Monday, August 28, 2017

The Unbelievable Girl Scout Cookie Caper

From the "Now It Can Be Told files ...

It was some years ago. The Unbelievables had hit their stride. 

Fashion icons. Super crime fighting studs. Upstanding gentlemen about town. Faithful keepers of the peace who were idols to multitudes from coast to coast. Our status of same internationally was quickly spreading as well.

Things were going well. Very well.

I was at the Unbelieva-Base alone when I heard the doorbell ring. I answered the door. There, standing in front of me, was a Girl Scout.

"Hi! Would you like to buy some Girl Scout Cookies?" she asked. How could I refuse? I had a dozen boxes of treats in my arms by time all was said and done.

"My buddies will love these! Thank you very much ... and good luck selling!" I told her as she bounced away, seemingly pleased at making a few sales.

The next day, I heard the doorbell ring again. From down the hall in one of the offices, I heard Jeff answer. I paid no heed until he passed by ten minutes later with more than a few cases in tow. 

Oh, look ... more cookies ...

"Look what I got: Girl Scout Cookies!" He exclaimed. 

"Heh! I forgot to tell you guys I bought some yesterday. Their in the kitchen cabinet.

Then, the following day when Jeff and I had come back from some errand, Clark greeted us excitedly: "Guys! It's Girl Scout Cookie time! One of them was hear earlier and I stocked us up for the season!" he boasted.

Clark, Clark, Clark ...

"How many did you buy?" I asked.

Clark beamed. "A dozen cases! I told you, were good to go for months!"

"Crikey! We could start our own cookie business," Jeff stated. "I bought a bunch just yesterday!"

The NEXT day the doorbell rang yet again. Surprise ... it was Girl Scouts. "Cookies?" they offered.

"Nope, thanks" Clark told them. "All of us have bought plenty. We'll be eating cookies until the end of summer!"

A stark, no-nonesense woman in Girl Scout attire came striding up to the door. "The girls have mentioned you were one of their best customers this past week. They have a quota to fulfill and they were hoping you could help them out. You'd like to help them out, wouldn't you?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

Clark "opened the door" so to speak: "What kind of quota? How close are they to hitting that number?"

"They're just a pallet away from hitting the mark. Think you could find your way to going that extra mile? I hear The Unbelievables are a pretty hot item nowadays and the Girl Scouts would certainly be appreciative of the effort. And this would be the last time we'd bother you with the trouble." The woman smiled as she finished ... and it was almost a devious smile.

Clark swore the Girl Scout den mother
looked sort of like the woman in the middle above.

But it was enough for Clark to relent. "Let me hit up the guys ..." he told her and partially closed the door.

"No!" Jeff sounded off. "We're so deep in Thin Mints we'll keep our dentist busy with all the extra appointments we'll be making!"

"Don't you dare Clark," I told him.

"But, guys, they promised ... his is it. No more. And we'll get something out of it, too: The Girl Scouts' seal of approval for upstanding community contribution. Come on ..."

Holy Samoas and Trefoils, Batman!
This is just a taste of what went into our shed ...

In the end, our outdoor storage shed was packed to bursting with Girl Scout cookies. "That's the last of them," I said to the guys when we were done putting them away later that afternoon. "I swear, it's a conspiracy ... blackmail or something. If I didn't know any better I'd say someone's pulling a fast one on us. Look: No one is answering that door for Girl Scouts again ... right?" The guys agreed.

This should have been Jeff's first clue to close the door immediately.

It wasn't a couple days later when Federal Express showed up with a double trailer parked in front of the headquarters. The delivery dude handed Jeff a bill of lading. 

It was from the Girl Scouts ...

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