Monday, September 18, 2017

Dumbing Down

Let's be reasonable, folks:

We can't do everything you ask. That's the long and the short of it. 

And that goes double when it's stupid stuff.

What do we mean? Here ... let me show you:

Dear Unbelievables:
My husband comes home in a couple hours and I don't know what to fix for dinner. Can you come over and whip something up for him?
In Anticipation, Dolores

No, Dolores ... we can't.

Dear Unbelievables:

I'm just too tired to take out the trash this week. They come Tuesday and Saturday. A little help over here would be appreciated.
Thanks! Marjorie

Uhm, nope.

Hey Unbelievables:

Seriously, Mickey D's needs to stay open past midnight. I have huge Big Mac attacks several nights a week. Work your magic and talk to those corporate boys for me. Thanks. 

I don't think so.


I have 12 kitty cats. I can't snuggle all of them at once but I bet, with a little help from a couple of you guys, you could satisfy their need for closeness. How about it?
Beverly (purr)

Not in this lifetime, Beverly

Dear Unbelievables:

The sun comes up way too early for me. Is there someone in your vast network of stooges and compatriots who might alter this daily grind?

Yes ... but he's busy next week.

See what we mean? Come on, people. You're not schlubbs and we're not at your beck and call for every whim and desire. (And let's face it - some of your whims and desires are questionable at best.) Life is hard, reality isn't always shiny and bright and full of promise and we have lives, too. It's not that we don't care. But ... sometimes? We don't. You've come this far, you can go a little further.

Post Note: You may have noticed Jeff didn't conclude last week's Back To School Top Tips theme. That's because he was busy with Best Man duties at a wedding, a most esteemed position in the grand scheme of wedding chores. There is not better man for the job of Best Man than our pal Jeff. So, you see? We do have things "just as important" as some of your requests. Remember that.

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