You're Such A Card

As Clark mentioned on Monday, we all have our own style and approach on the day of the Big V. For me, the biggest deal is the card.

Oh, it's all very well to do the fancy dinner, the jewellery, the new outfit, the brand new Audi with a big red bow on it, the breakfast in bed, the flowers, the chocolates... but if the card sucks, then you are sunk. You might as well be wearing a T-shirt with the word 'loser' printed in big fat red letters on it. In church. Without pants.

So what kind of card is right? There are many answers, but the key word to remember is puns. Girls love a good pun, and the cornier, stupider, and more ridiculous, the better. I asked the UnbelievaBabes about the best V-cards they'd ever gotten, and they provided me with a few examples (you knew there'd be examples, didn't you? I am so transparent).

Kinky.

Oh, they get worse.

There's a bit of a tone to this one.

Croak - frog - geddit?

Offensive to donkeys.

Technically not a pun, but who's being picky?

And the worst one of all...

I heard the writer of this one now works for Jay Leno. Good gig.

 Now, I hope you follow my sage advice this Valentine's Day. if you don't, you might get a card back from your loved one like this...

She's not really into you.