A Project Close To My Heart and Stomach

I'm sure if you haven't been living under a very large rock for the last few years you'll have noticed that people are very into diets. Every few weeks a new diet comes up that promises either boundless energy or rapid weight loss or both. Celebrities are very keen to slap their name on these fad diets, too.

There's Tom Hanks' No-Sugar diet, Harry Styles' Bulletproof diet, Elle McPherson's Super Elixir Diet and the ridiculous and disgusting "Kale and chewing gum" diet followed by Jake Gyllenhaal. Good grief!

Add to that the paleo diet, gluten-free, vegetarian, vegan, fruitarian, etc. etc.,  it's all so confusing! Especially when you're hungry. I mean, who has time to figure out fat content and E-numbers when we need breakfast!?

So that's why I thought - why not cut through all the muddle and bring out my own diet - purely for altruistic purposes, you understand, and not to make a fast buck - and just to keep things simple, call it "Jeff's Unbelievable Whipped Potato Diet"! It'll soon be available in a handsome leather-bound set of ten volumes, a bargain at a mere $99.97 or twenty payments of $6.23 + sales tax.

Here are a few highlights.

The classic Whipped Potatoes with Roasted Garlic.

Potato Mounds for that rare occasion when there are leftovers.

Potato Pancakes...

Potato burgers...

Potato muffins...

Another classic, potato croquettes...

Mashed potato soup...

and you can even make a healthy potato smoothie served in a hollowed-out spud.

Now, just in case you were thinking, "Is it all potatoes, then?" let me put your mind at ease. No, it's not all potatoes. That would be silly!

No, there's a section in the back of the book titled Entertaining Unbelievable Style where I've plundered some of my favourite recipes from the true era of dinner parties, the 1970s. Examples? So glad you asked.

Cheez Whiz - an essential kitchen item.

Appetizing, no?

Velveeta adds fun to anything.

Need I say more?

Your guests will flock to the table.

Bananas are, I believe, a much underused kitchen ingredient.

So to clarify, it is mostly potatoes, with some unhealthy processed and deep-fried treats thrown in for good measure.


Michael and Clark have their own vanity projects they'd like to tell you about later in the week.