Monday, January 23, 2017

Three Rings... of Crime!

We, The Unbelievables, never want to scare you. So before we scare you, let me assure you that we're on it.
It, being the situation I'm about to tell you about, the one that will scare you.


Whoa! Relax! I said we're on it!

Now, some of you who weren't scared by this announcement were probably thinking, "Yeah? The circus comes to town every year. What's the big deal?" Well, in case you missed the news, the Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus is closing after its current run of shows. And if there's one thing we know from countless comic books, video games, cartoons and Batman movies with Danny DeVito in them, nothing good comes from circus performers having too much time and too little earning potential on their hands. It takes very few missed paychecks to go from this:

To this:

And while they may not look like they're up to anything nefarious, they're also clearly not inducing mirth and merriment.

So while I wouldn't go so far as to say that we're profiling these performers in anticipation of them breaking bad, we are monitoring their activities while re-watching the AMC series "Breaking Bad".
Former human cannonball Tuco Salamanca
For example, the Ringmaster (it always starts with the Ringmaster):
The sudden loss of a position of authority and all the esteem that comes with that, combined with the sudden loss of access to quality dental care and it's easy to see how a Ringmaster might take a dark turn.

The guys will detail some other characters we're keeping an eye on later this week, but rest assured, we're on it! Even though you're completely justified in being frightened beyond control by the idea of rogue circus performers terrifying you and your family.

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