The Jobs We Don't Do

As was said on Monday, we get letters all the time asking us all manner of questions and requesting all kinds of assistance. Seems people are now so lazy that they turn to us for the slightest trivial issue.Never mind calling 911, we get asked to fill in for plumbers, electricians, vets, sous chefs, prima ballerinas... it's crazy. And even though we could do those things (take it from me, once you get some tights on Clark, you would not believe the pirouettes and grand jetés we see from him), it's not what we are about. Not our primary function.

Some of the oddest requests I can recall being asked to do? 

There was the time Simon Pyman from Tewkesbury in Gloucestershire wrote us his tale of woe concerning flooring. Seems he was concerned that the laminate wasn't fitted correctly.

No kidding.

All we could say was "Call a professional. This isn't our area. Sorry."

For some reason flooring comes up a lot. For example, Roger De Loger of Stet, MO thought we could help him with his carpeting issues.

Seriously, do these people not own a Yellow Pages?

It wasn't just Roger. Gryant Bumbel of Mossy, WV also sent pics of his shoddy carpet.

I mean, come on!

There was also a slew of people needing help with their broken ovens. I'm serious. Take a look at this selection.

What the heck happened here, Davina McBatty of Sainte-Agathe-des-Monts, Quebec?

Loreena Quigley of Goole, Yorkshire, I think a broken oven is the least of your worries.

Just to set the record straight, we are not repairmen, carpet fitters or flooring specialists. So quit bugging us, people.

Hopefully next week will be better.