Kiefer Reef is the great-great-great-great-great-great-not-so-great grand nephew of Sean Pawn, the inventor of, you guessed it, the pawn shop. Here's how that went:
SP: You there, peasant. You are starving and smell of cholera and filth. Yet you play so beautifully upon that lyre. Sell the instrument to me for a gold farthing and get yourself some food and bathing.
PEASANT: But kind sir, the lyre is my only earthly possession.
SP: Hmmm, well, sell it to me anyway for a farthing and get yourself some food, bathing and gainful employment. I will allow you to retain ownership rights to the instrument but will keep it in my care until such time that you can re-pay me and regain possession of it.
PEASANT: So you take my property until I pay you back your farthing and then return my property to me?
SP: TWO farthings.
PEASANT: How am I to earn two farthings?!?
SP: I shall rent you use of the lyre and you will travel about the land, playing it at street fairs and festivals. I shall retain a portion of the proceeds, as well as additional fees for booking, marketing, merchandising and future works, such as recordings when they are invented. PEASANT: Okay, THAT sounds like an implicitly fair arrangement. Deal!
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| Yes, he also invented the recording industry at the same time. |
Anywho, young Kiefer came to view the layaway concept as a genteel rip-off of the Pawn business model, and as such, a direct threat to his empire. What he did in response was horrible, but not too much for The Unbelievables to handle, as Michael will explain on Friday!!
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