Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Unbelievaball Explained!

"... I want to leave room for the guys to expound upon
the unique and exciting sport of UNBELIEVABALL ..."

- Clark last post

What you have to understand, first and foremost, is the fact UNBELIEVABALL has an important pre-game ritual to establish the boundaries of the particular game to be played. Of course cocktails are a necessary part of this ritual because any sport worthy of play demands a strict adherence to rules. And in order to stick to those rules you need to hash them out beforehand so everyone's on the same page when it comes to "go time." 

UNBELIEVABALL is no different in that regard. In fact it's rather unique as game play is different every time it's played. So, sitting down to chat about an upcoming game is not only civilized but a necessary part of the process. And what could be more civilized than working things out over a martini or a mai tai or two? Hashing out the necessaries is tantamount to professionalism in our book.

Just as important as the rules, though, is one odd item of note you may have picked up on: That we wear the same uniform as the Unbelieva-Babes who play alongside us. There are a couple reasons for this: 1) We're not afraid to show off what we have (if you know what I mean) and 2) the skimpy duds promote fair play without undue roughhousing. After all, there's not much in the way of padding in that apparel. (Well, that's not entirely true. The ladies have more "padding" than us. We gents have the natural muscle. So it's a win-win all around.) From the start you have to be a man of confidence in order to suit up for UNBELIEVABALL. It's not a game for wimps or those with weak constitutions or image issues.

Interestingly, it's a three-team contest with all teams on the field and jockeying for position at the same time. Needless to say you have to be on your toes at all times. Concentrate on one team too much and the other will capitalize on your folly. That right there is part of the uniqueness of UNBELIEVABALL - using the other teams as allies while, at the same time, realizing you have to keep them at bay from scoring on you. Not an easy task, let me tell you. This makes the game play intense, ultra-strategic and robust all at the same time.

Are there referees or umpires or officials involved? No. This is a game of gentlemanly-ship with clear-cut obedience to the rules put down and agreed to at the beginning of the contest. If you don't follow those rules chaos ensues. And the game isn't a free-for-all. It's a tournament of wills, a mental exercise in strategy and a challenge filled with intrigue. 

Not only that but you have to present a positive image when you're around the Unbelieva-Babes. Their presence is key to playing a fair and valued contest. Hockey and football and the like are fine for the neanderthal set who thrive on the physical prowess of their respective activities; UNBELIEVABALL requires more of a disciplined approach. It's a more satisfying competition than a mere test of brute strength.

Lastly, there's the all-important post-game discussion where Team Clark, Team Jeff and Team Michael review the match and dissect what worked, what didn't and how fabulous the Unbelieva-Babes looked on the field of play. Naturally, post-game cocktails are essential here, too.

And there you have it - UNBELIEVABALL in a nutshell. A cultured, sophisticated sport ... with rockin' uniforms.

But wait. I didn't really detail the actual rules of UNBELIEVABALL, did I? And that's because there are better, more capable men then me who can convey such detail-oriented explanation.

And one of those men just might be named Jeff ...

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