Monday, April 24, 2017

The U Files

Over the years, we've received more than our fair share of mail asking us to get involved in stuff that's, well, a little outside our remit. We're crimefighters, primarily. We solve cases and kick butts. That's our main function. But every now and again we are asked to deal with stuff that's more paranormal, supernatural and extraterrestrial, to quote Robert Stack. Ghosts, freaky goings-on, aliens, Martians, UFOs and the like.

Now, we've never had much time for this sort of mumbo-jumbo Arthur C. Clarke malarkey. In fact, we've often pooh-poohed it. We refuse to be drawn in. But now that it's come to light that Yvette Fielding and her camera crew from Ghost Hunters have actually filmed a credible ghostly shape after 15 years of trying, we are a bit less likely to pooh-pooh you.

Yvette on the left, ghostly shape on the right.

Also, since recent findings from NASA probes have shown that there are other planets and moons out there that likely capable of supporting life, we don't dismiss the idea of aliens so readily. Especially if they look like this.

Hello, alien ladies!

As a result, we've set up our own alien/paranormal hotline so that these sort of requests and queries can be dealt with properly. The hotline is manned 24/7 by Kip the Mail Boy and Ulf the Unbelievadog, and so far they have fielded quite a few questions. Here are a couple samples.

Dear Unbelievables, 
                  Here's a snap I shot out the window of a moving train somewhere between Tahlequah, OK and Humphrey, AR one Saturday morning between June and October a couple of years back. What do you make of it?

Sincerely, Willie Buggart, Bison, KS

Simply explained, Willie. Three professional mushroom hunters stumbling upon a world-record porcini.

Dear Unbelievable peeps,
       While visiting my parents in Los Bocas Vistas in Tampa I snapped this pic of their apartment complex. There appears to be something odd in the sky. What do you guys think?

Regards, Himmie Jendricks, Sugar City, ID

Nope, nothing odd there, apart from that floating sports stadium. Can you see it?
Hi Unbelievable fellas, 
    Recently while out dancing at my local nightclub I saw three freaky lookin' sexy girl aliens. Real or fake?

Best, Dirk Cruncher, Crank, St Helens, Lancashire, UK

Um... that's Lily Allen. Hello, Lily!

Sorry, but that's Nicki Minaj. Hello!

Heaven knows what that is.

Alright, folks, there'll be more from The U-Files on Wednesday. The truth is out there!


  1. A mountain range existing in Tampa is slightly odd...

    1. They're probably just really big hills ... trick of the eyes, camera angle, that sort of thing.

      Or ... another U-File ... ???!?!??