All Twerk And No Play

First, let's get this little nugget out of the way. Here is visual proof of why "Clarking" died out.

Um, yeah.

"Jeffing", that bizarre bug-spotting-then-stomping dance, became "The Roach", as danced by Tracy Turnblad aka Ricki Lake in the original Hairspray, and performed here in an awkward clip from American Bandstand by The Spats...






And then there's Michaeling, which is a bizarro pants-pulling conga line, and not, as Google would have you believe, being a mega fan of Michael Jackson (who he?).

As to twerking, all we can say is... this is one dance we'd like to see relegated to the wicker waste basket of history ASAP. It seems like it's basically a lap dance where no sitting is involved, and no lap either. Sticking your tush up and wiggling it a la Pepe le Pew does not make you Fred Astaire no matter how shiny your shoes and other accessories are, sorry.

So, we're working on it, and at the same time I believe we should try to resurrect a few dances from yesteryear that may have been overlooked. Jeffing and Michaeling sound fun, but Clarking is inadvisable unless you're a yoga instructor with the telephone number of a good osteopath. Or you could try this...

Al Coholic and his backing dancers, The Inebriate Women get loose.