Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Verbal Assistance

Theodore "Dagworth" Nabbit.
Just one in The Unbelievables' expert circle of professionals.

You know ... not everything we do has to have dramatic physical effect. That's not to say we don't dig the explosions and special features that enhance our often fabulous derring-do activities, something Clark detailed Monday.

Not every situation requires punching a bad guy in the face or throwing a deserving foe out a 15th story window ... often though those cases might appear to be. 

All I'm saying is there's value in a well placed quip, put down or insult, too. And, while the three of us are also experts in the verbal jousting arena, there's always room for improvement and advancement. 

That's where our old buddy Theodore "Dagworth" Nabbit comes into play. 

He's a coach extraordinaire when it comes to verbally putting people in their places. And, honestly, I don't know how we've gotten along without him all these years.

You see, cold-cocking a ne'er-do-well is one thing. Calling them out (literally) is something else all together.

For example: Not too long ago we were in the throes of a week's worth of continual head bashing and extreme physical activity, pitting our expert fighting abilities to their limits against a seemingly never-ending barrage of bad guys. It was as if a memo went out to all our foes: "Everyone! We're going to hit The Unbelievables with continuous and ferocious contention, endless brawling and unceasing hostilities until they're just too exhausted to battle us effectively. It will be their ultimate downfall!"

The fighting was fierce and constant and both sides tired after days of conflict. A rare break in the action came in the form of a lunch break at some no-name fast food joint where we bumped into Dag by chance. 

"Hey! You're The Unbelievables! I'm a big fan! But ... you guys look exhausted. Can I buy you a refreshing beverage?" he asked. 

We got to talking and of course our latest activities came up in conversation. "You know ... you don't have to resort to fisticuffs all the time. You could baffle your enemies with some well-placed barbs ..." Exhausted as we were, we were intrigued. Dag walked us through a few preliminary exercises which ended up being our saving grace that day. 

That fifteen minute break was just what we needed. We went forth, back into battle against our counterparts, well stocked with all manner of catchy insults to trip them up.

Two guys approached Clark menacingly: "Man, that artillery looks heavy. You should trade it in for something a little more user-friendly. Wear and tear on the body, you know ..." Clark's foes were receptive. They took off to find something easier to carry.

A trio of mutant apes threatened Jeff on the open street. "Come on, chaps! A bit of decorum is in order. Where are your trousers? You weren't born in a barn, were you? Are we not men?" That really got to them and they wandered off in mid attack scratching their heads in puzzlement at what Jeff had asked.

An Amazon Viking woman towered over me at one point. I complimented her on how her bangs stayed out of her eyes while fighting. She blushed like a schoolgirl and turned a couple shades of red. (Later, a date was arranged at a fancy restaurant ... but I never showed.)

"This stuff really works! That Dag is a genius!" we all agreed.

Ever since that fateful day, Dag Nabbit has been one of our go-to expert specialists, someone we can call in time of need for advice, and a key player in The Unbelievables' circle of professionals.

Still, though ... the explosions from blowing up our foes are pretty cool.

No comments:

Post a Comment