Monday, April 1, 2013

In Cahoots With Owl Girl

The Owl. 

"All Owls are equipped with special adaptations that make them efficient predators. Keen eyesight allows them to locate quarry even in low light conditions. Sensitive, directional hearing helps locate concealed prey. Some species can even hunt in complete darkness using sound alone to guide them to a successful kill. An Owl's flight is silenced by special wing feathers, that muffle the sound of the air rushing over the surface of the wing. This allows an Owl to hunt by stealth, taking their victims by surprise. It also allows the Owl to listen for prey movements while still flying.

Most species hunt from a perch, such as a low branch, stump or fence post. They will wait for prey to appear, and swoop down with open wings, and their talons stretched forward. Some species will fly or glide a little way from the perch before dropping on the victim. In some cases, the Owl may simply drop on the target, opening their wings at the last moment.

Other species prefer to soar, or make quartering flights, scanning the ground below for a suitable meal. When a target is located, the Owl will fly towards it, keeping its head in line with it until the last moment. This is when the Owl pulls its head back, and thrusts its feet forward with the talons spread wide - two pointing backwards and two forwards.
The force of the impact is usually enough to stun the prey, which is then dispatched with a snap of the beak."

Oh yeah - you don't mess with owls. Which is why one of our partners in fighting worldwide crime is Owl Girl. She is one little birdie you try not to annoy if at all possible.

Ever alert, it's Owl Girl!
Owl Girl tipped us off that people have indeed been messing with owls - or, more precisely, with Owl DNA. Trying to create some sort of owl/human hybrid, with the sinister intent of building an army of Owl People. The evidence is below.

Galling stuff, I trust you'll agree. So how did Owl Girl happen upon this evidence?

Well, her suspicions were first aroused when she settled down one day after a hard day's vigilant crimefighting to watch some TV. Flipping through the channels, she sadly landed on TLC (which used to stand for The Learning Channel, but now we Unbelievables believe the L is for Losers) and an episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, and was immediately both repulsed and riveted by what she saw. For here was not only the world's most awful child, celebrated far beyond her worth on national TV....

..but her mother was clearly the result of such aforementioned human/owl experimentation.

"Whoo! Whoo!"

Once she did some digging around and realised just what it was she had unearthed, she called the Unbelieva-base and scheduled a sit-down pow-wow. When she arrived, we were immediately disarmed by her outward appearance.

We, of course, were dressed to thrill. 

Hello, ladies!
Owl Girl showed us what she had found, and we were shocked.

We put our heads together and formulated an immediate plan to find the perpetrator behind Owl People, and rid the world of them before things got way too out of hand. Michael and Clark will pick the story up from here, but suffice it to say -  you're welcome, world!

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