Showing posts with label Stiletto Flats Police Department. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stiletto Flats Police Department. Show all posts

Friday, June 2, 2017

Well, That Was Easy ...




Don't you love it when things fall into place by circumstance outside your control? 

(Don't get me wrong - it's good to have things work out from good old fashioned elbow grease and ingenuity of your own accord. But when the clouds dissipate and the sun comes shining through without any effort at all, you just have to smile wide and take it in for all it's worth.)

That's exactly what happened with the Turklington gang.

Out of the blue, the captain at Stiletto Flats P.D. rang us up and delivered the news: "Guys? Turns out the Turklington gang has turned themselves in. I wanted you to know first hand so you could come down yourselves and hear what they have to say ..."

We jumped in the 'Vette (I called shotgun a second before Jeff so he had to ride in the back) and skedaddled down to the station. In a holding room were the three hooligans comprising the Turklington Sisters Robbery Gang: Maude, Daphne and Fiona. 

Except they weren't in feminine attire. Not a hint of womanliness. Which was a relief because they made really unattractive looking women. 

"I'm going to give you guys 5 minutes with them, okay?" the captain told us. He left the room and we were alone, just the six of us. Maude looked sheepishly at Clark, Daphne wouldn't look at Jeff to save his life and Fiona fidgeted in his seat. 

"We're sorry, guys," Maude began confessing. "We just couldn't take it any more. Mostly because it's hard dressing up as women. I might have been a whole different story if the wigs weren't so damned hot and uncomfortable, if we could run in high heels more easily and if the friggin' underwires weren't digging into us every time we bent over ... but we're sorry."

Clark, Jeff and I exchanged looks then returned our stares back at the three of them. We walked out of the holding room without a word. 

We thanked the captain who was standing just outside (Clark murmured something under his breath about not letting the shoddy police work that started the whole mess happen again) and we left. 

"Well, that was sad" I stated. "Easy but sad. If you can't stand the heat ..."

"Little intrigue, nothing really devious or noteworthy, nothing ..." Jeff commented.

"I actually felt sorry for them. Just a little bit." I thought I heard Clark uncharacteristically sniffle, ever so slightly. But he perked up a moment later. "Hey, let's swing over to Petit's place and throw him out a window. That'll do the trick! Whattaya say, guys?"

The 'Vette peeled off happily down the road. 


Monday, May 29, 2017

A break in the case!

Having effectively cleared our names regarding the absurd notion that we could be criminals or ugly women, we received a formal apology from the Stiletto Flats Police Department:
"We're formally sorry about that. Our bad. It probably won 't happen again." - Stiletto Flats Police Department
To protect and to serve, or at least apologize when falling short


With that out of the way, we went to work actively trying to solve the case and we've already discovered the true identities of the bandits and they're (here comes the PLOT TWIST) actually women!
They're women who know that they look like men dressing as women. Fiendishly clever!

This is the leader. Her name is Maude Turklington. Her crew consists of her sisters...

Daphne

And Fiona

They call themselves the Turklington Sisters Robbery Gang, which is not nearly as clever. These ladies are the brains of the operation and the ones who actually show up to commit the crimes, but they're assisted by their dimwitted boyfriends.

Maude's squeeze Kevin, getaway driver.

Daphne's main man Larry handles the crew's social media. Q: Why on earth would a gang of crooks have a social media presence? A: Why not?

And Fiona's buttermuffin Walter, who's on hand for various odd jobs and thuggery.

So now we know what we're really up against and that much closer to bringing them to justice!