Friday, April 1, 2016

It's Not A Mistake, It's A Learning Opportunity

Errors of judgement. Tactical mistakes. Looking foolish. Egg on face.

These are all things that happen to even such infallible persons such as our great selves. But in our case, much less frequently than your average Joe Schmoe Q. Public. Because, at the risk of sounding egotistical, we ARE that good.

Speaking from a personal standpoint, my error catalog seems to encompass food and food-related items more than the others. For example:

That one time I made a humongous batch of whipped potatoes for our annual Summer 'Q (which included live performances by Penn and Teller impersonators Schmenn and Schmeller, 

In this version, Schmenn is the one that doesn't speak.

Michael Bublé tribute act Paddy O'Dors,

 and Smash Mouth), and put sugar in them instead of salt by mistake! The lead singer of Smash Mouth, Steve Harwell, was so irritated he went on a tirade, much like this one when he was playing a gig at a Food Festival and someone in the audience threw bread at him. I mean, come on! You're at a Food Festival! What else are people gonna chuck at you? Mud? This isn't Glastonbury!

I explained that the sugar was accidental and he calmed down after a few shots of Old Grand-Dad. Oh how we laughed.

Then there was the time we were staking out a pizza buffet in the case known as "Stuffed Crust Smugglers". Clark and I almost gave the game away when we realised we were hungry and called for some pizza to be delivered, only to discover we were accidentally dialling the number of the place we were staking out! Oh how we laughed.

I also recall the moment when, during a cocktail party with the Unbelievababes, I was blending up some frozen alcoholic treats when I reached for my trusty strainer and accidentally pulled a gun on myself and nearly blew my own bloody head off! Oh how we laughed.

Here's a better idea.

To cap it all, then there was the time I put my own and everyone else's safety in jeopardy when, during a high-speed chase, I felt peckish and popped open the glovebox to reveal a new addition I'd made to the 'Vette - a fold-out chopping board - and started to whip up a salmon salad with microgreens, cracked black pepper and lemon vinaigrette. The guys were so overcome by the delicious aromas that Clark nearly lost control and missed a guard rail by millimetres. Long story short, we got our man, but the guys were pissed at me. Once they'd eaten, however, all was forgiven.

NB. Not actually us.

Oh how we laughed.

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