TV - The Same Old Same Old

Those lousy TV companies. They just want to make a fast buck off of our good name, uncopyrighted as it may be. We don't get consulted. Not even so much as a Post-It note stuck on the mailman's heel.

Just last week one of our celebrity moles (who shall for security purposes remain nameless but will doubtless be familiar to millions as a lifeguard or the owner of a talking car) alerted us to three new shows currently in the planning stages. Clearly they are based on our lifestyle and status as crimefighters, and at the same time shameless ripoffs of old TV shows that were unfeasibly popular.

Here they are in all their plagiaristic glory:

1)

Three FBI agents (named Noble, Brooks, and the enigmatic Mr. Hickmott) are investigating a series of unexplained occurrences while accompanied by various scantily-clad ladies.(Hello, ladies!!) Also stars Pauly Shore. Hmmm.

2)

Three retired playboy crimefighters named Jesse Cough-Lecher,  Jeff Eco-Fletcher and Jerry Kofeletzer move to a quiet town in New England where they begin to solve murder mysteries in under an hour, accompanied by a bevy of scantily-clad ladies.(Hello, ladies!!!) Also starring Willie Aames.

3)

They'll be there for you.

Three hot women (Hello, ladies!!) who enjoy jumping in fountains share a New York apartment above a coffee shop, in the company of their three butt-kicking crimefighter boyfriends - Jeff, the tall nerdy shlub, Michael, the aspiring actor who loves sandwiches (with his cheeky catchphrase "What's up, ladies!") and Clark, the wisecracking penpusher who, uh, cracks wise. Like, all the time. Also stars Fred Stoller. I actually kinda like the sound of this one.

More on Friday!