Friday, March 13, 2015

Kip By Name, Kip By Nature

So, before I start, I should just let everyone know that Kip has been found alive and well. The reason I say this at the beginning of the post is because we have had various communiques from worried female fans (who knew?) who were concerned that their favourite mail boy was in a desperate and dire situation. I'm not even kidding. Check this out:

Dear Unbelievables,
What's happened to Kip? I hope you have found that sweet boy with the angelic face. I've been so worried! He is my favourite! I've even decorated the inside of my school locker with some fabbo Kip pix so I can look at his sweet face all the time! He's dreamy (etc.etc., it goes on at some length regarding some sort of Kip-shrine, you get the idea...)
Sheena Ribeena, Kip's #1 fan
She even included a photo.

Be that as it may, we were tipped off to his location yesterday by the sound of loud snoring emanating from behind one of the filing cabinets in his mailroom. We investigated further and discovered, pulling out the filing cabinet, a secret doorway (who knew?) to his own private alcove, replete with comfy hammock, coffeemaker, alarm clock, toaster and mini-fridge, not to mention a small chest of drawers and a portable shower. In the hammock lay Kip, snoozing merrily away nineteen to the dozen. We gently woke him (well, Clark tried to shove him out of his hammock), and once he was conscious and coherent, we peppered him with questions.

Turns out that after going to Petit's gaff and rigging those retractable wheels on to the Hacktivator, he was exhausted. In that situation, he saw fit to use the secret napping house (his words, not ours) that he had made for himself behind the filing cabinet, and sleep. For days and days.

Now, you may be aware that I am the only one of the Unbelievables that is from the UK. And you may not know that in certain parts of Britain, such as the South-East where I grew up, there is a slang term for taking a nap, which is "to have a kip".

You could almost see the lightbulb go on inside my mind and shine out through my eye sockets!
"Kip," I said, incredulous, "are you of English extraction?"

"Yes," he replied. "How did you know?"

"Your parents were wise folks, naming you after your favourite pastime, eh?"

Kip said nothing, but he just fixed me with that steady gaze and I swear I saw a twinkle in his eye.

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