Friday, November 1, 2013

Halloween is over; now comes the hard part

Now that the trick-or-treaters have tricked and treated,  it's time for the responsible adults to get to work and fish out all the dangerous items in those sacks full of candy.
Did you really think that was an urban legend. Ha! We wish, and seriously too, in spite of that odd and inappropriately placed "Ha!".
Now, everybody knows about apples and razor blades. That one actually is false. Well, it happened; there have been razor blades put in apples but it was an ill-fated promotional stunt by the Granny Smith Razor Blade company and not a malicious act.
Tell that to the people who owned stock in Granny Smith Razor Blades
But here are a list of treats and the threats that could be inside of them...

  • Snickers bar = napalm
  • Hershey's bar = C-4 explosive
  • Butterfinger bar = nunchucks
  • Goobers and/or Raisinets = iron filings
  • Skittles = Hepatitis 
  • Milky Way bar = hornets
  • Popcorn ball = smaller popcorn ball with many parts of it burnt quite badly
  • Apple = prunes
  • Baby Ruth bar = signed deed in timeshare condo in Orlando
  • Jolly Ranchers = farts
  • Twizzlers = ticket to an NBA preseason game
  • Malted milk balls = other kind of balls
  • SweetTarts = used bullets
Good luck sorting that all out.
Of course, if you just want to send all your stuff to us, we'll take care of it for you.

The Unbelievables
PO Box 68
Stiletto Flats NV 89087 

1 comment:

  1. Just one more reason I have forever disliked Milky Way candy bars ...