Friday, November 15, 2013

Beware The Double "D" Dames

"I'm sure Michael will let you know about some of our lesser-known evil-doers," Jeff said in Wednesday's post.

Fat chance of that.

Here ... let me show you why:

"Oh, Jeff! Those are some delectable-looking whipped potatoes you have there! I completely forgot it was Tuesday!"

"I really like a man who poses next to his vintage Corvette! You're sassy and confident in equal measure, Clark!"

"Wow, Michael - I didn't know an ascot could be so attractive!

Do those exclamations sound like the machinations of lesser-known evil doers? Heck no! They're some of the most insidious commonalities we Unbelievables must shoulder day in and day out ... and gladly.

And you'd think, by the innocence of it all, there wouldn't be any underlying or ulterior motives. But let's be realistic: There are always underlying and ulterior motives when you're making small talk ... and especially small talk that comes off as throwaway. It's the most dangerous kind of small talk around.

That being said, there is no one group of Chatty Cathys more dangerous than Dx, D3 and DLish, Better Known as the Double "D" Dames. Their devious, daring and double-talking ways have often perplexed The Unbelievables at every turn, opening doors to chaos and monkey business with every turn of a phrase.

Want proof?

"Jeff! I just love you!" Dx was caught saying to him at a chance encounter once. "You're so handsome! Much more handsome than Clark or Michael! You've always been my favorite!" 

"Clark! I just adore you!" exclaimed D3 to him during a gathering of the Annual "Spies and Good Guys" convention last year. "You're so handsome! Much more handsome than Michael or Jeff! You've always been my favorite!" 

"Michael! What wavy locks you have!" DLish was heard to say over a PA system while we were at a parade in our honor some time ago in Durham, North Carolina. "You're so handsome! By far you are my favorite Unbelievable! Jeff and Clark don't come close to having what you've got!" 

(You can see by far DLish is the one with the real chutzpah, as proof of her stating the above in clear earshot of Jeff and Clark.) 

Now ... put all this personal attention together and you can see how these web-weaving foxy mamas could inject devious shenanigans into their sugar-coated praises.

Of all the villains out there, all the wily, underhanded ne'er-do-wells wandering about near and far, these three just might be our greatest foes.

Jeff and Clark have documented and categorized more than a few of our lesser foes this week (seriously ... how can you not like
Accordion Toting Dude ... ?!?), but the Double "D" Dames are more than a handful, not to be trifled with. 

Tune in next week to find out why ...

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