Saturday, October 29, 2016

The Smaller The Better

The SILLYs (that's the Society of Idiotic Ludicrous and Laughable Yucksters) are a bunch of clowns. That we know.

They are hell-bent on ruining Halloween and any other days they can think of by gadding about and getting all up in everyone's grill with their freaky makeup and menacing grins. And it's up to us, The Unbelievables, to quell the SILLY clown rebellion.

As Clark said on Wednesday, "...the way we brought The Leapers back to earth (heh!) was building a trap. It worked then, no reason it won't work this time.

The question remains, what kind of trap will we use to round up The SILLYs?"

The answer is diabolically simple. They're clowns, right? And what type of vehicle can clowns not resist? 

Exactly. Small ones, the smaller the better. They see a small car, they try to jam about 25 clowns in it.

So we have embarked on a program of buying up all the tiny vehicles we can muster, making some slight modifications to them (that is, making it so that whoever gets in it can't get out) and parking them in random places. Just like a wasp trap (a jar filled with warm water with a spoonful of jam dissolved in it, covered over with a newspaper lid held secure by a rubber band, with a small hole poked in the top - the irritating wasps are drawn to the sweet-smelling jar, climb in through the small hole and subsequently drown in the sweet liquid -- it's barbaric but effective), the SILLYs will be irresistibly drawn to the miniature autos and, once inside, the automatic locks will trap them, whereupon we will come and get the car towed to the nearest police precinct.

Here are some vehicles we purchased just this afternoon...

That should take care of them. And hopefully in the process, we'll catch the leader of the SILLYs...

although what we'll do with him once we've caught him, I'm sure I don't know.

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