Unbelieva-chillax-a-haiku

Clark told you all on Monday about his way of relaxing - meditation and haiku. Fair enough. I like poetry. But I find the best way to take my mind off the stresses and strains of being part of an amazing triumvirate - that is, being an Unbelievable -

is to combine the meditating and the haiku-writing with some other relaxing pursuits, or even to write about the relaxing pursuits while doing the relaxing pursuits (with me so far? Good.).

So, what do I find relaxing? So glad you asked. Below are some examples of my craft - poems written while engaged in one or more of the relaxing pursuits I mentioned before. (Confused? Don't be. It will all become self-explanatory.)

1 - BOOZE

To be Frank Gifford

So effortlessly stylish

Dry Sack On The Rocks

Charlie Brown's hero

Water, Barley malt, Rice, Hops, Yeast

Taste IS why you'll switch

2 - MASSAGE

Dude, I think you should

Climb on top of my shoulders

Wearing a towel.

Foxy lady on

A big leather couch, listen

While I knead your spine.

Ultrasonic thing

Invented by Japanese

Water massager.

The Vita Master

Lots of rollers go around

And rub my sore back.

3 - COCKTAILS

(Ok, I know that's still technically booze, but I got a load of these.)

Lemon juice, white rum

Passion fruit juice, add crushed ice

Sugar syrup. Drink.

How I miss those days

When your local liquor store

Carried Black & White.

4- LONG HOT BATHS

Oh, to drift away

In glowing pink hot water

A big wet disco.

5 - ANIMALS

More like animals

Is what we should strive to be

They know how to chill

6 - LADIES (HELLO, LADIES!!)

Pretty young woman

With two cases of Molson

Prithee, come hither

7 - ICE CREAM

I'd like to consume

Many bars of delicious

Korean ice cream.

8 - FUNKY FURNITURE

Michael's room is filled

With weird chairs and strange sofas

They're really comfy.

9 - WATER

Splashing around in

A giant fountain is fun

When I'm in London.

Hope you enjoyed my poetic efforts. Let's see how Michael fares on Friday.