Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Gary Flurve vs The Unbelievables

The plaintiff
Long ago, one of our harshest critics was a man named Gary Flurve. His complaints were very similar to the simpering whinings - or whining simpers - of "George" (Hmm, Gary? George? Hmm.). 'Who told you you could', 'who do you think', 'how dare you', etc. He was so bent out of shape about it that he sued us! His complaint: We couldn't be The Unbelievables because of the fact that we exist, therefor rendering us quite easily believable. He hired a lawyer and dragged us into court.

Here's how that went...

MARCIA SNAGFOOT (Flurve's attorney): "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please allow me to show you some individuals who are truly unbelievable."
"Ladies and gentlemen, these are fictional characters and therefor inherently unbelievable. Clark, Jeff and Michael, the three gentlemen who refer to themselves as 'The Unbelievables' are sitting right there. Look at them! Totally there, existing in our universe and totally believable. Nothing further!"

What Marcia Snagfoot didn't know was that prior to the trial beginning, our lawyer, the esteemed Chung Poon, had arranged for this little lady to be seated in the gallery:

CHUNG POON: "Your honor, is Ms. Snagfoot really trying to tell all of us here in this courtroom that they shouldn't believe in Santa Claus? All of us? (cocks thumb at little girl seated behind him)"
JUDGE: "Ms. Snagfoot, you are a reprehensible creature. A monster! You are hereby held in contempt of innocence and dreams and I sentence you to live all alone on a jungle island infested with tigers. Case dismissed! All hail The Unbelievables!" (Courtroom bursts into spontaneous cheers of joy as a bailiff throws a pie into the face of Gary Flurve)

Now, you may be questioning the character of Chung Poon and his exploitation of an innocent child for the sake of winning a favorable verdict for his clients. Well, you may be surprised to learn that the adorable little girl in the courtroom that day...
 ...was actually the incredibly talented Charlize Theron using her actor talent power to portray a little girl.

See how Poon is a genius?
See how it all circles back to our involvement with celebrities?
See how truly Unbelievable we are?

No comments:

Post a Comment