Monday, February 3, 2014

Bear Vexed

One thing that happens to us Unbelievables quite a lot is when people confuse us - International Crimefighting playboys - with Superheroes. Well, sure, I guess it's an easy mistake to make - we are pretty darn cool, and our skills at defeating bad guys are unmatched, but don a cape, mask, tights and undies on the outside? Not our scene, folks. 

But for some people, the distinction between the two things gets a little blurry. So if one of our wannabe Unbelievables (and there are many, let's face it - who wouldn't want to join our hallowed ranks?) pops up at our gaff one day dressed in the silky spandex suit with the flowing cape, so what? We've seen it before. But say a teddy bear turns up attired the same way - that might be enough to make us stop and scratch our heads.

He said his name was Barry, but preferred to go under his superhero name Bear Vexed. What could we do for him, he asked. Make him a realistic offer, he said. He wanted to join, and become an Unbelievable. Sadly, we said, we stopped the recruitment business long ago, for reasons which we have explained in these pages not so long ago.

He showed us his skills. Tae kwon Do. Su Do Ku. Tae Bo. Hai Karate.

We had to admit, for a teddy that was pretty impressive.

He showed us the armoury tucked away in his utility belt.

Mmm, not bad. Particularly the TRS-80.

But ultimately, we said no. Three's company, we said. The boiling pot and all that. Too many cooks. You know the drill.

So off he stomped, in a huff. "Forget you guys," he snapped. "I'm gonna form my own crimefighting trio. And I'm gonna call it ---

The UnBearLievables..."

Well, he did just that. He got two of his buddies to join.

Bear Lee There.

Prime NumBear.

And they've been popping up annoyingly ever since. At least until last week.

I'll leave it to Clark and Michael to explain how we took the UnBearLievables out of circulation. Till then... ciao!

By the way... we never did figure out what T, W and S stood for.

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