Crepe: "... and we're back, folks. This is KZRT, your only desert station here in Stiletto Flats and the surrounding area, bringing you all the latest news and weather on the Crepe and Charlemaine Show. We're right in the middle of the topic of the morning, the snafu with The Oscars from last night, the controversial Indian giver move pulled off by the Academy on the good folks at La La Land. What a twist. We've never seen that one before ... and we want to hear from YOU, our listeners on what you think and how you feel. Let's go to another caller. Who do we have up next, Char?"
Charlemaine: "We have Zigfried from right here in Stiletto Flats, Crepe. You're on with Crepe and Char, Zig. What are your thoughts on the Academy Awards debacle?"
Zigfried: "Well ... I have news for you: I was responsible for the whole ruckus. Me."
Crepe: "Really? You mean ... you orchestrated the mix up with the cards during the Best Picture reveal last night? Tell us about that ..."
Zigfried: "Ever seen that scenario before? You haven't. That's because PricewaterhouseCoopers, now known as PwC, has never let that happen before. It took someone ingenious to pull that off. And that someone was me. I infiltrated The Oscars, I made the envelope switch to Warren Beatty and he read the wrong winner. I let PwC have there double check in place in order to showcase the confusion and embarrassment of the situation."
Charlemaine: "We're going to need proof you did it. Why would you do that? How did you do it?"
Zigfried: "You know that tour bus they let in the Dolby Theater? I was on that bus. I ditched the group and worked my way backstage. Honestly: Have you ever seen a tour group worked into the Academy Awards like that before? No. Because security is tight. The place is like Fort Knox. It just doesn't happen. But I've been planning it for quite some time. You saw the result ..."
Crepe: "More proof ... we need even more proof."
Zigfried: "Fine. Ever hear of a time when Trump does NOT respond to some tweet or other when provoked? Jimmy Kimmel tried ... and failed. That just doesn't go down ..."
Charlemaine: "So what's your game? What are you trying to prove?"
Zigfried: "That the system is vulnerable and it CAN be broken ..."
Crepe: "Sorry. But that's just not enough to get us to believe you were the instigator ..."
Zigfried: "Okay. Here's one more thing, then. Big awards show, watched by millions all over the world. Was there one word from any of the winners grandstanding about politics? About starving children? Women's rights? Anything? No, there wasn't. Because I got to them, too ... every single one of them."
Charlemaine: "Crap, Crepe. He's right. Scary."
Crepe: "Big deal."
Zigfried: "It IS a big deal. I've shown I can worm my way into the most secure of events. So, here's my demand: Get The Unbelievables to meet with me in 72 hours. Or all hell is going to break loose. You'll see real damage done, not just a simple switcheroo at an awards ceremony ..."
(... to be continued ...)