Friday, November 8, 2013

He's Just The Mail Boy

Really, Michael? He's just the mail boy? Oh no, my friend. He's soooo much more than that. When you think of whom we might have ended up with as mail boy, he's a shining example of a model employee. 

I mean, look at some of the people whose resumes have ended up on our desk over the years, begging for a chance to work alongside their favourite international crime fighters...

Who do you think you are, bud? 

Sure, these fellas sure know their sticky notes. But seriously, would you trust them with anything more than that?

Um... no.

Sharp threads, but... no.

Kip is nothing short of a blimmin' miracle worker, the way he expertly handles our not inconsiderable incoming mail day in and day out...

Kip's average daily workload.
Some of the items of mail he's had to deal with would make your head spin. 

Some of the above happened to contain makeshift explosive devices. Oh yes, there are plenty of evil-doers out there who'd be glad to see the Unbelievables blasted into smithereens. But Kip heads them all off at the pass, frequently risking a permanent maiming in order to protect your protectors, world. You could say he's doing the planet a giant favour just by sorting our mail. He's a certified bomb expert, having trained with the incendiary division of the Eagle Scouts when only a lad. So he can spot a poorly disguised bomb a mile off. 

Clark (who is just angry at Kip for knowing more about something than him) suspects that Kip makes these bombs himself and mails them to the base so that he can then 'find' and 'defuse' them in order to make himself look good and appear invaluable. but, seriously, what kind of nutballs does he think Michael and myself are to employ someone so unhinged?! The very thought.

Kip also managed to uncover something that we had long suspected. You know when get a package delivered that has gotten somehow 'damaged' in transit, and there's a little apology note from the Postal Service with it that states at the top "WE CARE"? Turns out that this was not the first draft. Kip discovered one of the too-honest originals that must have been attached to a package by mistake. Here it is...

Kip, we tip our hats to you. You keep us safe from postal harm.

No comments:

Post a Comment