Friday, January 11, 2013

Getting the drop on a name

"Iamnottouchingyou. Iamnottouchingyou. Iamnottouchingyou."
Ooooh, Von Grunwald! We've had lots of adversaries over the years but few who can even come close to touching this guy in terms of sheer annoyance.
Michael's done a terrific job of telling you about some of our allies in the entertainment biz, which is good because I'm not sure I'm the "inveterate name-dropper" that Jeff says I am. I asked Catherine Deneuve, Julie Christie, Pam Grier, Susan Sarandon and Tonianne DeMaria Barry if they thought I was and they all said no.
Anyway, yes, Von Grunwald.
So, so many annoying traits and habits. The number one being that in spite of his elaborate schemes, so little of what he does can actually be classified as crime. This inhibits our ability to go after him as aggressively as we might otherwise. Delivering malted milk balls to movie theatres in chocolate covered raisin boxes (and vice-versa). Not picking up after his dog poops in someone else's yard. That song. All incredibly annoying... but not actually criminal acts. Which in itself is extremely annoying.
No, I suspect bringing Von Grunwald down once and for all may require broadening our scope and finding some legal loophole, similar to how The Untouchables eventually nailed Al Capone with tax evasion. Further, I suspect Von Grunwald's ultimate weakness may just be The Unbelievables greatest strengths:  sense of style and wardrobe. Stay tuned...
Gee, I guess you didn't read the paragraph at the
bottom of page 9 of this document, did you, chump?

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