Sunday, June 2, 2013

Another Serious Note from Jeff

Hello readers. Jeff here again (the real Jeff this time, folks) with a brief addendum to what has gone before in the previous posts. Clark is so convinced that his disguise skills are far superior to mine or Michael's that he will even attempt to pretend to be one of us in order to illustrate his point. On Friday, if you remember, he went and tried to fool you, the reader, into thinking that it was I who was addressing you, by dropping a lot of British references into his language. 

As you can see, it didn't work, because he made one fatal error. One eagle-eyed reader (who might be taking the whole thing a bit too seriously) spotted this egregious oversight, and that is the metric system. We may be in Europe, we may learn the metric system at school, but we still drive in Miles Per Hour, still measure the inside leg of our cotton twill cricketing trousers in inches, and still drink PINTS of beer, not litres. And furthermore, they are IMPERIAL pints of beer, that's 20 fluid ounces to the pint, buddy. Not your poxy American 16 ounces. Yes, Americans, let it be known that when an Englishman drinks a pint, he drinks a damn pint! And when an Englishman drinks ten pints, that's like drinking twelve and a half of the American variety. And then that same Englishman eats a lot of curry, and falls over.

That is all.

1 comment:

  1. Oh right. Like you're not the guy always walking around the Unbelievabase in a Dallas Cowboys jersey, eating bacon, 'accidentally' shooting stuff and going, "Look at me everybody, I'm uh-Murican!"