Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Disc delights and disasters

Not a complaint really, but being The Unbelievables means we often don't have time for many of life's simple joys. One of those pleasing pastimes is simply whiling away the hours by browsing the local record stores. Even when it's time to throw one of our Unbelieva-bashes, there's so much work that goes into the guest list, the menu and the post-affair accommodations (ahem) that we have to dispatch interns to pick up new music... and of course there has to be new music. Can you imagine someone attending one of our shindigs and complaining that they'd heard a tune or two before? The horror! No, in order to avoid that party foul, we often have to cram a wad of bills into some intern's cold sweaty palm and send them off. Their instructions are always simple: "1) Sexy 2) Girls", yet somehow they still manage to mess it up. Here are some choices the interns have made over the years, some of which that brought a few Unbelievable shindigs to a premature and immediate end.
Ah! Classic! Perfect! Well done, whomever it was that bought this one! I'm sure we wrote a stellar evaluation on your half, thanks to this!

Augh. No. Terrible. You got the gist of the assignment but you didn't apply any taste to it. This is too blatant. We like subtlety. Foreplay begins in the mind, you know. Much sexier that way. This is a  failure.
Much more like it! See? Very subtle. Plus, this album is slammin' . Good work!
Again, utter lack of subtlety. Plus, you know we are sticklers for fair play and follwoing the rules. In what sanctioned boxing match would anything pictured in this scenario EVER happen? Come on!
On the surface, at first sight, not bad. But ukeleles? No. No ukeleles.
There is such a thing as following our instructions too literally and this is it. We didn't have a  party for three years after this showed up on our turntable.

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