Here's the thing:
When our foes observe something they think is from us, something they believe causes them slight, they immediately go into action to try to counter it.
In this case? Our success with The Li'l Unbelievables.
Honestly, when we put the idea together it was all about the kids. Nothing more.
Clark, Jeff and I simply don't understand how our foes see The Li'l Unbelievables and think we're thumbing our nose at them. Do you see any hint of that? No? Neither do we.
"Oh! Look at The Unbelievables this week! They think they're better than us by catering to children and parents! We'll show them!"
In their eyes, it's all about them. They see it as us stepping on their toes. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Regardless, it's not stopping them from launching faux rhetoric in an attempt to besmirch us. But they can't even get that right.
We're not certain who it is - it might be a collaborative effort from several of our enemies, who knows? - but someone has begun putting out kids' books to make The Li'l Unbelievables look bad. Naturally, these books are failing spectacularly; the public is not fooled.
Here ... let me show you:
This is just wrong. A feeble attempt to not only sully Clark's good name but imply he's other than pleasant to be around. And we all know that's simply not true. (Mostly.)
Wow. Just ... wow.
Really? Kids are going to believe this? I mean they're kids. Impressionable and innocent, yes ... but who's ever heard of a whipped potato monster?
Known Fact: All kids love whipped potatoes. So ... this? Nothing but a sad, pitiful fabrication.
Honestly, I don't even know where to begin with this one. The implications alone fly far overhead of any child I know.
But here's the real kicker: There's actually small print on the inside cover of this book that states: "In the interest of decency no actual photographs of Michael in any state of undress were used in the creation of this book. Federal, state and local laws prohibit the use of any such photographs siting child pornography concerns."
I had a few tales lined up in light of Clark's mention Monday ...
Parents: Gather your kids and see what happens next when Li'l Jeff and Li'l Michael continue our story of Stylish Tots and the mischief they get into!
... until the above examples started appearing on the shelves of bookstores everywhere.
Worry not though, folks. Character defamation letters have already gone out courtesy of The Law Offices of Poon.