Friday, December 28, 2012

Hangin' With Mr. Hefner

One of the fun side-effects of being interviewed for Playboy was getting to meet the ultimate playboy himself, Mr. Hugh Hefner. Long have we three admired the man's sense of style, his charm, his pipe, his millions (let's not beat around the bush), and mostly his enormous mansion filled with hot babes. I mean, what's not to like about a guy whose girlfriend gives him a chocolate mould of her butt as a present? Turns out on meeting him, though, he was actually an admirer of ours. So, when this fact was discovered, a piece appeared in the magazine in which we were interviewed alongside the great man.

PLAYBOY MAGAZINE: So Mr. Hefner, what is it about the Unbelievables that floats your boat?

HH: Well, these guys just ooze charm, don't they? Look at the way they're dressed. I said look at them! Style, elan, panache - there are many words to describe that indefinable quality they possess, but no word quite covers it. Plus, they are butt-kicking masters. Michael has given me an introductory course in their martial arts discipline, Unbelieva-Fu.

CLARK: (To Michael) I thought you said I could give him the intro course.

MICHAEL: Well, it - I mean, it didn't work out. The days were all messed up and stuff. I had to do it Wednesday.

C: Wednesday? I didn't have anything going on Wednesday.

JEFF: Neither did I actually, Michael. What gives?

M: Hey, listen, you guys always jump in and get to do stuff before I get a chance, so I just wanted a piece of the action, OK?

PLAYBOY: And what sort of student is Mr. Hefner, Michael?

M: He's really good. I mean he's a natural. He'll be kicking butt in no time.

J: Whatever.

C: Hey Mr. Hefner - can I call you Mr. Hefner?

HH: Sure thing, Clark.

C: So Hugh, you want me to - shut up, Michael - you want me to teach you some Unbelieva-Zen?

M: Oh, you brown-noser!

HH: That's very kind of you Clark - 

M: (mocking tone) Dat berry kind o you Clarrrk.

HH: - but Jeff has already talked to me at length about it. It's fascinating.


JEFF: What? I didn't think it would be a big deal, I mean, Michael had given him the Unbelieva-Fu lesson, so I-

CLARK: Wait wait wait wait... you knew about Michael?

JEFF: You didn't?

PLAYBOY: So Mr. Hefner, do you think that, given time, The Unbelievables would have you as an honorary member?

HH: Well, I don't know, what do you think, boys?

M: In a heartbeat.

J: Sure.

C: No comment.

PLAYBOY: I see. Well, boys, Mr. Hefner, it only remains for me to thank you for your time, and wish you Happy Holidays.

HH: Feliz Navidad, baby.

C: ---
J: Yeah.
M: Um.

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