Wednesday, June 8, 2016

So, What Do You Do When Not Henching?

It's true, most henchmen are a slow-witted bunch. But Grigor Gorgrivich was a real character, dedicated to his craft, and a true gent into the bargain. For it was he that formed the League of Under-Appreciated Minions along with Frank from Mystery Science Theatre 3000.

Sadly missed (the show, not Frank).

As Clark put it on Monday, long-term employment really isn't a viable career option for thugs. So during those downtimes when a suitable evil scientist or demented crime lord could not be found, Grigor tried other forms of employment. For a time, he went into the wrestling business.

To begin with, he was in peak condition.

However, as time wore on and he started making money, the lure of Outback's Cheesy Fries proved to be too great for our Grigor.
He also made forays into the acting world. Got himself an agent and everything!

"Hey Mort, get me a part in a Harold Pinter play!"
He got several film roles, in a variety of genres. 

Horror flicks...

horror again...

and, uh, campy horror.
Then there was his short-lived stint working in martial arts training...

For a time he was a park trail guide...

and hair model.

His retirement bash presented us with the opportunity to ask him what he would do now he wasn't gonna be bothering us anymore. He shyly admitted that he'd recently begun computer dating. Yes, that's right, the 400-lb meathead Grigor Gorgrivich was looking for love. He asked us for tips, since we have no trouble finding female company. (Hello, ladies!!) 

Michael told him that the first step was to make your dating profile picture be really good. It should be professionally shot, well-lit, and reflect your true personality. On hearing this advice, Grigor whipped out his phone to proudly show us his Tinder profile pic. 

Nailed it!

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