Monday, April 10, 2017

Time Once Again For Top Tips!

Yes ... it's been a while. Too long of a while as a matter of fact. And that's why it's time for another edition of ...

Top Tips!

Look: In today's turbulent times, sometimes action needs to be taken. Of course, discerning common sense rules overall. But there are those instances when immediate action takes presidence over seeing a wrong and frowning at it and actually acting upon it. Here are a few examples:

You're in a restaurant sitting next to someone who's talking loudly on their mobile phone. First, kindly ask them to cut the call short, that they're being rude and disruptive to the other patrons in the establishment, not the least of which is you. Use words like "please" and "thank you" to ease tensions. If that doesn't do the trick, simply extricate the phone from their ear and drop it into that glass of lemon water directly in front of them. More often than not this action will get their attention.

This rarely, if ever, fails ...

That customer behind you who doesn't know the meaning of personal space? This one's easy. Simply start taking baby steps backward until they get the message. Or flail your arms about with exaggerated flair as you speak. They'll catch the clue, believe me.

This works wonderfully when you're on an escalator going up.

There's always that one joker behind you in the drive thru line who feels the need to honk when you're snaking through your local fast food joint for a quick snack and two extra feet of space appears ahead of you. Who is this clown, a member of the Extra Space Patrol Brigade? To annoy him/her further, a good trick is to shut off your car engine, take the keys out of the ignition and exit the car. Sit on the grass beside your car and watch them throw a hissy fit. Better: Park yourself on a nearby bench, cross your legs and get comfortable while they hit the roof. Who doesn't like a grand show, after all?

Remember: You're in front of them. You command the control ...

Of course, these are simple solutions to situations of the minor annoyance variety. For bigger problems drastic measures need be taken.

That's when a convenient glass window comes in handy. Don't be afraid to toss the offending party right on through that pane of see-through justice. (Hint: Don't second guess yourself. All you need to do is access a situation and use common sense. If someone's being an asshole, take decisive action. They deserve it.)

Boom. Problem solved.

And don't worry - they'll be fine once they regain consciousness.

Want more Unbelievable Top Tips? Clark and Jeff are coming up later in the week. Stay tuned!

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