASTS</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKKp8p9K8ZG0QHxszP_dIPAgZ_B0xXFevzUlK0hiIHyjP4crNz-MURBmeuoG9q9NdSYAAVgFHwXRjYoZuvA8gAQ5woBcHERGABRII51l_GMh1OYEH9n9GYcmNpBcJKFRDyztnzFtgMbA/s1600/stf%252Csmall%252C600x600-c%252C0%252C0%252C1000%252C1000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKKp8p9K8ZG0QHxszP_dIPAgZ_B0xXFevzUlK0hiIHyjP4crNz-MURBmeuoG9q9NdSYAAVgFHwXRjYoZuvA8gAQ5woBcHERGABRII51l_GMh1OYEH9n9GYcmNpBcJKFRDyztnzFtgMbA/s320/stf%252Csmall%252C600x600-c%252C0%252C0%252C1000%252C1000.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b>HURRICANE RELIEF SUPPLY DISTRIBUTORS</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsRuUSN2sMfPLe0_cDWt3v1-ucc8SZ2HQgS-zn1SOAcXWD-kitgkuVz5eN9UaqUow8VXWX4xLyjfkkL8JlccfDvKv57fdlE1ZrRfWgov3rYubFqNzM7_IOzWkpzq6ov8E3KgC4lQAjjQ/s1600/UtahNurseArrest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="430" data-original-width="970" height="141" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsRuUSN2sMfPLe0_cDWt3v1-ucc8SZ2HQgS-zn1SOAcXWD-kitgkuVz5eN9UaqUow8VXWX4xLyjfkkL8JlccfDvKv57fdlE1ZrRfWgov3rYubFqNzM7_IOzWkpzq6ov8E3KgC4lQAjjQ/s320/UtahNurseArrest.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b>UNIFORMED NURSE ESCORTS</b></div>
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There are probably a couple others, but maybe not. I'm sure whatever they come up with will be spectacular!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04886503955676399289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-51760625984361481052017-10-17T18:37:00.000+01:002017-10-17T18:37:54.135+01:00Ghoulish Costumiers<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>Well, it's getting close to that time of year when kids dress up strangely and roam the streets, knocking on doors and demanding candy dressed as witches, goblins and spooks. Bunch of small-minded little terrors. Doesn't anyone know how to do costumes properly anymore? </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>Of course we Unbelievables always have the greatest costumes for Halloween, largely due to our own unerring sense of style, but also ably assisted by our personal Halloween consultants. Yes, that's right - we can usually do it all by ourselves, but once in a Halloween blue moon, we get stuck in a rut. At a loss. Can't think of a decent costume to save our lives. That's what's happened this time - at least to me. So what do we do when we're all out of duds? Wide-eyed and threadsless? That's when we call our main men of scary couture, the inimitable Hal Owen...</b></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht14ELOV5RaBrQhvLkKM-m7Iu0SoutuDWOvlOtYwWlF92vBkOWUbS1W1j2gjzYUDhBKlBGYJhFJSot8yjubnM92_qojmlzzwWWxrytZgYt8UqgUXnyloPvFNrNbOCt3wUdNuJ84L4LhO0/s1600/jacko.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="852" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht14ELOV5RaBrQhvLkKM-m7Iu0SoutuDWOvlOtYwWlF92vBkOWUbS1W1j2gjzYUDhBKlBGYJhFJSot8yjubnM92_qojmlzzwWWxrytZgYt8UqgUXnyloPvFNrNbOCt3wUdNuJ84L4LhO0/s400/jacko.jpg" width="400" /></b></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>..and Tom Stone.</b></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR3qVF5nCEdsjws8ZxIkHNsolNmo7KcGT4NxyhMnibFv09b_g-w7ok2TlAyFLjCVUlsa29Ql2Z6mYkrPN5oOh6LWaiM8Z-BmoqCklIhpwDoaW41bFYHjOXdYQNabXjrQC5oIfJVqeGP2Q/s1600/hal+owen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><img border="0" data-original-height="718" data-original-width="1024" height="448" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR3qVF5nCEdsjws8ZxIkHNsolNmo7KcGT4NxyhMnibFv09b_g-w7ok2TlAyFLjCVUlsa29Ql2Z6mYkrPN5oOh6LWaiM8Z-BmoqCklIhpwDoaW41bFYHjOXdYQNabXjrQC5oIfJVqeGP2Q/s640/hal+owen.jpg" width="640" /></b></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>Yes - his middle initial is B.</b></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>As you can see, they have the Halloween look down pat. So rest assured, they know what they're doing. Here's a few examples of their classic spooky outfits...</b></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuJD9aiVQM05G3RhehjsM_sGM8SRAlVcYQ4ATHWj_5D_GYhTvs65_aCrat2G3muPH5FqYYmiulKXaMH3dF9X9mce3DVEG2-erG3KLX8pRGb2Dr3BzSTuT_h1KDmU0EEALiSRgxJiH2RFk/s1600/vintage-robots-kitchen-family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="586" data-original-width="550" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuJD9aiVQM05G3RhehjsM_sGM8SRAlVcYQ4ATHWj_5D_GYhTvs65_aCrat2G3muPH5FqYYmiulKXaMH3dF9X9mce3DVEG2-erG3KLX8pRGb2Dr3BzSTuT_h1KDmU0EEALiSRgxJiH2RFk/s400/vintage-robots-kitchen-family.jpg" width="375" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Children with robot heads - it's like something out of <i>Black Mirror.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhov6STARup-wGRDbgdosEwlTbkynuIYAnXcy015JOikMWSDMs9eALLEVqpDraz2JKjrNJRlL4K3o8sD-lqTvPgfWa7opfxwSXJpF4UgRhu0g3hEKgbmGJoLGLtoWEqTnNQc-qw7JFOX9Y/s1600/vintage-halloween-costumes-skeleton-horses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="482" data-original-width="640" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhov6STARup-wGRDbgdosEwlTbkynuIYAnXcy015JOikMWSDMs9eALLEVqpDraz2JKjrNJRlL4K3o8sD-lqTvPgfWa7opfxwSXJpF4UgRhu0g3hEKgbmGJoLGLtoWEqTnNQc-qw7JFOX9Y/s400/vintage-halloween-costumes-skeleton-horses.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Skeletons riding horse skeletons - what could be more terrifying?</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB-TPXTxLAPBCTREWqBN6M61BmBfR__Yc9pjE2uop7-9vhzszUONz2osWBZReCY7u3QcPMQ86yofSjl9Enb2pe4b6MPH5ScYEq7p1rkDRgTPs7Pdl548E4I22AUZbIW9G7DOQHyi3rHzo/s1600/vintage-halloween-costumes-masks-women.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="669" data-original-width="550" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB-TPXTxLAPBCTREWqBN6M61BmBfR__Yc9pjE2uop7-9vhzszUONz2osWBZReCY7u3QcPMQ86yofSjl9Enb2pe4b6MPH5ScYEq7p1rkDRgTPs7Pdl548E4I22AUZbIW9G7DOQHyi3rHzo/s400/vintage-halloween-costumes-masks-women.jpg" width="328" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A group of normal bystanders, you might think - but take a closer look and they look like victims of a nuclear accident.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHgvf-WTRLsYpzokmbewZD5V2vWFG_l7kmxMObgxZ2Kxgq_6qhkg2l1hnyvUeYdEgE0aUUWeUXfYff91NHSs_SxGN4RNYq8ZioLlYxj5R1kdhjFDUlmtouleNZo4miij0slChFFkJKzpM/s1600/funny-family-vintage-doll-costume.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="835" data-original-width="550" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHgvf-WTRLsYpzokmbewZD5V2vWFG_l7kmxMObgxZ2Kxgq_6qhkg2l1hnyvUeYdEgE0aUUWeUXfYff91NHSs_SxGN4RNYq8ZioLlYxj5R1kdhjFDUlmtouleNZo4miij0slChFFkJKzpM/s400/funny-family-vintage-doll-costume.jpg" width="262" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mom's doing some gardening, but WHAT THE AAAAARGHRUNFORYOURLIIIIFE!</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSKlTa2YqRGeSILtOEl_orn9fzjwDLDhR8_gLB12nLzyTADKccGQLqsv1YdgyXV7T9snrIlRk-62RIC1kipz7flznjyej0hbI7UU3LxDLmXgDNU9sGJ6ucfzhqopDIvAMZqhDVKH01LBA/s1600/funny-family-vintage-alien-costumes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="740" data-original-width="550" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSKlTa2YqRGeSILtOEl_orn9fzjwDLDhR8_gLB12nLzyTADKccGQLqsv1YdgyXV7T9snrIlRk-62RIC1kipz7flznjyej0hbI7UU3LxDLmXgDNU9sGJ6ucfzhqopDIvAMZqhDVKH01LBA/s1600/funny-family-vintage-alien-costumes.jpg" /></a></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_kDJVYqNPai8HUsxWVwu5a8ntABseduuAkgrxi1yOciOkkDgQHvqtckXa1VR4COPaHTQ4AMsZ3PKbWKl7n2ezO9ADtIPG3-wQqDWIn0PYIcdEeGCsJXJjq1iID8tWNULPu31dOEKJ2-Y/s1600/vintage-halloween-costumes-witch-hobo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="589" data-original-width="550" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_kDJVYqNPai8HUsxWVwu5a8ntABseduuAkgrxi1yOciOkkDgQHvqtckXa1VR4COPaHTQ4AMsZ3PKbWKl7n2ezO9ADtIPG3-wQqDWIn0PYIcdEeGCsJXJjq1iID8tWNULPu31dOEKJ2-Y/s400/vintage-halloween-costumes-witch-hobo.jpg" width="372" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Imagine Popeye in a clown suit, and a witch replete with broomstick and a little girl's body. Nightmarish.</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy2OSS-I0TEVanl4eaUtZg7BkEt66igVJGTC0EXgviqQb8XcJ3Sdkg0MY8GlUHf8edBzC12ZskjAnemXjPn_4eDRQHAzFKgRQpHRtPcdVMNqe7QsjcbilWNqEJUlA7vaddw0sY6a_i8Ts/s1600/Deep_Web_Imagens0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="942" data-original-width="600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy2OSS-I0TEVanl4eaUtZg7BkEt66igVJGTC0EXgviqQb8XcJ3Sdkg0MY8GlUHf8edBzC12ZskjAnemXjPn_4eDRQHAzFKgRQpHRtPcdVMNqe7QsjcbilWNqEJUlA7vaddw0sY6a_i8Ts/s1600/Deep_Web_Imagens0.jpg" /></a></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6ZbT7jQSDbFGumvKJRTOk29MJg4RMayoSYTesDylNUcOzK5jk8ems9KNGjmU4wrN7xc9k6RQHEOz8pAhMA1e1jooYzZeoNaYpEZpxKc7RtN9aGe1VoHVzGajEEaNafJ3M657hjtusotY/s1600/tom+stone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="361" data-original-width="642" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6ZbT7jQSDbFGumvKJRTOk29MJg4RMayoSYTesDylNUcOzK5jk8ems9KNGjmU4wrN7xc9k6RQHEOz8pAhMA1e1jooYzZeoNaYpEZpxKc7RtN9aGe1VoHVzGajEEaNafJ3M657hjtusotY/s400/tom+stone.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They were even responsible for the deathly appearance of late wrestling manager Paul Bearer.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>So - I wonder what ideas they're going to come up with this year for me and the boys?</b></span></div>
<br />Jeff Hickmotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16024527446189594739noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-36042618443259678092017-10-13T12:00:00.000+01:002017-10-13T12:00:26.599+01:00Better safety than sorry-tyHaving immediately dismissed the "threat" implied by Tony "Monobrow" McGee, the world's only New Jersey cockney, we resumed party planning. However, in spite of the absurdity of McGee's attempt at being ominous, I thought it might be a good idea to look at our safety measures. After all, it's not every day we open the UnbelievaBase to the hoi polloi. With that in mind, I assembled our Pre-Holiday Gala Event Security Planning Squad (or PHGESPS, which is easy to pronounce if you hold your nose and sneeze) for an inspection of the facility and a logistics review.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>SECURITY</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu4i5-eSyi-Bzpt_0nIvzX8NfKMu4c8pm_M68lSahJ5f-ccNOlfFuwHKauM7aYO8xl-xHaVQFygUR_DsHuUkJKy-wgeYi2r9IyzWFWmHUoa-XvASvSjVZd54gjI4nqgVzDNGA2RqC7jg/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="290" data-original-width="174" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu4i5-eSyi-Bzpt_0nIvzX8NfKMu4c8pm_M68lSahJ5f-ccNOlfFuwHKauM7aYO8xl-xHaVQFygUR_DsHuUkJKy-wgeYi2r9IyzWFWmHUoa-XvASvSjVZd54gjI4nqgVzDNGA2RqC7jg/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Duh. I shouldn't even have to mention this.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>FIRE SAFETY</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiebaMtVqlY7O8gX-toYtQ3rlgVdIyL6n1FpgwzGfNWIWngwfizgM98Nkl9GbV_diDIkU04oYkPPEaTKxhyphenhyphenIZugTZnkNo5o3zyRNlyISVve1ofERiWrLPsdLVEzkEphzmAsj8NAMZns1Q/s1600/552901_red_alt4_lg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="961" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiebaMtVqlY7O8gX-toYtQ3rlgVdIyL6n1FpgwzGfNWIWngwfizgM98Nkl9GbV_diDIkU04oYkPPEaTKxhyphenhyphenIZugTZnkNo5o3zyRNlyISVve1ofERiWrLPsdLVEzkEphzmAsj8NAMZns1Q/s320/552901_red_alt4_lg.jpg" width="192" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Can't have our guests burning up now, can we?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>COMMUNICATIONS</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4ZEIjsTjOPHHMbawEwhHME1Z8dhxWX4ffcmVc1bTPa6_JUdMmhrFPNnQYhFOgwd-luwS3k4Xpl7xVIL2vvJaGsqcIL99xUwKrXhf5WUQ-olqvFxldHC7I3RrIIaB0GVKgok_puMYoXg/s1600/1nyavf-l-610x610-jumpsuit-woman%252Bpolice-woman%252Bpolice%252Bhalloween-cop%252Bcostumes-woman%252Bhalloween-sexy%252Bcostumes-cute%252Bhalloween%252Bcostumes-costume%252Bideas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="610" data-original-width="427" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4ZEIjsTjOPHHMbawEwhHME1Z8dhxWX4ffcmVc1bTPa6_JUdMmhrFPNnQYhFOgwd-luwS3k4Xpl7xVIL2vvJaGsqcIL99xUwKrXhf5WUQ-olqvFxldHC7I3RrIIaB0GVKgok_puMYoXg/s320/1nyavf-l-610x610-jumpsuit-woman%252Bpolice-woman%252Bpolice%252Bhalloween-cop%252Bcostumes-woman%252Bhalloween-sexy%252Bcostumes-cute%252Bhalloween%252Bcostumes-costume%252Bideas.jpg" width="224" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Can you hear me now?" Yes. Yes, I can.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>FIRST AID</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQwYu9UibFHgVPrzfq4xsYASrmxf1_PhvcINF2REePTN4HEyt3X2i4uazwHdojiIb6_h_P91Uz6SbIFSvoYj5SIOVqfx9LxLe6wtk7uQw_vcTgYEZtxBaY7f1HIA_QVlhtzdOoTvWGLA/s1600/165-375-rl5860fixwh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="165" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQwYu9UibFHgVPrzfq4xsYASrmxf1_PhvcINF2REePTN4HEyt3X2i4uazwHdojiIb6_h_P91Uz6SbIFSvoYj5SIOVqfx9LxLe6wtk7uQw_vcTgYEZtxBaY7f1HIA_QVlhtzdOoTvWGLA/s320/165-375-rl5860fixwh.jpg" width="140" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
To your health!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>HOUSEKEEPING AND SANITATION</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPuV6dyMymf0noJ2NrUxnYFDvemKORUfRGJ-UVNe_opqLf7AuXSuKjYQXSiGoePUz9pmSQpliYz0rkB9iUtcOBD28kW8LQk56nbNQEqBpjyPMI8JDT42ONL5jxIM8eoFSVxi3M5QDuWA/s1600/P-42333_5-1000_1000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1369" data-original-width="1000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPuV6dyMymf0noJ2NrUxnYFDvemKORUfRGJ-UVNe_opqLf7AuXSuKjYQXSiGoePUz9pmSQpliYz0rkB9iUtcOBD28kW8LQk56nbNQEqBpjyPMI8JDT42ONL5jxIM8eoFSVxi3M5QDuWA/s320/P-42333_5-1000_1000.jpg" width="233" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Cleanliness is next to security, fire safety and basic first aid.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>SECURITY</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhifXcn1swI4Soy8PA63crh0PbtjGVPrWjIiLfeer1ODQqVthJBTn6hmmF6AdgTzf8JxY2TiWhtgMfQDVlYrMSEd-1NKgCmX8Y_dD0-kGSNFdX8sssH7T4RdzV6La5-MA8SlRprdFhdhQ/s1600/Free-Shipping-Black-font-b-Cop-b-font-font-b-Costume-b-font-Halloween-font-b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1170" data-original-width="650" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhifXcn1swI4Soy8PA63crh0PbtjGVPrWjIiLfeer1ODQqVthJBTn6hmmF6AdgTzf8JxY2TiWhtgMfQDVlYrMSEd-1NKgCmX8Y_dD0-kGSNFdX8sssH7T4RdzV6La5-MA8SlRprdFhdhQ/s320/Free-Shipping-Black-font-b-Cop-b-font-font-b-Costume-b-font-Halloween-font-b.jpg" width="177" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I already mentioned that? Oh well, you can never be too secure.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>NAVAL OPERATIONS</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXeZnYO1BlIHzSH2Joo2ao1klQje2WekzSCasHRrdTNxZkReShEjd7OprYQVZgtOFTtnuNfTZV_5S7G4azxeCZ0qt_9Q_Yne1W6XvHCrn_pyay3D7Q3ezmMDXHznhy8TbIJUVZCJR6EA/s1600/costume-sexy-jj1-4422sexypirateer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXeZnYO1BlIHzSH2Joo2ao1klQje2WekzSCasHRrdTNxZkReShEjd7OprYQVZgtOFTtnuNfTZV_5S7G4azxeCZ0qt_9Q_Yne1W6XvHCrn_pyay3D7Q3ezmMDXHznhy8TbIJUVZCJR6EA/s320/costume-sexy-jj1-4422sexypirateer.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We're nowhere near any water. Still, just to be sure...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>AIR SURVEILLANCE</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJgwW8HpsBk2MEWscSso98-3n-vHuBN74CE8NmFUUgj_HwLMs55kEh2p4j3E_E-cWXEqeTVLRv__3jlUXXTn8qSgIv2SR1G-7TZuMwR6oro_KS8D9UxtZjtLvBzPQZQ1DOANuYO1LL0w/s1600/download.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="290" data-original-width="174" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJgwW8HpsBk2MEWscSso98-3n-vHuBN74CE8NmFUUgj_HwLMs55kEh2p4j3E_E-cWXEqeTVLRv__3jlUXXTn8qSgIv2SR1G-7TZuMwR6oro_KS8D9UxtZjtLvBzPQZQ1DOANuYO1LL0w/s1600/download.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
An eye in the sky is worth two in the hand.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>ANIMAL CONTROL</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj1m9NwpV40UXmGEU3gdp83pZ8qXIGVJSx-MLwCFwOdMH9CTdCmgXAlhNzZPRISW6RnxGVLwIjWwUqDy3sKE-Kw-jJJkYguosR7xCLNSLutl9RXy6XqqQ2bVZOo8BbI2EGqhN-zKrciw/s1600/PHC1372PI_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="360" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj1m9NwpV40UXmGEU3gdp83pZ8qXIGVJSx-MLwCFwOdMH9CTdCmgXAlhNzZPRISW6RnxGVLwIjWwUqDy3sKE-Kw-jJJkYguosR7xCLNSLutl9RXy6XqqQ2bVZOo8BbI2EGqhN-zKrciw/s320/PHC1372PI_1.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nothing ruins a nice evening like a sudden infestation of rabid forest creatures.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>GENDER EQUALITY</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXOzUhqFEquTKYUApaeCTrI8lC4e9xU6UFXZsDIxAaVyuGBwnfGxEwEz2u12w-jpbmgNTzX3xWPTczkNmoAKokzDAfDOX7O38mZMeo72LUvdndwBo4Rgtmz6MXtN9vO_ukF1GxyT2kRw/s1600/gc1969__85346.1493838179.220.290.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="290" data-original-width="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXOzUhqFEquTKYUApaeCTrI8lC4e9xU6UFXZsDIxAaVyuGBwnfGxEwEz2u12w-jpbmgNTzX3xWPTczkNmoAKokzDAfDOX7O38mZMeo72LUvdndwBo4Rgtmz6MXtN9vO_ukF1GxyT2kRw/s1600/gc1969__85346.1493838179.220.290.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Not really a safety concern, but never let it be said that The Unbelievables are anything but inclusive.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>SCIENCE</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF0VQvRsynkNUoq02z01h1zJTZ-wJiHK69IuLKpIhPj82bstSbjqSF6NWDG6CoUtG7dYF8lqnoUS7jsQC21zpfnvFQbysmpBmNto86picBB4c2PlVwARs1TsVw5YzegzfqzTLnfLkvOw/s1600/costume-fantasy-bbbb10-556515black.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="961" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF0VQvRsynkNUoq02z01h1zJTZ-wJiHK69IuLKpIhPj82bstSbjqSF6NWDG6CoUtG7dYF8lqnoUS7jsQC21zpfnvFQbysmpBmNto86picBB4c2PlVwARs1TsVw5YzegzfqzTLnfLkvOw/s320/costume-fantasy-bbbb10-556515black.jpg" width="192" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Rogue robots run a muck? Not at <i>this</i> soiree. Party on, Darth.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>THE OCCULT AND DARK ARTS</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7ojkMijIf-73p5brx8vNFXRQaiAOQV_-CNJ9__IaDe-IgMbvJFhqvDwCZwOS_GWaUUElNpu_p6VAIJTIKtgIHF4urLmL6O6Ne7BbLzeECFXW1CmOpPLMYCv7H676ADAIABhtwVxaMcw/s1600/b303b1557fd833610e03f8ef52366b01--witch-costume-adult-witch-costumes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="320" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7ojkMijIf-73p5brx8vNFXRQaiAOQV_-CNJ9__IaDe-IgMbvJFhqvDwCZwOS_GWaUUElNpu_p6VAIJTIKtgIHF4urLmL6O6Ne7BbLzeECFXW1CmOpPLMYCv7H676ADAIABhtwVxaMcw/s320/b303b1557fd833610e03f8ef52366b01--witch-costume-adult-witch-costumes.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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Is magic real? Probably not. Maybe. I don't know. Why chance it?</div>
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<b>SECURITY</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoKzDRTIcnEfdl3_roF-ZHtZkIxvg9dIHVRMFZzrGF49JrZMc4QcrHjAVu_qXGp6-reOA0nwl3PhPQ5hhZBZBh3VHkWQO5UbNg8EJtpRFDUAWHDHMI3ePhVoWnvjqhnU-iU8PkmyASjw/s1600/costume-sexy-ami-m-85302black.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="348" data-original-width="232" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoKzDRTIcnEfdl3_roF-ZHtZkIxvg9dIHVRMFZzrGF49JrZMc4QcrHjAVu_qXGp6-reOA0nwl3PhPQ5hhZBZBh3VHkWQO5UbNg8EJtpRFDUAWHDHMI3ePhVoWnvjqhnU-iU8PkmyASjw/s320/costume-sexy-ami-m-85302black.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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I may have mentioned this previously. Just making sure we have it covered, so to speak.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04886503955676399289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-81451946719434713382017-10-12T10:47:00.000+01:002017-10-12T10:47:40.144+01:00Jailbird's Warning<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>All we wanted to do was throw a wickedly spooky All Hallows Eve shindig to delight and entrance as well as entertain the good folks of Stiletto Flats (and a few special guests). Why anyone would want to stomp on our good time is beyond me, but like Michael said on Monday, there are always a few complainy-pantses out there who can find nothing better to do with their time than, well, complain.</b></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">But we certainly didn't expect it to be our adversaries. I mean, they are usually opposed to our actions as a matter of course, but Halloween? The night when spooky stuff is supposed to happen and all sorts of demons, sprites and goblins walk the earth looking for mischief to do? You'd have thought that a bunch of ne'er-do-wells and so-called 'master' criminals would fully embrace <i>that </i>scenario!</span></span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">We were busy doing our party-organising duties (making the VIP list, ordering supplies in bulk from Costco, music playlist, etc.)</span></span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Including this one, natch.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>...when wouldn't you know it, the phone rang. Kip the Mail Boy picked it up and from the next room we could all hear that whoever was on the other end of the line was <i>not </i>happy. Screaming down the phone is not a behavior that we regard highly, but that is what this person was doing. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>Kip transferred the call to the conference phone.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>I dipped my toe in the water first. "Er, hello? Unbelievables here, how may we assist you?"</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"NOW JUST YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU UNBELIEVABLE PLONKERS! JUST WHAT THE BLINKY O'STINKY ARE YOU GEEZERS PLAYING AT!?!"</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Rest assured, sir," said Clark, "we are not playing - we're rather busy at this moment in time. With whom do we have the dubious pleasure of conversing?"</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"'ERE, MUSH!" came back the voice. "I MAY NOT BE THAT CLEVER AN' ALL THAT, 'N THAT, BUT I KNOWS SARKY ASM WHEN I 'EARS IT, DUNNEYE? FUHGEDDABOUDIT, IT'S MCGEE."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"McGee? Again? But didn't we...? And aren't you...?" McGee was supposed to be in jail. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"YER, WHAT OF IT? LISSEN, I AIN'T GOT MUCH TIME. ME AND THE BOYS IS MIGHTY UPSET ABOUT NOT GETTIN' INVITES TO THI</b><b>S 'ERE PARTY. PRETZELS, BEER, THE WHOLE SCHMEER, BIM BAM BOLEO. YA KNAA'I MEAN?"</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>There was no mistaking that it was Tony "Monobrow" McGee, the world's only New Jersey cockney, on the other end. Clearly, he was ringing from jail, meaning that whatever had upset the man, he'd found out about it whilst in clink. Meaning it was something big.</b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxTz3VuQFtWyaF8IhtOxaTmeDNaEd8lDuGygUq5n_KRclpcyJn7HqUWJijo-YriSKvCCwx7NkxSQ0mAMBDHzZgoIhuMO3u4G4QeMOXRlZcrbNaLTOdqCRNvRmuXdbRt4EOWS1izIKqqvc/s1600/awful-mustaches-huge-bushy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="298" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxTz3VuQFtWyaF8IhtOxaTmeDNaEd8lDuGygUq5n_KRclpcyJn7HqUWJijo-YriSKvCCwx7NkxSQ0mAMBDHzZgoIhuMO3u4G4QeMOXRlZcrbNaLTOdqCRNvRmuXdbRt4EOWS1izIKqqvc/s320/awful-mustaches-huge-bushy.jpg" width="238" /></span></b></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b> "Forget it, McGee" said Michael. "No dice. Whatever the problem is, we are not, repeat not interested."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"OH YER?" he replied. "LISSEN UP, UNBELIEVABUBBLES. 'ALLOWEEN IS S'POSED TO BE A NIGHT FOR NOT-DO-GOOD PEOPLES LIKE ME AN' ME BOYS TO DO NOT-GOOD STUFF, NOT FOR YOU DO-GOODERERS TO 'AVE PARTIES. THE CRIMINIMINIMAL FRATERTERATERNITY ARE FROWNING ON THIS, AND WILL DO WOT EVER IT TAKES TO STOP IT. YOU 'AVE BIN WARNED. FUHGEDDABOUDIT.(Click)".</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>We sat for a brief moment in stunned silence, then looked at each other and grinned. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>Then we fell about laughing.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"BWAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAHAAAHAAAAA!!!"</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Tee-hee-heee!"</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Chortle!"</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Chuckle!</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>"Snicker..."</b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"Ha-ha."</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Then Clark said, "Quick question...."</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"Yes??" Michael and I asked in unison.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"Jack-O-Blast or Pumpkin King?"</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"BOTH!" we cried. "HAHAHAHAAAHAHAAHAHAHAAHA!!"</span></b></div>
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Jeff Hickmotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16024527446189594739noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-51232944847554960652017-10-09T14:01:00.000+01:002017-10-09T14:21:36.278+01:00Not Just Another Halloween Bash<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Several years back, someone got the bright idea <b>The Unbelievables</b> should throw a Halloween party. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It wasn't me. It wasn't Jeff. And it wasn't Clark. We have enough business to attend to as dashing, crime-fighting upkeepers of the tried and true.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">No ... it was the general public at large.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">John Q. Public, out there in Stiletto Flats somewhere, came along one day and asked "You know what? Why not have The Unbelievables host Stiletto Flats Halloween Bash this year?" The idea was bandied about, ended up growing legs and, suddenly, it was a town rallying cry resulting in an official invitation to us from the mayor of Stiletto Flats himself. He called us down to his office one afternoon, passed warm greetings all around and put the question to us:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"How 'bout it guys? Everyone knows your parties are legendary over there at the Unbelieva-Base. I hear past parties contained apple bobbing that's legendary! We think you guys would put together a terrific shindig!" he stated enthusiastically.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>We <u>might</u> know a trick or two about apple bobbing ...</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"What about the muckety-mucks who disagree with the term 'Halloween'?" Jeff wondered. "You know there's always a group out there who want to ruin all the fun for everyone ... turn it into a 'Harvest Festival' and quash the spooky element out of it."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Oh, don't worry about them. The whole town is up for this thing. The naysayers won't come near - they'll stay at home and want nothing to do with it. No trouble at all." The Mayor's words held water. Stiletto Flats is a pretty open and close-knit community with most folks on the same page. It's not without a few grumblers but what city isn't? And they do keep to themselves.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"We have free reign as to how we put it together?" Clark asked. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Yeah ... we had ideas how to throw this party ...</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Certainly! We'll provide whatever venue you like, tables, chairs and all that jazz and even assign you a crew of grunts to help you put everything together if you like. Maybe you could invite the weird guy AppleBobby, too!"</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtABxoalqOyls48ujYWhIq3fWj3nJufjSSKM42FLF8b8ybQCKRxBaYmTbobKRbTkroZnyIXowxvzrOrP-9GgjfQWzDdRsTFOj8ktmTU4btf7GdF1meZSS3YfwsZsNcRz-IOKTLDcakZaA/s1600/AppleBob.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtABxoalqOyls48ujYWhIq3fWj3nJufjSSKM42FLF8b8ybQCKRxBaYmTbobKRbTkroZnyIXowxvzrOrP-9GgjfQWzDdRsTFOj8ktmTU4btf7GdF1meZSS3YfwsZsNcRz-IOKTLDcakZaA/s1600/AppleBob.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><a href="http://the-unbelievables.blogspot.com/2015/10/halloween-saved-youre-welcome.html" target="_blank">AppleBob Appleby</a> you mean? Uhhhm ... probably not ...</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"We'll get back to you on him ... but <i>sold!</i>" I exclaimed looking at the guys for confirmation. "Just one thing: Halloween is on a weekday, school night and whatnot. Let's do it the Saturday prior. Good?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Terrific!" The Mayor agreed. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">We set out to make plans. Ideas were bandied about, preparations got underway and posters were printed up (courtesy of the Stiletto Flats Bugle), distributed and displayed. With The Unbelievables featured, the upcoming festival was the talk of the town.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">It turned out that didn't sit very well with some of our down-in-the-mouth foes of old once they got wind of it however. How could a simple good time party for the public at large get under someone's collar? But it did.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">And here's how <i>that</i> turned out ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Ruprechthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877547409686157948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-68253760618611747472017-10-06T18:11:00.000+01:002017-10-06T18:11:34.667+01:00Work Avoidance<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Well, it was supposed to be a return to something in the vicinity of sort of approaching nearly normal. Ish. Kinda. But then - what is normal anyway? In a world where millions are starving and dying from drinking filthy water,</span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMnhfx11qAdzeFPMWUITgAKMrYZ_4UScc_vRM8DOY486WoD89rx9nWK1RWeWXAAi4R8aXCYHBofS1RyRPH2k1UBracvcZSxfX4MSI8B9roG9YafusKh81Nn7Y0eR2A2iQGB-Z2D-DQr_k/s1600/6bcd4cfd6027a3fe19811e2bb2f0313685eab9c25093bf5e6c3389e5d8adc116.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="231" data-original-width="625" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMnhfx11qAdzeFPMWUITgAKMrYZ_4UScc_vRM8DOY486WoD89rx9nWK1RWeWXAAi4R8aXCYHBofS1RyRPH2k1UBracvcZSxfX4MSI8B9roG9YafusKh81Nn7Y0eR2A2iQGB-Z2D-DQr_k/s1600/6bcd4cfd6027a3fe19811e2bb2f0313685eab9c25093bf5e6c3389e5d8adc116.jpg" /></span></b></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> in a world where a seemingly mild-mannered ("it's always the quiet ones") accountant can stockpile dozens of semi-automatic weapons, hole up in a hotel in Vegas, spray bullets randomly onto concertgoers below and kill 58 people and wound over 500 others, in a world where a funny looking little chubby guy with a silly grin and even sillier haircut can test nuclear weapons and cause earthquakes and threaten the USA, pushing the world to the brink of nuclear war, </span></b></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqfqRFNVY_3PyrVci6oBVQB_kqjj338TALGEjHM_T-KHhRJYwadvusKNZw1enDmg6-jCwWALdyH9Q8ZIfkqE0AP9cI_MyopTVnRwWS-eU7y_ikulCuYtUlfw6pG-U3G4a7-qzwQWvZ8ME/s1600/Kim-Jong-Un-Memes-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="620" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqfqRFNVY_3PyrVci6oBVQB_kqjj338TALGEjHM_T-KHhRJYwadvusKNZw1enDmg6-jCwWALdyH9Q8ZIfkqE0AP9cI_MyopTVnRwWS-eU7y_ikulCuYtUlfw6pG-U3G4a7-qzwQWvZ8ME/s400/Kim-Jong-Un-Memes-1.jpg" width="400" /></span></b></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>in a world where the most powerful man in the world is an out-and-out racist property developer with a reality show and delusions of grandeur who fancies his own daughter,</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New;"><b></b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1712HaoOeLBtHmd8ma2zpKOUYYbBoJcb8OJ7dBTlFybPmWOBcVQOdO9Uooh7T2ZEdRxc45Crl8Zzb_QjFBLV-YHRLNC5SXMKmBoRQhaGg2EX-uJGwc2CVPMeKwQ_cokuMrrqoOzQ-cHI/s1600/Donald+Trump+Funny+Gallery+%25285%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="454" data-original-width="640" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1712HaoOeLBtHmd8ma2zpKOUYYbBoJcb8OJ7dBTlFybPmWOBcVQOdO9Uooh7T2ZEdRxc45Crl8Zzb_QjFBLV-YHRLNC5SXMKmBoRQhaGg2EX-uJGwc2CVPMeKwQ_cokuMrrqoOzQ-cHI/s320/Donald+Trump+Funny+Gallery+%25285%2529.jpg" width="320" /></span></b></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">in a world where a bloke who lives in the UK's brother dies and he finds himself suddenly in charge of Syria and a group of radical extremists made up of a raggle-taggle bunch of radicalised twits who like to blame the West for all their problems when in fact the biggest problem in the world is religious extremists can terrorise people all over the world with makeshift bombs and drive vans into crowds, </span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitZU2bc_2VcV678T1TX0Oe4ux-LLTMYy3G0AvsLcvP3ebl83SojSA2Mqarys3bWG57CVmOf6GLnZZQhMVPhncvBLXw1csHiDfeCjnqZ_VN77Hzs6iRv00eHPk0KqLftqOjJ7wA1DCQrbs/s1600/extremeists3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="430" data-original-width="500" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitZU2bc_2VcV678T1TX0Oe4ux-LLTMYy3G0AvsLcvP3ebl83SojSA2Mqarys3bWG57CVmOf6GLnZZQhMVPhncvBLXw1csHiDfeCjnqZ_VN77Hzs6iRv00eHPk0KqLftqOjJ7wA1DCQrbs/s320/extremeists3.png" width="320" /></span></b></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">in a world where people go on reality TV shows and then suddenly become famous purely for being famous -- in a world like that, what is normal?</span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b></b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>On a NORMAL week, one that begins with a post from Clark, as it did on Monday, one would have expected a Wednesday missive from Michael. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>However, that didn't happen. Now, there could be several reasons for this, since we know Michael is back from wherever it was he went last week. For example...</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b></b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span><br /></span></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">He could have temporary memory loss, affecting his ability to write (or spell)...</span></b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwZHgYT9R3j5Q46P5ilYEa7X-AU27W8jabnPuq8ujNHio67MH1VbEaqKyCeJ2iOu0nTVGWuACUCOonQVQjsphFHDUbBRihBt-5AueJq8eUoxR-P3Q02JdSC-WGXCX1ukzDyMlo64Rlzig/s1600/thMTD32VHX.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="161" data-original-width="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwZHgYT9R3j5Q46P5ilYEa7X-AU27W8jabnPuq8ujNHio67MH1VbEaqKyCeJ2iOu0nTVGWuACUCOonQVQjsphFHDUbBRihBt-5AueJq8eUoxR-P3Q02JdSC-WGXCX1ukzDyMlo64Rlzig/s1600/thMTD32VHX.jpg" /></span></b></a></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>He could have temporary paralysis of the wrist, affecting his ability to type ( or hold a pen)...</b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">He could have severe jet-lag, affecting his ability to get out of bed (or even sleep properly)...</span></b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKTj9KLACZBt9Ryp2DKDSHp4tuWmxROI1b8SUkeqZXu6NateLKQGE7IUWaw-475glYw5x1rVCyuUw3CFku_pK5pTGdU7Fq6uRI3cNOIBNlxeOUGDD6tm5X9RRDpqfw398I1jICCEY7knU/s1600/thQ8IX0C1R.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="160" data-original-width="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKTj9KLACZBt9Ryp2DKDSHp4tuWmxROI1b8SUkeqZXu6NateLKQGE7IUWaw-475glYw5x1rVCyuUw3CFku_pK5pTGdU7Fq6uRI3cNOIBNlxeOUGDD6tm5X9RRDpqfw398I1jICCEY7knU/s1600/thQ8IX0C1R.jpg" /></span></b></a></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>He could be burning the midnight oil writing a report on his findings from his mission and hence not have time to write a missive on this week's blog...</b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">He could have contracted some sort of tropical disease and be sleeping only fitfully, sweat-soaked and muttering weird oaths while having equally weird dreams...</span></b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpDdX2noQEfC8GDY0rTZDJUmW3TzGKMX48SLzYZsqYLO99znjR-K4epDT5pfAx-ADcriBTPUU1etdLo1F4A88xI3r6Dg945a5MWC4YEqk0yMBy243CMZaPtosB7jvY6AOAzVa8sPMdMqk/s1600/you-have-died-of-dysentery.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpDdX2noQEfC8GDY0rTZDJUmW3TzGKMX48SLzYZsqYLO99znjR-K4epDT5pfAx-ADcriBTPUU1etdLo1F4A88xI3r6Dg945a5MWC4YEqk0yMBy243CMZaPtosB7jvY6AOAzVa8sPMdMqk/s320/you-have-died-of-dysentery.jpg" width="320" /></span></b></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>We honestly can't say. We've not seen hide nor hair of him since his return. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b></b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>One thing I do know, though. He's back for sure, and if I know my buddy Michael, he'll be back to whatever passes for "normal" around here soon enough. It'll take more than jet-lag and a nasty case of the squitters to lay him low for too long. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Anyhoo, Clark alluded to some of our down-time activities on Monday, so I'll tell you about mine.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>I have three main leisure activities that I like to indulge in:</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b></b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"> MUSIC. I love nothing better than picking out one of my fave platters, slipping it on the ol' turntable and crooning along (or, if the music is more suitable for dancing, I grab the nearest Unbelievababe and we cut a rug). Here's one of my current fave spins.</span></b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIrRjkgntzajLFLejyZ73Z-tA1itRt_tLCY129ck7rgJ_RSdQBdiKLqrcvYl8_zMQnQmwPEv8wVpkSxrOrBttGglo4NQXTrOb7p1FnHR5S_oSuxnTKRQUMGkeDeD5b9iwgio2_8lpHG5Y/s1600/gepy-gepy-abum-cover-odd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIrRjkgntzajLFLejyZ73Z-tA1itRt_tLCY129ck7rgJ_RSdQBdiKLqrcvYl8_zMQnQmwPEv8wVpkSxrOrBttGglo4NQXTrOb7p1FnHR5S_oSuxnTKRQUMGkeDeD5b9iwgio2_8lpHG5Y/s320/gepy-gepy-abum-cover-odd.jpg" width="320" /></span></b></a></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">BOOKS. During a quiet moment, you can often find me with my nose buried in terrific tome, such as this one.</span></b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUwU5RBxUbC-jI7ThyphenhyphenEwgdAckVON5C-GiNA2sjryV_cFiVHw91ZT2MPCx_h-kd5u3JZTOnfUdF5252MZoChsySfunhLGNqfHWYphK1PgKRoB8vnFKhQJ63EHol_YZFPZi9WRjmioUNtn4/s1600/thISK07OL2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUwU5RBxUbC-jI7ThyphenhyphenEwgdAckVON5C-GiNA2sjryV_cFiVHw91ZT2MPCx_h-kd5u3JZTOnfUdF5252MZoChsySfunhLGNqfHWYphK1PgKRoB8vnFKhQJ63EHol_YZFPZi9WRjmioUNtn4/s1600/thISK07OL2.jpg" /></span></b></a></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">FOOD AND DRINK. Natch. There's nothing I find more therapeutic than getting 'in the zone' in the kitchen or behind the cocktail bar, whipping up Bloody Marys and whipped potatoes with equal aplomb.</span></b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGmaDNKuHLLfL25QJipDV_Iw2lWkP7nM4WVuPMBuBGS3YiqkBaJjSOvTa4rofaNJXKTNtti_Kdz6zCKZBiyapfcPIiohoTu-i6uTww5HYJQtzcIKBvEkZJIQR63RHP9M9ej2-QLlE8TfA/s1600/Bloody_Warhol_at_Art_bar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" data-original-height="327" data-original-width="232" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGmaDNKuHLLfL25QJipDV_Iw2lWkP7nM4WVuPMBuBGS3YiqkBaJjSOvTa4rofaNJXKTNtti_Kdz6zCKZBiyapfcPIiohoTu-i6uTww5HYJQtzcIKBvEkZJIQR63RHP9M9ej2-QLlE8TfA/s320/Bloody_Warhol_at_Art_bar.jpg" width="227" /></span></b></a></div>
</span></li>
</ol>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b>Perhaps when Michael wakes up, he'll grace these pages with his choices for leisure activities.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">He did? WHEN? Yesterday? Oh.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Sorry.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;">Forget I said anything.</span></b></div>
<b></b><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace;"></span><br />Jeff Hickmotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16024527446189594739noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-25726849108307206682017-10-05T15:01:00.000+01:002017-10-05T17:47:33.897+01:00Downtiming It<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9aqS_kxOK-XXHFXz4q9esSjRsjxO4G8MzHb7aGDZrmZB9t5IZP9a6hiHOVCpdpYP825Ji8EbMhgdgMn0rP14XX0B90Up8Qi1naElAMNwZYac7QukKvIKf7IzuxKK4iHbqrn8ucUSL1Ng/s1600/Relaxing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="960" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9aqS_kxOK-XXHFXz4q9esSjRsjxO4G8MzHb7aGDZrmZB9t5IZP9a6hiHOVCpdpYP825Ji8EbMhgdgMn0rP14XX0B90Up8Qi1naElAMNwZYac7QukKvIKf7IzuxKK4iHbqrn8ucUSL1Ng/s400/Relaxing.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>*yawn*</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yep, that downtime.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Time to relax. Re-energize. Embrace the slack. Cool down. Tune out. With nary a care in the world. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Because ... sometimes? You just need to unplug from the world and let it do its own thing without you. It will still be there when you get back.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Me? It just so happens I did some of that last week, in a manner of speaking. I took a much needed vacation. On my return, little did I know I would come back to a week's worth of downtime. Talk about the planets aligning ... !!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was so relaxed in fact while "downtiming" I didn't make time to post yesterday when I should have. That's how comfortable I am currently! (Yes, you may envy me.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">At any rate, you may wonder: How do I do at doing nothing? Not like Clark and his zen time, I'll tell you that. His languid ideas are too much work for me; all those<a href="http://the-unbelievables.blogspot.com/2017/10/a-return-to-abnormalcy-ish-ness.html" target="_blank"> jigsaw puzzles and stamp collecting</a>. Nope, not my bag.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is what I do ...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'll relax in the pool with an ice cold brewski ...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9aqS_kxOK-XXHFXz4q9esSjRsjxO4G8MzHb7aGDZrmZB9t5IZP9a6hiHOVCpdpYP825Ji8EbMhgdgMn0rP14XX0B90Up8Qi1naElAMNwZYac7QukKvIKf7IzuxKK4iHbqrn8ucUSL1Ng/s1600/Relaxing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="960" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9aqS_kxOK-XXHFXz4q9esSjRsjxO4G8MzHb7aGDZrmZB9t5IZP9a6hiHOVCpdpYP825Ji8EbMhgdgMn0rP14XX0B90Up8Qi1naElAMNwZYac7QukKvIKf7IzuxKK4iHbqrn8ucUSL1Ng/s400/Relaxing.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh ...</i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When that one has been quaffed leisurely-like, I'll call out to one of the Unbelieva-Babes for another ...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9aqS_kxOK-XXHFXz4q9esSjRsjxO4G8MzHb7aGDZrmZB9t5IZP9a6hiHOVCpdpYP825Ji8EbMhgdgMn0rP14XX0B90Up8Qi1naElAMNwZYac7QukKvIKf7IzuxKK4iHbqrn8ucUSL1Ng/s1600/Relaxing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="960" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9aqS_kxOK-XXHFXz4q9esSjRsjxO4G8MzHb7aGDZrmZB9t5IZP9a6hiHOVCpdpYP825Ji8EbMhgdgMn0rP14XX0B90Up8Qi1naElAMNwZYac7QukKvIKf7IzuxKK4iHbqrn8ucUSL1Ng/s400/Relaxing.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>It's a rough life. I'm just here to tackle it ...</i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Later, a third one will most likely be in order ...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg55OFcRlztsVEugFa7iHwlkPiLqGpePRR-LBfxEl13rWH_0CThw7OoYOZAfMX3RfddmfFS858bVa599IljiP3hNYzvc9dOakTXFvWN0pOGZ5JY73JhrI0af9f5iJO954V6lRx9P4YUGm4/s1600/Relaxing+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="960" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg55OFcRlztsVEugFa7iHwlkPiLqGpePRR-LBfxEl13rWH_0CThw7OoYOZAfMX3RfddmfFS858bVa599IljiP3hNYzvc9dOakTXFvWN0pOGZ5JY73JhrI0af9f5iJO954V6lRx9P4YUGm4/s400/Relaxing+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>*sip*</i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I might get motivated from all the relaxing to ask a question or two ...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'll probably wake up from snoozing in the pool to find yet another refreshing cold one has been placed in my hand ...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9aqS_kxOK-XXHFXz4q9esSjRsjxO4G8MzHb7aGDZrmZB9t5IZP9a6hiHOVCpdpYP825Ji8EbMhgdgMn0rP14XX0B90Up8Qi1naElAMNwZYac7QukKvIKf7IzuxKK4iHbqrn8ucUSL1Ng/s1600/Relaxing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="960" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9aqS_kxOK-XXHFXz4q9esSjRsjxO4G8MzHb7aGDZrmZB9t5IZP9a6hiHOVCpdpYP825Ji8EbMhgdgMn0rP14XX0B90Up8Qi1naElAMNwZYac7QukKvIKf7IzuxKK4iHbqrn8ucUSL1Ng/s400/Relaxing.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>You may be wondering wear the lime slice is.</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Those thoughtful Unbelieva-Babes take care of that prior to handing a beer over ...</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>*yawn*</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Downtiming: It's hard sometimes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Right about now you're wondering what Jeff's ideas on downtime consist of. You won't have long to wait ...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg55OFcRlztsVEugFa7iHwlkPiLqGpePRR-LBfxEl13rWH_0CThw7OoYOZAfMX3RfddmfFS858bVa599IljiP3hNYzvc9dOakTXFvWN0pOGZ5JY73JhrI0af9f5iJO954V6lRx9P4YUGm4/s1600/Relaxing+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="960" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg55OFcRlztsVEugFa7iHwlkPiLqGpePRR-LBfxEl13rWH_0CThw7OoYOZAfMX3RfddmfFS858bVa599IljiP3hNYzvc9dOakTXFvWN0pOGZ5JY73JhrI0af9f5iJO954V6lRx9P4YUGm4/s400/Relaxing+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>*yawn ... sip*</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
Ruprechthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00877547409686157948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-15750332644352875842017-10-02T12:00:00.000+01:002017-10-02T12:00:12.496+01:00A return to (ab)normalcy-ish-nessMichael is back and we don't have any major crisis to deal with, which means we can take a minute to catch our breath and re-set ourselves for whatever comes down the pipe next. This means we're actually getting a little downtime, which almost never happens. You already know about some of our hobbies and passions, but what about the ways we occupy ourselves when it's really quiet? I mean low-impact, relaxing pursuits. Waste of time? Perhaps. But sometimes that's a good idea. In our line of work, it doesn't come around often so we'd better enjoy it while it lasts.<br />
I'll let the guys talk about the activities that help them zen out later this week, but here are mine:<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>JIGSAW PUZZLES</b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQsjEYG3p4VXoM9QwZHSe2tIoO60wAAMIUKKtHmvUuDWeJXampzqnIhk5xI6ZP4jX3PDRMLq2Dgoj5awzRJOMqi1rKrQHOs46q3hyphenhyphenzs6bj8HahTQi4bWkJycs8KI7LUocttOLOJgLwlA/s1600/Jigsaw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQsjEYG3p4VXoM9QwZHSe2tIoO60wAAMIUKKtHmvUuDWeJXampzqnIhk5xI6ZP4jX3PDRMLq2Dgoj5awzRJOMqi1rKrQHOs46q3hyphenhyphenzs6bj8HahTQi4bWkJycs8KI7LUocttOLOJgLwlA/s1600/Jigsaw.jpg" /></a></div>
There's a low-stress sense of accomplishment when you put all the right pieces together to form an aesthetically pleasant image.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>STAMP COLLECTING</b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaSuwK-GriJNfsmaJRRsr_lnTc33ybsb5NDXepaXcoNuXIJd7W4q0P5ilrPRAbbZO0jkQm4nvYsEt8b2nv_Vuyvhjj8uvid49hdNyU2hjY5VmbjopzkxxO-wKcsS16MuAnLe5IEVToOg/s1600/STAMP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1300" data-original-width="967" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaSuwK-GriJNfsmaJRRsr_lnTc33ybsb5NDXepaXcoNuXIJd7W4q0P5ilrPRAbbZO0jkQm4nvYsEt8b2nv_Vuyvhjj8uvid49hdNyU2hjY5VmbjopzkxxO-wKcsS16MuAnLe5IEVToOg/s320/STAMP.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
Some countries really put some interesting artwork on their postage stamps. Each one is like a tiny miniature very small portrait.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>GARDENING</b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfQ_ehxOz5eQKHHl-PnrDPBF9tBssnjg28I4K9_NkOO2H1VbnnWw4ITr4qhBMUkh7SGYRsgevHoJT0C2xxN6Nvy7L7322rKA3aAIPJBsi2VRRzj33tVib_DViEoqE8eUr8f_DHSMSGiA/s1600/gardening.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="478" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfQ_ehxOz5eQKHHl-PnrDPBF9tBssnjg28I4K9_NkOO2H1VbnnWw4ITr4qhBMUkh7SGYRsgevHoJT0C2xxN6Nvy7L7322rKA3aAIPJBsi2VRRzj33tVib_DViEoqE8eUr8f_DHSMSGiA/s320/gardening.jpg" width="218" /></a></div>
I grow all the good vegetables in my garden. Green ones, red ones, orange ones. Are there orange vegetables? Of course there are. They're called oranges, duh.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>NATURE PHOTOGRAPHY</b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCxu_JJ9gwpq5v92ngl2GvkMTfDBaT5NawNS6kTBzRlsPIASPO2F0XbiAWRqc44g49_ChQsb9XB_54Lix6cyQlPvkEVVyW4SCNesS2u8fM-Up3SGYRQo8jFj2Ts6l3jEhR02kDC5whBQ/s1600/Sexy-fashion-lingerie-photographers-in-Los-Angeles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCxu_JJ9gwpq5v92ngl2GvkMTfDBaT5NawNS6kTBzRlsPIASPO2F0XbiAWRqc44g49_ChQsb9XB_54Lix6cyQlPvkEVVyW4SCNesS2u8fM-Up3SGYRQo8jFj2Ts6l3jEhR02kDC5whBQ/s320/Sexy-fashion-lingerie-photographers-in-Los-Angeles.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I don't actually take photos. When it comes to cameras, I couldn't tell you which end you put your eyeball on and which end sucks up the image. But I do enjoy nature photography in that I enjoy looking at nature photos. Equal parts serene and wild. Who wouldn't enjoy that?<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>MODEL RAILROADING</b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUuTpHzGP4O0XHdV1xdnviPYwCVVan_MtGjB9-0o7jrUWaWAUpq-l3GLgKc_mOfIFDIAGjdpK55RDQFX1Q13BAihBncGD9cOVxlpxuwyp6tv732nMv5VdDjJLgmhxd3rzVJbpeaSW_Bw/s1600/Railroad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="666" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUuTpHzGP4O0XHdV1xdnviPYwCVVan_MtGjB9-0o7jrUWaWAUpq-l3GLgKc_mOfIFDIAGjdpK55RDQFX1Q13BAihBncGD9cOVxlpxuwyp6tv732nMv5VdDjJLgmhxd3rzVJbpeaSW_Bw/s320/Railroad.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
Me like choo-choo trains.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04886503955676399289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3647702429761041312.post-58789655811840287172017-09-27T12:00:00.000+01:002017-09-27T12:00:22.175+01:00Where's Michael? Asking because I don't knowYou may have noticed that Michael didn't post on Monday. And you may have interpreted that as him being missing. That is both true and not so much.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPuWhKi8r2HrQQuZikhWmHTdtqVn_hy6947zOOpbOD3dcJFr4uR3pv1D1ITSORc6G8bpf5Rw_WFZbiHH6czjkzDkPx4UtKfkIhs9WbynvHm3X49ppw2S_R97scNwKJiS0ul1siHg54ZQ/s1600/IMG_6123.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPuWhKi8r2HrQQuZikhWmHTdtqVn_hy6947zOOpbOD3dcJFr4uR3pv1D1ITSORc6G8bpf5Rw_WFZbiHH6czjkzDkPx4UtKfkIhs9WbynvHm3X49ppw2S_R97scNwKJiS0ul1siHg54ZQ/s320/IMG_6123.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photographic proof of evidence that we were in one spot at the same time at some point.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
See, Michael and I were working on a top secret case and he snuck into a top secret crime hideout to do some top secret recon. I was supposed to pick him up after... but I forgot where I dropped him off. So he's where he's supposed to be (presumably) but I don't know where that is. Hence, not missing and missing.<br />
If anyone has any ideas where he might be, it might help. Here's what I remember:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>There's a castle, with parapets and everything</li>
<li>Lots of people</li>
<li>A serious rodent infestation</li>
<li>Curiously clean in spite of the rodents</li>
<li>Hot!</li>
<li>A whole bunch of presidents</li>
<li>Dwarfs</li>
<li>Talking animals that don't talk</li>
<li>Modes of transportation that Henri Petit would not be eligible to ride</li>
</ul>
<div>
Seems like I should know where this is.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04886503955676399289noreply@blogger.com1