Friday, November 29, 2013

The Strange Case Of The Layaway Plan - Chapter 3 (or "Mounting Debts 'R' Us")

... and then came something so insidiously horrifying that it's worked its way into becoming a notorious modern day plague, courtesy of Kiefer Reef's devious machinations: 

The Advance Payday Store

This guy. Mastermind money maker extraordinaire ...

Adding to the legacy of his great-great-great-great-great-great-not-so-great grand uncle Sean Pawn, this was Kiefer's response to layaway's steady decline over the years. Jump into your car and head on over to your local advance payday store for a loan just about guaranteed to put you in hock over your ears. The ultimate "gotcha." The easy way to quick money ("No credit problem too big for us!") Because, really: Don't all of us need to pay 60 points on the dollar in time of need?

All you need do is waltz into one of these money shops, tell them what you need, practically sign (in blood) on the dotted line and you high-step out of the joint with cash in hand, happy as a lark.

Better yet ... who needs a car? Log on with your trusty computer and do it from the comfort of your own home while still in your skivvies.

The ages-old stand-by marketing plan:
Smiling beautiful people. Congratulations - you've got the public hooked ...

Yes, clever as well as insidious. Kiefer had it going on when he came up with this little plot, expanded over the years nationwide with thousands of stores which keep his fortunes not only maintained but growing healthily. Even more brilliant was his initial marketing plan to bring the throngs in - showcase attractive Beautiful People smiling away as they wave a handful of cash. Talk about being distracted by shiny objects ...

Clark noted Kiefer's twisted machinations aren't too much for The Unbelievables to handle ... and, really, they're not. It's simply a matter of educating the public at large. (Mainly with a "Hey, buddy: Are you insane? You might have your problems in the monetary department right now as you see them, but trust us when we say they'll escalate tenfold if you step foot in this joint ...")

The majority of the time we're successful in steering unsuspecting regular Joes from these places. But the public mind is an interesting turmoil of emotion and self-gratifying need - its going to do what it wants, common sense be damned. If they want instant money, dad gum it, they're going to get it. "This establishment is a legal place of business! Don't tell ME I can't go in there and get what's coming to me!"

Yeah. They get what's coming to them all right ... in the form of a speedy lesson.

Kiefer Reef, backed by free enterprise. The criminal mind is a dark, thorny, treacherous, evil place ...

1 comment:

  1. But the title to my car is the answer to my Christmas woes!! Easy auto pawn, baby!