Our fears were allayed once we received his first email showing him, ahem, "doing battle" with Lucretia Von Schploomph. Yeah, right. The most testing part of that "battle" must have been deciding whether to stand or sit while she "assailed" him. And when I say assailed, I mean 'made out with'.
No, truth be told, there are many ladies we have encountered in the past who are more fearsome and deadly than Lucretia (bless her bodyguarding, buttkicking lil' heart) could ever hope to be. That's not to say anything bad against Miss Von Schploomph, heavens no. It's just that we all know she's actually a real sweetheart.
Yes, there's been a lot of crazy hellions littering our trail, and these ladies are just a few...
|The infamous Woman With No Name, who communicated solely with the aid of the Face-O-Phone. Michael has a story about her which would make your toes curl.|
|These fearsome ladies are the alternative speed-mathcore metal trio Brutal Koala's Fist. We've never met them, nor do we wish to. Yeesh!|