Monday, December 3, 2012

Just One Of The Reasons The Unbelievables Are (Fashion) Experts Of Disguise (A Skewed Holiday Tale)


The above? It pretty much says it all. It's an old graphic artist's rendition of Clark and Jeff from years gone by, the former educating a very young latter in the art of necktie etiquette. 

Those were the days.

You see, Clark was (and always has been) The Unbelievables' fashion maven. He has been instrumental in leading our clandestine group via disguise case after case after case. Throughout, those disguises have been dapper and deranged, depeche modified and downplayed, "dressed to the nines" and (as was sometimes necessary) dappled in dullery. It's all about what our work calls for. And sometimes? It's not all glamor and glitz.

Take the case of Sam Snow - one of the stranger files from The Unbelievables' history - who would later come to be known as "Frosty The Snowman." This was a caper that was not only one of our most successful, but one of our most far-reaching as well. You see, Sam Snow wanted to knock the holidays for a loop. He wasn't a jolly old soul when it came to the shorter days of the season, the colder climate, the holiday cheer and camaraderie. He was concerned only with his welfare and his comfort which were stingy and self-centered. The overiding fact of the matter was Snow had children, little monsters who didn't help his selfishness and, in fact, were the catalyst of his machinations.

Yes, Sam Snow suffered from a sort of Grinch syndrome. He wanted simply to be left alone. He wanted quiet. He wanted peace and goodwill, but only in the form of solitude all by his lonesome. And he believed the focal point of his delusion
began with his children. What to do? Destroy all children's toys from the face of the earth, one toy store at a time.

Well ... this crime chapter and photo to the right are testament to The Unbelievables' resolve (and resistance to cold) as well as Clark's penchant for costume design. Yes: It was he who came up with the brilliant idea to pose as Ken dolls, the boyfriend to the Mattel company's ultra popular Barbie. What could be more appropriate? Who else had a fashionable myriad of clothes and accessories?  Not only popular back in the 1960's when our adversary began his shenanigans, we felt Ken the perfect model for the role in quashing Snow's plans. Clark had done it again, this time with an icon of world-wide reknown.

Of course, no case was complete unless we had monikers. It was my idea to assume the code denominations for "The Kens" after the "real" name of the Ken doll: Ken Sean Carson. Clark (it being his plan from the get go) got the  titular name, Jeff became "Sean" and I morphed into "Carson."

Now ... about those red shorts ...

(... to be continued ...)

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