|Me and my Beard|
A while back, I was dating a lovely young woman named Millicent Beard. She was a delightful debutante from Delaware. We'd often vacation with her family at their summer resort home on Pen Island. Pen Island was a wonderful place. I always felt at home when I was at Pen Island. To this day, I feel like it's almost as if a guy like me belongs at Pen Island. I would tease Millicent about it. "Thank goodness for my dear, sweet Beard; if not for you, I'd never be able to really enjoy Pen Island to the fullest." She'd tease back, "you know, I love it just as much as you do!" and I'd say, "I don't think that's possible!" Oh, how we'd laugh and laugh. Pity that it didn't work out between Millicent and I, but if I'm being truly honest, I miss Pen Island much more than I miss her. Oh well.
One morning on one of our frequent secret getaway weekends at Pen Island, I was sitting on the veranda, just enjoying the magnificence Pen Island offers when you first wake up. Millicent came running over from the barn, yelling, "Clark! Clark! Come quick! Hurry up already! Come!" I asked what the problem was and she said, "you have to help my Uncle Jack off a horse!" Well, of all the things I had planned for the day, helping her Uncle Jack off a horse was not among them! But the poor fella was stuck, through no fault of his own. These things happen from time to time. What could I do? When the love of your life (at the time, kind of) asks you to help her Uncle Jack off a horse, you help her Uncle Jack off a horse. It wasn't the first time I did something I never thought I'd do at Pen Island and it certainly wouldn't be the last... which is ultimately why Millicent and I broke up. But that's another story.
|Pen Island: DAMN, how I miss this place!!|