Wednesday, September 2, 2015


Yep, smitten. Smoted.

It was if I was stripped of all normalcy (Quiet up there in the peanut gallery, you!) and my usual suave demeanor replaced with puppy-like qualities, good only for following along in Jade's shadow, tail-waggingly happy and contented.

I was smitten, all right.

And I had no clue why. I don't have any bent toward either the Orient or Asian culture, I'm not particularly keen on Japanese cuisine. And, truth be told, Jade's dress wasn't really all that short.

But ... there was a certain allure to the woman that caught my eye. It's rumored 'round the Unbelieva-Base when I fall hard I don't leave any room for doubt. In other words: Head first, heels pointed to the sky.

Over the course of a few winter months, Jade and I had a grand time. We frequented her rundown ski resort and whiled away the time frolicking on the slopes in the afternoons (curious in that skiing is not anywhere on my list of activities I enjoy, that's how smitten I was) and cuddling up for cocktails come the 4 o'clock hour. I gladly helped her out with a lot of the necessary paperwork while she was procuring and selling off her resort -- it was harmless enough. The transaction was on the up and up, nothing nefarious or underhanded about it. Jade had found a willing, able and capable vehicle to further promote her eventual criminal intents, unbeknownst to me of course. After all, that puppy love attitude was easily fostered and controlled. (A weakness I've since defeated.)

Behind the scenes, however, Jade was steadily working her charms in other manners as Jeff detailed Monday. I knew nothing of her other "ventures" not the least of which was the pogo stick kleptomania she kept on the down low. Oh ... I caught a little looksy here and there of them hidden away in a closet or out in a box in the garage, but I didn't ask any questions and wrote it off as one of those little quirks of character people tend to have. I figured the lovely Jade just had a thing for pogo sticks.

And, therein, was her undoing. It was almost my undoing, me being so taken with this master criminal I had no idea was a master criminal.

It was Clark who figured out her scheme (pogo stick tainted as it was) and ended up saving my hide. And that's why it's not me who will detail the final reveal of this tale but Clark, with his good guy acumen and obvious armor which protects him from women with sultry, pseudo-Eastern wiles ...

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