Dear Unbelievables,
In which way are you most disappointed that life isn't like cartoons?
Sincerely,
B. Watterson
Dear B,
Definitely the fact that bullet holes in bad guys' heads don't come out perfectly round and don't always go all the way through.
Dear Unbelievables,
Ultimately, doesn't a word, ANY word, only have as much power as you give it? I mean, come on.
Sincerely,
P. Deen
Dear P,
Yes. You douchenozzle.
Dear Unbelievables,
If you're not guilty, you have nothing to hide. Right?
Sincerely,
K. Alexander
Dear K,
Somehow, I think you already know how we feel about that.
Dear Unbelievables,
I can't decide whether I want to be a DJ or a social media guru. What should be my first step?
Sincerely,
A. Teen
Dear A,
Fill this out
Dear Unbelievables,
What's one thing that doesn't get a lot of attention that makes you such effective crimefighters?
Sincerely,
C. Urious
Dear C,
I'd say it's actually a healthy level of respect for our foes. Not for their values, of course, but for their skills and abilities. It keeps us from underestimating them.
Dear Unbelievables,
I'm so glad you said that, because I have a fiendishly clever riddle for you: What starts out "blue", becomes "slippery when wet" before turning "red all over"? Hmmmm? Engage me in this cunning game of cat-and-mouse, won't you?
Sincerely,
H. Petit
Dear Henri Petit,
Oh my God, you fat stupid ugly baby. More of your fat, stupid, infantile, made-up nonsense?
Dear Unbelievables,
I'm not a baby and it's not nonsense. It's an incredibly difficult riddle. I worked really hard on it and it involves the safety of a top governemnt official's family, so...
Sincerely,
Henri
Dear Petit,
I'm on my way over there and I'm going to beat you with your own high chair for a half hour and then I'm going to punt you through a plate glass window, you horrible, ugly, horrible child..
Dear Unbelievables,
Just kidding. Please don't come over.
Sincerely,
Henri "for the last time, I'm not a child" Petit
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