Friday, April 12, 2013

Back In The Day with Jeff - Or, Jeff's Evolution of (Crime-Fighting) Style

Being the only Unbelievable born and raised in a different country (the great UK), my early experiences were somewhat different to that of my fellow crime-fighters. But, even at an early age, I had an innate sense that I was somewhat special. It may have been that the toys were different ("Action Man" instead of "GI Joe"), the shoes were different (Clarks instead of Keds), the clothes, the atmosphere... whatever you want to call it, it was clear I had a gift. A calling, if you will. One that I was to share with fellow camp-mate when we were 14-year-olds at Camp Action!, and later to share with Clark as we were fledgling Unbelievables. Even later, to share with the world (and especially the ladies) as we championed the cause of justice and freedom throughout the cosmiverse.

Michael and Clark have already shown you some early snaps of themselves and kinfolk at this tender and impressionable stage of their lives. Now it falls to me to continue the trend and fish out some photos of the young Jeff. Here goes... it could get messy.

Back in the day it was considered OK to put your son in something resembling a dress, sit them on top of the sideboard and see what happens. Clearly I was unfazed by it all and just smiled as if to say, "Ha! I laugh in the face of potential falls and other safety hazards!"
My first major coup - winning the local Bonny Baby contest. Those other guys never stood a chance.
Not only was I extremely fashionable from a young age, my family were too. Here I am pictured with Mum aka The Mole, Sis aka Lefty, Nan aka The Fixer, and family matriarch Gran, otherwise known as "G".
Lefty and I on one of our early undercover assignments as wedding guests in the case of  "Bride and Groom Kaboom".
On the same assignment, "G" passing on some information about some dodgy-looking potato salad.
Lefty and I hosted a masterclass called How To Tell A Real Cake From A Bomb Cake.
As the years passed, it became obvious that I was a stylish gent in the making.

Me with Big L and The Cook (aka Nan and Grandad). I learned a lot about style from these two.

If there is one thing the ladies love, it's a skinny teen in a fishnet t-shirt.

My prized antique linen weskit helps me to blend in with the background seamlessly.
One of the things we Unbelievables are noted for is our mastery of disguise. We all bring different aspects of this skill to the table which enables us to help each other out when selecting the perfect get-up. For my part I am able to use skills that were taught to me by my Grandfather, Big L. Not only was he able to impart knowledge of crimefighting skills...

Here we are selecting the perfect desk accessory to be turned into a weapon in our arsenal of gadgets. The lady in the background was trying to listen in, but before she could blab anything to anyone she developed a severe headache and had to have a couple of ibuprofen and a lie down, after which she forgot all about it.

...he was a true chameleon and claimed to have studied the techniques of actor Lon Chaney in perfecting his craft. For example:

This recently declassified photo shows Big L  in deep cover as Musky LaPointe,  French-Apache fur trader and mountain man.
Here are a few pictures of myself in deep cover...

As Kenny Bonsoir, chubby Rik Mayall and unicorn impersonator, on  The Case Of The Disappearing Chicken Tikka Masala.

In the pillory disguised as a tourist.

With Lefty, disguised as Marco Pontoon, real-estate magnate and fishing buff. This case was called Shape Up Or Ship Out.

You can see here where Big L's influence was rubbing off  on me. This character is called  Keen-Eyes McTraction, sharpshooter extraordinaire. I was undercover at a Wild West theme park, where someone had been stealin' all the popcorn for nefarious purposes.

Rockin' and rollin' as Skins Wolstenholme, ace drummer for Bullfrog and The Toads.  The case was called  Over And (Far) Out.

Blending in seamlessly again with some nice Slovakian ladies (Hello, ladies!)

Again, as an overweight chubby guy in a shop trying on terribly overpriced hats.  The case? Fur Too Expensive.

Glasses can simply change one's appearance beyond recognition, can't they? Yes, believe it or not, this is me.

Here I am as Oberon in our Unbelievable production of The Tempest.

Not in disguise, but learning all about the art of the bow tie with The Mole.
With each passing year I have learned more and more about the things it takes to be an Unbelievable. We, all three of us, have a motto: A day without learning is a day wasted. I can certainly vouch for that: every day brings a new skill or new style tip, each equally valuable. And that, folks, is why I shall remain...

A truly stylish gent.

No comments:

Post a Comment