Mission: Eva

Uhm ... no.

"When you are three cool, stylish, butt-kicking, no-nonsense crimefighters with wicked moves and sweet wheels like we are, it's inevitable that some unscrupulous character is gonna try and steal your mojo in order to make a quick cynical buck or five."

Being suave and stylish has its drawbacks, folks.

And that can only mean one thing: The holidays, peaceful as they were, are behind us and the start of the new year brings unwanted shenanigans. (Hokay ... that's two things. Work with me here.)

Who would have ever thought we'd have Eva Longoria to contend with going into January? Not me. And not any of the guys.

So, I was on the phone to The Law Offices of Poon lickety split. New Year pleasantries were exchanged with our buddy Chung Poon, our our crackerjack attorney at law, then it was down to business.

"Guys ... you don't really have a leg to stand on. It's not like Eva's swiping your image or your sense of style. Not even close. She's riding the coattails of Selleck's once-popular show. The only thing you two have in common is the word 'Unbelievable' ... that's it. If she used 'The UnbeliEVAbles' that would be a different story all together. I could slap here with some infringement jabs. But, as it stands, you've got nothing. And I'm sure you don't want to get underhanded about this. It's not worth it. Let it drop ..."

"I think you're underestimating her, Chung." I countered. "You're forgetting she has an ulterior motive: To reveal specific Unbelievables' trade secrets."

"You have proof of that?" Chung asked. "Because if not, it's still pointless to pursue. And even if that is her intention, the best thing you can do is let her trip up. Then I can pin something on her."

Naturally, the guys and I were disappointed. The last thing we wanted was this dim bulb shining any kind of disparaging light our way.

And that's when Clark came up with the following idea ...

Unbelievable Legalities

We get letters ...

"Dear Unbelievables:

You know, I've noticed lately you guys get by with a lot of stuff that comes close to crossing lines.

Just-this-side of slanderous celebrity call outs. Lots of tossing people out hotel windows from who knows how many stories up. Product endorsements that seem suspect. Seminars and lessons and what have you you "claim" as your own. Unbelieva-this and Unbelieva-that and Unbelieva-whatever, guaranteed to improve and enlighten and protect and more.

Personally, I don't know how you guys get away with a lot of the things you do.

You must have a killer legal team. I am curious.

Signed, George"

Well, "George," you hit the nail on the head. We have terrific legal representation in the event of any matters that call for such: The Law Offices of Poon and their subsidiaries.

Plus ... they even have roof top parking!

 Our buddy and confidant Chung S. Poon.

Advisor extraordinaire.

 Poon is world wide, too, with some of the best training schools in London.

Margaret Poon is Chung's sister-in-law.

The firms are family affairs.

Now ... more to the points of your letter, your "specifics" ...

Understandably, there are a good number of celebrities (and so call celebrities at that) who need to be called out, I'm certain you'll agree. Getting in the games they do, them being in the public eye is part of the job description. So, really, there's not too much hullabaloo on that front.

Throwing people out of windows? Hey ... it happens.

I can assure you, however, there isn't one person, male of female, we three have given the ole heave ho to who didn't deserve it. Scout's honor. (Besides, no self-respecting villain would run to the authorities or seek legal advice about getting flung from the 10th floor of a luxury suite. They'd be the laughing stock of their profession.)

Product endorsements? Our specialized seminars and trainings? All legitimate.

Of course ... there have been a few situations which necessitated the esteemed George S. Poon and his expertise. And, in the grand scheme of things, they weren't that big a deal. Not in retrospect, at any rate.

I'll let Jeff and Clark detail those items ...