Saturday, August 26, 2017

Sartorial Assistance

When it comes to assistance, we've never needed much, you know? Armed as we are with our knowledge of Unbelieva-Zen, Unbelieva-Fu, handling weaponry (including the incredibly useful Lobster Rage Fist), making things go KABOOM,  and our use of witty barbs and sarcastic put-downs courtesy of Dag Nabbit, we're pretty much unstoppable, as our many foes will testify. 
Now available in Russian!

But there is one more weapon in our arsenal that is like the cherry on top of the bun, the icing on the cake, the bee's knees, the cat's pajamas (get on with it! - Ed.)in short, the dog's bollocks, it is our sweet, sweet style.

It's no secret that we have been fashion icons since before fashion icons were even a thing. 

You may laugh and scoff, but let me tell you - being armed to the teeth and skilled in martial arts is one thing, but being armed and dangerous while looking amazing is quite another.

We may not look armed, but do not fool yourself into thinking that you are safe for even a second.

Think of all your action heroes - Van Damme, Schwarzenegger, Seagal, etc. Ever see any of them pull off ponchos and cardigans quite like us? No. Because they can't handle the cravat and the belted cardigan, the corduroy and the jumpsuit. But us - well, you know we can. 

Only we can look this cool and relaxed after having booted Henri Petit out of a window or thrown Little Debbie's henchmen down six flights of stairs while mixing a pitcher of Moscow Mules and flipping on the latest from Esquivel!

So, make no mistake, evil-doers! We will get you and stop you from doing evil, and we'll look immaculate while doing it. 

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