Monday, August 22, 2016

Sorry, Folks ... We Don't Cause International Incidents

Poutine: Fries with squeeky cheese and gravy

Yes, The Unbelievables are fabulous, well-mannered, snappy dressers and popular with the ladies. (Hello, Ladies!)

But we've said it before: There's only so much we can do.

All requests that come through our mailbag or answering service receive our individual attention, but you have to understand there are certain things that have been set in place which are pretty immovable - they can't be messed with. Often, that's where our many foes choose to venture and when we have to step in. (See previous posts for the many and varied examples.)

Case in point: I don't know why but we receive letters several times a month asking if there's anything we can do about the beginning of the week, Mondays. Why anyone in there right mind would think we would want to tackle such a staple of everyday life, something that pops up week in and week out 52 times a year, is beyond me. And why it's so vilified in the first place is beyond my personal comprehension. I've mentioned it before and I'll mention it here again: There's nothing I, or The Unbelievables, can do about Mondays. Accept them for what they are, however they manifest themselves. Personally, I love Mondays and don't understand all the hate ... which, in my opinion, I hypothesize might be from others' sad and sorry states of attitude.

Or cats. Look: There are dog lovers and cat lovers out there. It's usually the dog lovers who contact us and ask what can be done once and for all about cats. The answer is simple - not a damned thing. We don't mess with evolution (Hello! Evolution is beyond our control!) or the proclivities (wrong though they may be) of feline affection. Again ... deal with it. They're a fact of the matter and they're not going away any time soon.

Where's all this leading? Directly to today's topic, something that reared its head as a result of a small leak in my personal undercover operations ...

"Hey, Michael:

I understand you're soon to be 'on assignment' in The Great White North. While there, see if you can do anything about that odd Canadian favorite poutine. Why anyone would want to eat something so bland is beyond me.

Work it and get back to me when you can. Soon

- Charles"

Well Chuck, first off I'm not about to begin the week pissing off our neighboring country to the north by dissing one of their national culinary treasures. As far as I'm concerned, poutine never hurt anyone.

The dish - french fries topped with cheese curds (sometimes known as "squeeky cheese") and mild tasting gravy - is a personal preference of Canadians. You have every right to indulge in the concoction or otherwise without fear of reprisal or consequence. Personally, I get a hankering for fries and gravy, but gravy of the thicker, more flavorful variety ... and sans cheese curds. Cheese curds, in and of themselves, are often bland as a rule. Why Canadians love them so much is their business, not mine.

This place digs lacrosse, all things maple and cheese curds.

Sure, poutine has migrated its way into the United States, particularly Washington, the Dakotas, Minnesota, Wisconsin. But we don't boycott those folks just because their eating proclivities drift over to the blah, uninspiring end of things.

And The Unbelievables aren't willing to get on Canada's bad side over their food preferences.

That's something our foes (i.e. Little Debbie) might delve into ... not us.

Evil, personified.

Clark and Jeff might have other personal takes on Mondays or cats or poutine and other things too ridiculous to look into as a butt-kicking entity.

Stay tuned ...

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