Monday, March 27, 2017

The search for RudeMan

For some time now, there's been a bad guy out there for whom we've been looking. He's a bad, bad egg and he's done awfully terrible things. Fortunately... and unfortunately... none of them have merited an actual pursuit of a criminal investigation or charges. That means while he hasn't actually harmed anyone, he's out there, running wild and causing discomfort and annoyance (in lieu of actual criminal mayhem) all over the globe.
He's known for:

  • Picking up items in the grocery store, deciding he doesn't want them, then just leaving them on whatever shelves are nearby.
  • Playing his music at unreasonably loud volume.
  • Getting off an elevator and just standing there so nobody else can get off or on.
  • Not covering up when he coughs or sneezes.
  • Dialing a wrong number and being abusive to the innocent person who happens to pick up.
  • Not rewinding rented VHS tapes (I said we've been looking for him for a while).
  • Driving in a lane that is clearly marked as "RIGHT TURN ONLY", going all the way up to the light and then trying to merge into the thru lane.

You might be thinking "lots of people do those kinds of things" and you'd be thinking wrong. Believe it or not, our investigation has revealed that it's actually one very busy guy who is very good at disguising himself and travelling great distances. Since the cops can't, and won't, pursue him, it falls on us to try to do so. He's hard to pin down. As such, we don't know his true identity and have taken to calling him RudeMan. But it appears that our Unbelievasatellite has tracked him down in whatever country this is...
Yeah, that's him all right,

He needs to be stopped. The guys will offer more reasons why and hopefully some plans on how to do that later this week. Stay tuned (please)!

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