Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Baaaaaaaaaad News part 2

Before one of us could even comment on how peaceful a place called "Serenity Acres" must be, we heard the "Beep...Beep...Beep..." of trucks backing up. That was followed in quick order by the "Bleat...Bleat...Bleat..." of animals loaded onto those trucks. A LOT of bleating as in A LOT of animals, all of them goats. Truck after truck lined up to offload on our property. So many! We couldn't count the trucks, let alone the individual animals. What the hell was going on??
"What the hell is going on??", asked Michael. The driver of the lead truck said, "We have your livestock delivery, fellas. Where do you want us to leave it all? Because we thought we'd just open the tailgate and let them out all over the place and then drive off. But that was before we realized you were actually here." "No, no, no, don't do that!", Jeff yelled as the drivers of the other trucks did exactly that. I piped up with, "There must be some mistake. We didn't order any livestock. Why would we?" The lead driver was pushing the last goat out of the back of his truck as he answered, "Who knows? We just drive the trucks. Livestock today, furniture tomorrow, who knows the day after that, y'know?" As he hopped into the cab of his truck and drove off, leading the others, Michael asked, "Is that it? Do we need to sign something or...? No? Okay, I guess." It was barnyard bedlam! Goats everywhere. But they were pretty adorable and a couple of them came right over and nuzzled us affectionately
I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Well, I guess we're in charge of all these animals now. I always wanted to be a farmer."
Jeff said, "Yeah, this is no big deal. We can make this work. Unbelievaranchers!"
Michael sighed and said, "I suppose we could...". He paused, his thoughts interrupted by the sight of one of the goats munching on his very favorite macrame vests which he was wearing at the time. He clenched his fists as his eyes glowed like embers, He turned to us and growled, "This...shall not stand."
R.I.P, vesty

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