Monday, July 8, 2013

Teamwork is the key!

Ironically, I wasn't present for this photoshoot.
People are often amazed at our incredible track record of success. "Are you guys inhuman? Don't you ever make mistakes?", they ask. The answer to one of those questions is no and the other answer is yes. When we have strayed from the team dynamic, we have come up with sub-optimal results.

I remember this one time, we had all decided to take on our own individual public service efforts.

Michael had scheduled a camera crew to come to The Unbelieva-base to film him offering a myriad of handy tips. Unfortunately, he hadn't planned anything in advance and was just walking around, hoping to find things to comment on, with the camera crew following him. He wandered into the kitchen and was relieved to see that someone had left the refrigerator door open.
"Ah yes. Leaving the 'fridge door open. There's no need to cool the great outdoors; global warming has seen to that!" 
He winked, smiled, gave a thumbs-up and closed the door before moving on to other rooms, looking for other areas of household malfeasance.

What he didn't realize was that Jeff had hired a camera crew of his own and that they were shooting an instructional video on how to responsibly handle human organs that had been harvested and would be donated to needy patients. As Michael left the kitchen, Jeff walked in, carrying an Igloo Playmate cooler containing a human head that was slated to be grafted on to the body of an unfortunate person who had somehow lost or damaged his own.
"Now, by planning ahead and opening the refrigerator door before retrieving the container, I can simply place it inside and not worry about any mishaps that could result from a clumsy attempt to open it while...what the...?!?"
Being a pro, Jeff was looking at the camera the whole time and didn't see the door was closed. Instead of sliding the Igloo Playmate inside, he banged it against the door, it popped open and the frozen head fell out  It was slippery (due to being frozen), kind of round and also gross so nobody was able to pick it up as it rolled through the kitchen, under a table and down a hallway, where Michael had just laid out some mousetraps, thumbtacks and lit matches in order to illustrate a point about the dangers of leaving common household items lying around. The head gathered these items like a human snowball as it made it's way into the dining hall, where I was hosting a press luncheon  and trying to deal with a public relations issue facing my ill-fated community initiative, "Violence Solves Everything!". .
"I've heard some of you in the media express some doubt about this initiative. Why, I've even heard that it has actually led some of you to have concerns about The Unbelievables use of torture in interrogating suspects. That's absurd! Let me assure you that we have never, ever..."
At that exact moment, I was interrupted by horrified screams as a reporter saw the head, now adorned with mousetraps, colorful thumbtacks and a couple of burn marks, skid to a stop next to our table. This was followed by Jeff bursting into the room and yelling, "Get back here, you sonofa..." with Michael right behind, shouting, "Do it again! I need to get it on video this time!"

Yes, we've learned that we are much more effective as a unit that works together. The guys will clue you in on some other examples.


  1. OMG! Hilarious! I've had visuals of The Unbelievables engaged in various activities (rawr!) but never chasing after a human head bouncing around like a canned ham! This may affect my (ahem) "reading" habits.

  2. Also, Clark may have slipped to second on my "The Unbelievable I most want to sleep with" list after reading about his Violence Solves Everything initiative. That's kind of a turn-off for chicks, buddy. I'm not telling who is #1 now though. Ha ha!