Unbelievables agent Michael Noble is missing! He was supposed to check in this morning but has failed to do so. Through years of experience as master detectives, we have narrowed down the possible scenarios to three reasonable conclusions:
- He is in grave danger
- He is not in grave danger
- Something else
Our investigation will focus on those three things. In the meantime, you can help us by keeping an eye out. Places he may go (presuming he is not in danger) include the following:
- Nude volleyball games
- Semi-nude volleyball games
- Nude tetherball games
- Nude lacrosse games
- Nude spelunking
- Nude sports car driving
Basically, let us know if you see any nude dudes.
Better (MUCH better) let us know if you see any nude ladies. Go ahead and use the hot line if that happens. Jeff and I will respond immediately to those calls.
(No biggie, Michael will turn up; he always does)
Thank you for your cooperation, citizens.